Coronavirus - Keeping it light :-)

OnlQQker · Jan 20, 2021

'If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.' - Oscar Wilde

andyb · Jan 20, 2021

telectrix said:
old lady lives alone. struggling to work out how to start on a new jigsaw.
phones her neighbour and tells him she hasn't got a clue where to start. if you can come and help, i'll do you some breakfast.
OK says the neighbour, what's the jigsaw picture on the box?
a red rooster, she says.
so he ambles over takes a look and tells her there's no way we can get this done as a jigsaw.
now, let's put the cornflakes back in the box and have that breakfast.

On the subject of jigsaws, I used the first lockdown to have a go at my first one. I did it for 3 or 4 hours a night and it took me 4 months. I was quite pleased with that, it said 2 to 3 years on the box.

andyb · Jan 20, 2021

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OnlQQker · Jan 21, 2021

At the interview today...

James · Jan 21, 2021

OnlQQker said:
At the interview today...

View attachment 63941

did you get the job?

telectrix · Jan 21, 2021

telectrix · Jan 21, 2021

123 · Jan 21, 2021

James said:
did you get the job?

No he didn't, I think one of the female candidates with the same special skill did though

pirate · Jan 22, 2021

I ordered a custom-made jigsaw for a Christmas present for a friend...

Mike Johnson · Jan 22, 2021

4 Husbands
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
(Wait for it)
She smiled and explained,
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

I will get my hat.

pirate · Jan 22, 2021

There is another thread about replacing a so-called euro plug, to which I can't contribute as I don't have access to the DIY forum.
However, keeping things light...I love those 2 pin beauties! Yes, you can get rewireable ones, but of course they normally come moulded-on. Also, as previously pointed out, they come with different pin spacings, but it can be fun trying to get a match. However, my favourite thing is that they are "plugs"! Not "plug-tops" as they don't have a top...or a bottom. Thus, no need for endless arguments as to terminology.

telectrix · Jan 22, 2021

our plugs have both tops and bottoms. the bottoms contain all the techy bits like pins, flex.terminals and a fuse. the tops are just there to hold the bottoms together and to stop you getting fried when you insert them into a socket.

pirate · Jan 22, 2021

FYI, those items to which you refer Tel are called "plugs"...ie all the "bits"...in the 5th edition COP for ISITEE.
(Probably to avoid confusing numpties like me!)

Mike Johnson · Jan 22, 2021

pirate said:
There is another thread about replacing a so-called euro plug, to which I can't contribute as I don't have access to the DIY forum.
However, keeping things light...I love those 2 pin beauties! Yes, you can get rewireable ones, but of course they normally come moulded-on. Also, as previously pointed out, they come with different pin spacings, but it can be fun trying to get a match. However, my favourite thing is that they are "plugs"! Not "plug-tops" as they don't have a top...or a bottom. Thus, no need for endless arguments as to terminology.

And the chap from Switzerland was nervous about how to change the plug, so nervous he took the earth pin out because the item did not need an earth, so he modified the plug and left a hole in the face of it.

pc1966 · Jan 22, 2021

Even in Italy you get two different conventions for sockets in use. The better hotels have both available so when you inevitably find you had the wrong adaptor with you, at least you have a 2nd go!

OnlQQker · Jan 22, 2021

New research shows ---- gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

OnlQQker · Jan 24, 2021

Meanwhile, down at KwikFit...

HappyHippyDad · Jan 24, 2021

The plasterer told me a joke the other day.

He began the joke and then went quiet whilst I waited for the rest of it.

2 ladies sitting quietly together in a hairdressers, minding their own business...........