The Story of Creation ( according to the Electrician's Bible)

[Pete999]

gawd, pete. i gave you 1 agree,now you have a duplicate post.i gonna have to paqss on that one.my agrees are rarer than a indian university degree,

Not when the agree is deserved they aint Tel

 

[telectrix]

and finally, it came to pass , in the year of our lord 2018, that it was decreed that metal CUs would solve the problem of poor workmanship regarding tightening screw termimals properly, in spite of the recommendation of torque screwdrivers, and that poorly manufactured switches could be cured by the use of arc faullt detection units. never mind fixing the problem, let's just treat the symptoms, doctor shipman, please advise.

 

[Baddegg]

limp wrists= loose terminals!

 

[PEG]

...None of this is as funny as Jw's Good News

 

[The Ghost]

And the Beast was hated opon the face of the earth by the tradesmen upon it.

And NICEIC said look upon my works and despair

 

[Andy78]

funny stuff chaps

Wonder if the NICEIC or the IET actually bother to read these forums and take on board things that get commented on.

I know for sure that there are lurkers from certsure and other bodies on most forums and groups. They are not allowed to publicly comment on matters without it being an official statement though.

 

[Octopus]

I know for sure that there are lurkers from certsure and other bodies on most forums and groups. They are not allowed to publicly comment on matters without it being an official statement though.

I have my suspicions about a couple of people on here and most definitely 1 on another forum we mustn't talk about ...........

 

[Andy78]

I have my suspicions about a couple of people on here and most definitely 1 on another forum we mustn't talk about ...........

I'm not sure they even contribute to forums in any way. I do know that a lot of inspectors are not full time and are also trading electricians.

 

[sparkdog]

Wonder if that's how the Devil got to be called " Old NIC" Or was that Santa Clause?

 

[buzzlightyear]

and Moses went up to mount s88t and god said to Moses these are to 10 commandments take your triumph and go down the hill and tell the IET this is the new BBB bible ,and then go to the NICEIC and tell them they don't need to change it you have your own .and all the disciples' gathered in ore and trying touch the new bible according to the NICEIC.

 

[Midwest]

How do you explain all this, if you are an atheist then.

 

[Pete999]

How do you explain all this, if you are an atheist then.

 

[Kamikaze]

And the Lord said unto Nic, hence forth thy electricians shall mysteriously disappeareth from the face of the Earth until though stopeth creating boil in the bag sparks. And so it came to pass that Nic's sparks, which passeth all understanding, were banished from all the dominions of the Earth and there was much rejoicing.

 

[Kamikaze]

But alas, the die had already been cast, the evil one EMMA had cast her spell on the electric World, gone were the real Electricians, priced out of all recognition, in it's place we had plastic Electricians, duped by the Trade Trainers into thinking they were real Electricians.
Through the medium of the Magic Box and the heathen sheds DIY reared it's ugly head, hordes of people thronged these Dens of inequity, buying sockets and switches, under the false illusion that they could fit them on their own, only to realise, that Electricians are made, not produced by 5 weeks of training.
Despite years of wringing of hands and wailing on Forums, this practice, has grown and grown out of all proportions, every day we are inundated with, how do I do this and how do I become an Electrician in 5 weeks, and can I sign this that or the other off. When will it end?

I was up really late last night making voodoo dolls for…well…never mind, she will know soon enough who she is.

 

[Pete999]

I was up really late last night making voodoo dolls for…well…never mind, she will know soon enough who she is.

Not Sparky chick surely, She has only been a Mod for a few days.

 

[oracle]

Wonder if that's how the Devil got to be called " Old NIC" Or was that Santa Clause?

Santa is an anagram for Satan Other clues, he wears red, makes promises he doesn't keep, flies through the air...

 

[Kamikaze]

Not Sparky chick surely, She has only been a Mod for a few days.

She is safe for the time being, unless she starts throwing her weight about.

 

[pirate]

look upon my works, you mighty, and despair...

honestly, you guys need to get a life...at least Ozymandius had a neon tester...
or a bloke who's finger he stuck in an orifice...

it's time for a story...about how, when involved in a deep-clean of my wife's study yesterday, I unearthed my "lost" CK electricians scissors...

"DON'T FKN STEAL MY STUFF, OK?!!!"

oh, sorry...

 

[sparkdog]

Let us conclude with the hymn
All things bright and beautiful
All dimmers great and small.

 

[oracle]

All things bright and beautiful,
All accessories large and small,
All things bright and beautiful
And Screwfix sells them all.