Discuss The Wife V's The Pigeon? in the Electricians Chat - Off Topic Chat area at ElectriciansForums.net

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Paul.M

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Strange title I know but that's why your reading this thread.

Me and "my beloved" got home from a hard days work (well I did) at just before 7pm. She goes to put the kettle on and I hear "Paul, get in here and get this out!" I thought it would be a spider but Ho No, its a bloody pigeon that the cat has dragged in! Kitchen covered in fathers and bird poo, cat looking very pleased with itself. Pigeon in the corner shaking like Fred West at a patio convention.

I picked it up and put it in the back garden but realised that both its eyes are very badly infected and have been for a while so my honour of my cat has slipped a bit. This bird is goosed for the want of a better word.

My wife (here we go) wanted to take it to the pdsa that's close to us. My reply was "Its a pigeon, I've got a lump hammer." Ssshhheee is not impressed! "Oh no" she says looking at me as if she wants to use the lump hammer on me, "Im calling the rspca."

Almost an hour later and we are still waiting for this chap to turn up, I'm in the dog house for at least the night. I didn't help myself by saying such things like:-

"Another two of them we could have a pie."

"If you showed me this much attention, we could have a loving relationship."

Just before I went to the shop for a four pack and cigs I asked "Do we need cat food?"

"Yes"

"Do Whiskers sell pigeon flavour, obviously the cat likes it."


I've got a four pack and a fresh pack of cigs, cats been fed, wifes in a bloody awful mood with me for some reason?

It's a bloody pigeon for crying out loud. I've checked its legs and its not a prized racer, its not a cat or dog, fox, badger, red kite or any other animal that needs a helping hand if it was injured.

Btw I've called him/her muffin because I've put it in a McVities muffin box.



Don't think he will last much longer with the pdsa guy than with my hammer but it makes her feel better and may be able to get my leg over by the weekend?


Bloody pigeon.
 
D

DurhamSparky

obviously your cat is clever not stupid... it saw the diseases the bird has and backed off...!! good cat...!

nearly as good as my cat bringing back a birds carcas and trying to claim that she killed it!!
 

RogertheBodger

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Hi Paul, Feel for you mate but you can't win that one, give it up.
Is your new pet actually looking through the hole in that box? for the cat?.
 

Archy Styrigg

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Flush it down the bog! It's just a flying rat, scum of the earth, pigeons.
My cats brought a half dead bird home the other day, kept throwing it out but they just kept bringing it back.
Went in the bin in the end.
 

needasparks

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Think some pigeons are meant to get caught, I ran one over reversing my transit up an alley.
Now either that was some driving, a forest gump of the avian kind or he threw himself under the wheels as he could take no more of me trying to reverse said transit up the alley.
 

telectrix

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sod the pigeon. get the vet to check the cat/wife for communicable diseases. pigeons are as bad as rats.
 
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Paul.M

Paul.M

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The cat has ragged it about so odds on it will be hurt. Probably kinder to wring it's neck while your wife isn't looking Paul
I was thinking more along the lines of tapping into the tails Henley block with some 10mm t+e and L to N temple to temple. Is there any regs on the impedance of a pigeons skull?

A lump hammer is sooooo much quicker for me but a mess for her to clean up.
 
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DurhamSparky

put it outside...!! then forget about it and let the cat out...! turn TV up as the squarks and screams begin!!
 
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1shortcircuit

Paul when I worked in the motor trade we had an injured pigeon seek refuge in the rafters of our building. Noticed it was dropping food??? Turned out the we could see a gaping hole in it's stomach.

I phoned the RSPCA and they asked if we could bring it in because they don't come about for pigeons. I was gobsmacked and explained that if I am to take it anywhere it will most definitely be dead and end up in the ground... They sent someone out but it did take them all day and they said that it would going to the place in the sky. Thought that was odd considering that's where they normally are anyway isn't it?

At least you have your beer, cigs and of course the beloved forum. What more does a man need? lol
 

telectrix

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suggestion. get one of the kids to take the flying rat upstairs, open bedroom window. then you shout " PULL"
 

kingeri

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Hopefully not the cat! I'm more of a dog man, but cats certainly outrank pigeons. Pigeons are ok as long as they stay away from me.
 

Marvo

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I've checked its legs
I've heard that one before!!

I would put it out of its misery if it's suffering or injured to the point where it can't fly. If you're already in the dog-box with the missus I don't see you have anything to lose.
 
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Paul.M

Paul.M

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Well the pdsa chap didn't come around to pick it up last night, he called us and said to leave it in the box outside the front door to be picked up today. What a carry on for a half dead pigeon.


Alarmman I know you was joking mate ;).
 
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