jackanory certs

[Deleted member 9648]

Currently doing an ensuite upgrade for a mate...(underfloor heat mat/digital shower etc) in a house built in 2004.
When I first fixed I did a bonding check...none visible on the gas but a 10mm left the DB in that direction and as the pipe entered the house behind kitchen units I reasoned it was just not visible..continuity showed 0,02 ohms...good enough for me.
Water though was a different story,stopcock readily accessible but no wire....continuity check....zilch. "Have you got a cert?" I asked.
Eventually tracked down it was an amtech cert completed by a local contractor whose vans I see regularly.....Main bonding...Cooper(!)...10mm ...gas and water ticked,just to prove the bonding wasnt a one off the main earth was also Cooper(!!)...16mm,and the supply tails were also apparently Cooper....25mm.
Looking at the alleged test results revealed 5 rings with end to end readings dutifully recorded...ring 1 L-L...0.3 ohms N-N....0.3 ohms E-E....O.3 ohms(!),odd as wired in 2.5/1.5...............Even more odd was the readings for each and every ring was exactly the same!........Amazing,they must have spent ages carefully making sure each ring had exactly the same cable legnth!!

Reminds me of the one I saw a while ago with RCD trip times recorded on the cert....despite the fact that there wasnt an RCD anywhere in the house...sheer genius!
God 'elp us....you just despair.

Anyone else come across any LOL certs ?

 

[Guest123]

Sounds like another that was tested whilst sat in the van!

 

[pennywise]

I have seen a complete 36 way TP-N board tested, 50ft away from the front of a vito before, tut tut.

 

[Deleted member 9648]

Sounds like another that was tested whilst sat in the van!

LOL....either that or in the pub...but you think they would show a bit more imagination than 5 rings with all conductors at 0.3 ohms!.....if you are going to fabricate it at least make a job of it!

 

[rocker]

Cooper! LOLACAUST!


They knew there was two of one of them........

 

[accordfire]

Currently doing an ensuite upgrade for a mate...(underfloor heat mat/digital shower etc) in a house built in 2004.
When I first fixed I did a bonding check...none visible on the gas but a 10mm left the DB in that direction and as the pipe entered the house behind kitchen units I reasoned it was just not visible..continuity showed 0,02 ohms...good enough for me.
Water though was a different story,stopcock readily accessible but no wire....continuity check....zilch. "Have you got a cert?" I asked.
Eventually tracked down it was an amtech cert completed by a local contractor whose vans I see regularly.....Main bonding...Cooper(!)...10mm ...gas and water ticked,just to prove the bonding wasnt a one off the main earth was also Cooper(!!)...16mm,and the supply tails were also apparently Cooper....25mm.
Looking at the alleged test results revealed 5 rings with end to end readings dutifully recorded...ring 1 L-L...0.3 ohms N-N....0.3 ohms E-E....O.3 ohms(!),odd as wired in 2.5/1.5...............Even more odd was the readings for each and every ring was exactly the same!........Amazing,they must have spent ages carefully making sure each ring had exactly the same cable legnth!!

Reminds me of the one I saw a while ago with RCD trip times recorded on the cert....despite the fact that there wasnt an RCD anywhere in the house...sheer genius!
God 'elp us....you just despair.

Anyone else come across any LOL certs ?

Ah - that cooper is a brilliant conductor, and so much more capable than copper - it's a magic type of material - when used for bonding, it magically jumps from gaas to waater and puts a big bubble round the house too.

Did have to chuckle recently, walked into a pub in town, along the road from a job we were on. Decent pub, not far from Victoria station, and really, by that point in the day, just wanted a pint, train home, good scrub and bed. That's my lot as far as heavy install goes these days lol!

Anyway, wandered in, got the drinks in, lads had found a table.

You can imagine us lot sat there - two tables along, two guys scratching their heads over a (red, you'll note) EIC. "What do I put in here?" says the one to the other - "I normally just stick in about 300 ohms for that - that's what I was told to put" says the other.....

Two seconds later - "what about this? What's a keeva anyway??"..... The other guy replies, and I sh*t you not "oh, well put 24 hours - they're open all night too. A keeva, oh I've no idea, but I know they don't have any amps there - I only saw little radios".

Understandably, we were wearing more beer than drinking - especially on standing up, one of the lads points out to us that the questions they were "answering" on the cert (which DID have a customer's name on it) were respectively Ze on the first page (with beer stain) and maximum demand on the second.

We did check outside for any evidence of a company van.......

Scary, huh?

 

[brucelee]

lol well i know how not to do it now cooper amazing havent learned about that
and its 300ohms now for ze no matter what well that makes it easier max demand is 24 hrs is that right nice one good to know and all rings have equal values no matter what cheers guys some very useful info there and i can just test form the van or at home sweet makes life a lot easier lol

 

[pennywise]

Must have signed the cert P. S. Staker

 

[Deleted member 9648]

LOL...Keeva....nice one,that has just reminded me of the site manager at a local school....a PIR had just been done by another contractor and it had failed....."What the bloody hell is a ZEES"? he enquired in my direction one afternoon when I was there doing a repair....."A ZEES"?..."I've no idea....why?" I answered.
"Well,our ZEES is faulty and we've got to put it right" he explained.............All became clear when the cert was produce and some high Zs readings had been picked up...........

