Uheat Joke Friday - Happy Friday Everyone

Happy New Year everybody. Our Joke Friday for 2022 thread starts here! Leave your jokes and replies below, we will be replying to this every Friday with new jokes!

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[telectrix]

what do you say to an apprentice with 2 black eyes?

nothing, you've already told him twice.

 

[littlespark]

A young lad asked his mum where poo came from.
After a hesitation, she decided to explain, as best she could, how the food the boy eats is broken down by acids… it’s journey through the stomach to the intestines…..

The little chap look horrified… then… in a small, hushed voice he asked…..

“And….. and Piglet?”

 

[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[Uheat - Jacob]

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[loz2754]

Thanks for the giggles, however my old eyes struggle to read the tiny font.

Please make it a bit bigger in future

 

[Uheat - Jacob]

Thanks for the giggles, however my old eyes struggle to read the tiny font.

Please make it a bit bigger in future

Shall do - no problem

 

[Moley]

Please make it a bit bigger in future

You sound just like my wife

 

[nicebutdim]

Thanks for the giggles, however my old eyes struggle to read the tiny font.

Please make it a bit bigger in future

Must be cut and pasted, appearing small on a phone screen, as it's larger than standard font on a laptop.

 

[telectrix]

old army colonel is reiterating his experiences in India to his grandson, call him John.

colonel: scariest experience i had was an attack by a Tiger.
John: What happened?
Colonel: He came out of the brush anf leapt at me, with a Roaarr.
John: What happened then?
Colonel: I shat myself>.
When the Tiger leapt?

Colonel: No. Just now , when I said Roaarr.