Fresh meat needed

[dcelectrical]

Evening all, I am looking for an inexperienced young boy to abuse for the next 4 years, I'm a pretty crap sparks(I learned my craft from some old fella with grey hair who used to turn on the circuit when you weren't looking to teach you the value of testing) but I know where the dirtiest nastiest cafes are in London. I used to have a sense of humour but a few 100 parking tickets later and I am a miserable sod and I am not even going to start talking about my knees, anyhow I am looking for a strong young boy to carry my tools, but be warned if you tell me that you are "just raiding a village and will bring me the spotlight in a minute" I will do to you what I did to the last apprentice the same day he left! anyone who is stupid enough to apply should be able to make a decent brew be in possession of a passport and a NI number and most importantly a sense of humour and a really thick skin.

Oh, and ideal candidate isn't allowed to smoke and if he is tee total that would be a bonus

and there is two 7 o'clocks in every day.

 

[NDG Elecs]

Evening all, I am looking for an inexperienced young boy to abuse for the next 4 years, I'm a pretty crap sparks(I learned my craft from some old fella with grey hair who used to turn on the circuit when you weren't looking to teach you the value of testing) but I know where the dirtiest nastiest cafes are in London. I used to have a sense of humour but a few 100 parking tickets later and I am a miserable sod and I am not even going to start talking about my knees, anyhow I am looking for a strong young boy to carry my tools, but be warned if you tell me that you are "just raiding a village and will bring me the spotlight in a minute" I will do to you what I did to the last apprentice the same day he left! anyone who is stupid enough to apply should be able to make a decent brew be in possession of a passport and a NI number and most importantly a sense of humour and a really thick skin.

Oh, and ideal candidate isn't allowed to smoke and if he is tee total that would be a bonus

and there is two 7 o'clocks in every day.

You are really selling the job DC! Good luck!

 

[Geordie Spark]

Evening all, I am looking for an inexperienced young boy to abuse for the next 4 years, I'm a pretty crap sparks(I learned my craft from some old fella with grey hair who used to turn on the circuit when you weren't looking to teach you the value of testing) but I know where the dirtiest nastiest cafes are in London. I used to have a sense of humour but a few 100 parking tickets later and I am a miserable sod and I am not even going to start talking about my knees, anyhow I am looking for a strong young boy to carry my tools, but be warned if you tell me that you are "just raiding a village and will bring me the spotlight in a minute" I will do to you what I did to the last apprentice the same day he left! anyone who is stupid enough to apply should be able to make a decent brew be in possession of a passport and a NI number and most importantly a sense of humour and a really thick skin.

Oh, and ideal candidate isn't allowed to smoke and if he is tee total that would be a bonus

and there is two 7 o'clocks in every day.

And this year's Employer of the Year Award goes to ............ :clap:

 

[Dan]

Did anybody actually get the job?

 

[Leesparkykent]

Brilliant OP though.

 

[dcelectrical]

So, to update further, there is a candidate for this position, who is suitable, I spoke to the local college and despite them sending me at least 60 CV's including someone who actually said he wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up! I managed to find a motivated young man who doesn't smoke or drink and although not academic appears to be a good prospect, he has passed the humour test and had even text me the day before his first day to ask where and when we were meeting and if his choice of clothing was appropriate, my original post was mixed with humour and sarcasm as we are on apprentice no 12 I think, 2 of which have finished and are proper sparkies in their own right and 1 who is training to be a plumber, I actually enjoy passing on the info I have as, if we don't tell the young ones coming through how to repair things the skills we have will die with us....

 

[dcelectrical]

well, he is still alive - he knows how to use side cutters to terminate T&E we have had him terminating cat 6 into a patch panel(27 out of 28 were perfect 1 needed re kroning) he knows that if you stand on a 8w lamp in an emergency fitting it makes a mess, I noticed the other day when I was making off an intercom panel that he had opened the toolbox and had taken a knife and was removing the excess tape from on the rods we had been using earlier in the day(without me asking) so overall quite impressed so far..

 

[freddo]

Cool! Can I have him? Our new one just asks how long is this going to take and when is home time. He has 2 gears, work = slow as, and home time = speedy gonzales. There was a glimmer of hope last week but it's gone now, which is a shame as we have been working in some awesome properties and are currently installing a load of larger gear including 300A submains, which should be more interesting than learning how to wire a pendant at college! Oh well ,at least I'm enjoying it...

 

[7029 dave]

Evening all, I am looking for an inexperienced young boy to abuse for the next 4 years, I'm a pretty crap sparks(I learned my craft from some old fella with grey hair who used to turn on the circuit when you weren't looking to teach you the value of testing) but I know where the dirtiest nastiest cafes are in London. I used to have a sense of humour but a few 100 parking tickets later and I am a miserable sod and I am not even going to start talking about my knees, anyhow I am looking for a strong young boy to carry my tools, but be warned if you tell me that you are "just raiding a village and will bring me the spotlight in a minute" I will do to you what I did to the last apprentice the same day he left! anyone who is stupid enough to apply should be able to make a decent brew be in possession of a passport and a NI number and most importantly a sense of humour and a really thick skin.

Oh, and ideal candidate isn't allowed to smoke and if he is tee total that would be a bonus

and there is two 7 o'clocks in every day.

OHH go on then I will work for you, £350 a day.