Edit....P S Taker.....must remember that one!

 

[IQ Electrical]

It's pretty widespread, where deliberate fabrication is not the cause, pure ignorance is.

The amount of these 'moody certs' with scheme providers logo's on them shows that the system just doesn't work, these guys must have jobs earmarked for the annual assessment!

 

[accordfire]

It's pretty widespread, where deliberate fabrication is not the cause, pure ignorance is.

The amount of these 'moody certs' with scheme providers logo's on them shows that the system just doesn't work, these guys must have jobs earmarked for the annual assessment!

And I don't doubt half of them get a subbie in to do those ones too!

 

[IQ Electrical]

And I don't doubt half of them get a subbie in to do those ones too!

Quite likely!

 

[nickblake]

I did a periodic on a house for some one who was buying it,i dont always expect the reading to be exactly the same different meter temperature changes etc , but this one rang bells when i walked in , was down to have had a rewire house holder had a cert which she gave me , took a light switch off 3 core blue red white no CPC ,knowing full well that dates back to the early 60's ,new CDU split load with 2 main switches nice circuits didnt match cert , good tripping times on the RCD ,even thought it was just a main switch meter tails were down as 25mm ,16 mm twe installed main bone was down as 16mm it was 6 mm ,need i say more , the installation was in a poor condition and needed rewiring felt sorry fpor the house holder and buyer still thats life eh

 

[ian.settle1]

Currently doing an ensuite upgrade for a mate...(underfloor heat mat/digital shower etc) in a house built in 2004.
When I first fixed I did a bonding check...none visible on the gas but a 10mm left the DB in that direction and as the pipe entered the house behind kitchen units I reasoned it was just not visible..continuity showed 0,02 ohms...good enough for me.
Water though was a different story,stopcock readily accessible but no wire....continuity check....zilch. "Have you got a cert?" I asked.
Eventually tracked down it was an amtech cert completed by a local contractor whose vans I see regularly.....Main bonding...Cooper(!)...10mm ...gas and water ticked,just to prove the bonding wasnt a one off the main earth was also Cooper(!!)...16mm,and the supply tails were also apparently Cooper....25mm.
Looking at the alleged test results revealed 5 rings with end to end readings dutifully recorded...ring 1 L-L...0.3 ohms N-N....0.3 ohms E-E....O.3 ohms(!),odd as wired in 2.5/1.5...............Even more odd was the readings for each and every ring was exactly the same!........Amazing,they must have spent ages carefully making sure each ring had exactly the same cable legnth!!

Reminds me of the one I saw a while ago with RCD trip times recorded on the cert....despite the fact that there wasnt an RCD anywhere in the house...sheer genius!
God 'elp us....you just despair.

Anyone else come across any LOL certs ?

Are you casting aspertions on the persons competancy who carried out the testing by any chance?

 

[SirKit Breaker]

Currently doing an ensuite upgrade for a mate...(underfloor heat mat/digital shower etc) in a house built in 2004.
When I first fixed I did a bonding check...none visible on the gas but a 10mm left the DB in that direction and as the pipe entered the house behind kitchen units I reasoned it was just not visible..continuity showed 0,02 ohms...good enough for me.
Water though was a different story,stopcock readily accessible but no wire....continuity check....zilch. "Have you got a cert?" I asked.
Eventually tracked down it was an amtech cert completed by a local contractor whose vans I see regularly.....Main bonding...Cooper(!)...10mm ...gas and water ticked,just to prove the bonding wasnt a one off the main earth was also Cooper(!!)...16mm,and the supply tails were also apparently Cooper....25mm.
Looking at the alleged test results revealed 5 rings with end to end readings dutifully recorded...ring 1 L-L...0.3 ohms N-N....0.3 ohms E-E....O.3 ohms(!),odd as wired in 2.5/1.5...............Even more odd was the readings for each and every ring was exactly the same!........Amazing,they must have spent ages carefully making sure each ring had exactly the same cable legnth!!

Reminds me of the one I saw a while ago with RCD trip times recorded on the cert....despite the fact that there wasnt an RCD anywhere in the house...sheer genius!
God 'elp us....you just despair.

Anyone else come across any LOL certs ?

Regular occurrence, that is if there are any certs at all. Very popular on a new estate near me built by a very large homebuilder. i have seen identical certs for identical houses, just a different address!

 

[Deleted member 9648]

Are you casting aspertions on the persons competancy who carried out the testing by any chance?

What...me?.....a dastardly slur on my good nature.....as if I would.

Thanks for the stories Guys.....entertaining stuff.

 

[Jimmyb]

I had one last week, customer had the csu changed last year and now wanting some extra wiring due to building an extenson. I turned up to find a 10 way board which was full, asked for ceftificate while i pop cover to see if any mcb's where used as spares as nothing was lable, found two rings into one mcb, a ring and the garage csu into another maybe a spur i suppose and the best one was 32a for water heater on 2.5mm was fused down at tank.
Then saw the certficate to find ins res. with a n/a on every circuit, n/a for rcd tests, no ring end to end results and zs values all either 0.3 or 0.8