1st Game of Golf ever

[GMES]

What could go wrong!
I am playing my 1st game of Golf ever tomorrow at 11.15, can't wait but I can see it quickly becoming a comedy sketch.
It is a 4 ball, 1 regular player who's good, one average who thinks he is happy gilmore, 1 left hooker who as never played and only it a bucket of balls on the range once, and then there's me been on the range probably 3 times but never played a round.
Get Ready!!!

 

[trev]

Good luck Glenn. You're going to need it

 

[GMES]

It's going to be a calamity Trev!!
And good morning mate.

 

[telectrix]

be careful:

Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.

Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden . . . POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?

Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life ... as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

THEN POOF! ... she was gone. After Dave got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend Fred. "Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the pussywillows."

Dave yells back......

"DON'T SWING FRED!!! For God's sake, DON'T SWING!!"

 

[trev]

Morning mate, on the up side you'll get a lot more golf than the rest. Swing, miss, swing, miss, swing, hit. Ball moves 3 or 4 metres then rinse and repeat.
Got rid of my clubs, hadn't used them in years and when I had it wasn't all that great.

 

[Octopus]

Look on the bright side as you'll probably get best value for money as you'll be taking lots of swings and shots!

 

[Paul.M]

I can only imagine a novice gorilla playing golf off 28 handicap peak time on a Sunday. Have fun Glenn, hope the weather holds out for you.

 

[Silly Sausage]

Where are you playing?
I can hide in the bushes and nip out onto the greens and nick your ball on the rare event you actually ever get it on one.

The 19th hole is the best.

 

[Pete999]

What could go wrong!
I am playing my 1st game of Golf ever tomorrow at 11.15, can't wait but I can see it quickly becoming a comedy sketch.
It is a 4 ball, 1 regular player who's good, one average who thinks he is happy gilmore, 1 left hooker who as never played and only it a bucket of balls on the range once, and then there's me been on the range probably 3 times but never played a round.
Get Ready!!!

Mornin Mate good luck, never could take to golf stuffin ball's too small

 

[GMES]

Hi Pete, I am hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

 

[jackhammerJIM]

have fun GMES but be careful . golf is highly addictive !

 

[Silly Sausage]

I gave it up because I got sick of being laughed at for wearing yellow jumpers and check trousers.

 

[Octopus]

Hi Pete, I am hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

As a first timer you should agree with the others to stop counting at 9 shots per hole so at the worst you'll go round in 162!

 

[High Tower]

I don't do gold, can't master the mechanics of it!, however one of my mates plays of a handicap of 3, and is a bit of a beast on the driving range!, so we get him up to the shooting ground with us, with a bucket of dead cheap, ex driving range balls (apparently if you know who to ask they are dead cheap!)

He sends them up, and we see how many we can hit

 

[GMES]

Now I'm ready

 

[dingledong]

Tiger woods look out

 

[ian.settle1]

Best hole on the golf course is the 19th

 

[Besoeker]

What could go wrong!
I am playing my 1st game of Golf ever tomorrow at 11.15, can't wait but I can see it quickly becoming a comedy sketch.
It is a 4 ball, 1 regular player who's good, one average who thinks he is happy gilmore, 1 left hooker who as never played and only it a bucket of balls on the range once, and then there's me been on the range probably 3 times but never played a round.
Get Ready!!!

You do know the origin of Golf don't you?
Well, it started at the Royal and Ancient in St Andrews in Fife.
King James VI, he of the KJV bible, used to play along the links there.
He called it "flog ball". But, being a man of words as the KJV demonstrates decided to give a little twist to make it seem more formal.

And "flog ball" became golf.

 

[Besoeker]

Then there was the Caliph with 18 wives.
He referred to them as his golf course........

 

[Silly Sausage]

Then there was the Caliph with 18 wives.
He referred to them as his golf course........

They didn't do oral then? :smilielol5:

Technically speaking, he could have just had six!