A new jokes thread for your amusement.

[specs]

An RAF Group Captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff ....



Whilst waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Group Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled.



He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure"



· A Wing Commander chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.

· A Squadron Leader said it was 50-50%.

· A Flight Lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.



There being no consensus, the Group Captain turned to the young Corporal who was in charge of making the coffee. What the Group Captain wondered was his opinion?



Without any hesitation, the young Corporal responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."



The Group Captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked "And, why exactly would that be the case?"



The young Corporal replied, "Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."



The room fell silent.



May God Bless the lower ranks.

 

[specs]

Ultimate Workers Fail Compilation 2013 || Uniformedia - YouTube

 

[specs]

been waiting for this

 

[specs]

Hello Specs, this is Mrs. M and my reply:-


Paul M has been on top of me many of times in bed whilst I inspect the ceiling, I have never moaned yet????

Paul M for one week of the month has the strongest wrists in the land????

Paul M in bed is not that bad but my sisters says he is great????



Paul M, how the hell has he became a Mod? I'm great-full, he spends more time with you lot these days than he does with me thank God!


Mrs. M :rofl:

and you live where ???

 

[specs]

damn lights

 

[specs]

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

 

[jaypp]

There was a knock at the door last night, answered it and there was a 6 foot cockroach stood there. Before I had a chance to say anything and for no apparent reason, it punched me in the face. I just found out that 'there is a nasty bug going about at the mo'!

 

[dan86]

I was having sex with a bird last night when she said, "Do you think I'm tight?"

"Yes." I panted, "You're the tightest I've ever had."

"You really think so?" She gushed.

"Yes." I replied, "None of the other women I've been with wore Primark knickers."

 

[trev]

I was having sex with a bird last night when she said, "Do you think I'm tight?"

"Yes." I panted, "You're the tightest I've ever had."

"You really think so?" She gushed.

"Yes." I replied, "None of the other women I've been with wore Primark knickers."

Rob sent me that one too

 

[dan86]

Who the bloody hell is Rob? !