when I were a lad! apprenticeship stories

[RichardMoore]

We've all got a standout stories to tell when we served our time from blowing up a pair of snips to sleeping with the bosses daughter. what your story? One I always remember is I was only 16 and starting out. The spark who I was working with asked me to go check if there was any bonding in the bathroom so when a started looking and I was almost straight away confronted with only what can describe as a floater. I had fallen for the first of many practical jokes. Haha u pri-ck. so what golden stories do u have?????

 

[Pete999]

1964 Steele conduit job, Tallow, threading swarff 16 year old virgin, (yes there were some about in those days) hairy arsed Sparkys out to "get the kid" trousers down quick, spread the Tallow and swarff around my tackle, Mun not please end of.

 

[MDJ]

When I were a lad we used to solder lugs onto cables, I never saw a crimper and one of my duties was to clean the tools of the spark I was being trained by, to go up the shop 3 times a day for him and to make sure the van was kept spotless. If his tools or van was not up to expectations he would give me a severe Rollocking. These days the apprentice won't even make the tea.

 

[Kamikaze]

Part of our duties at the hospital was to clean out the extractor fan ducting’s at the secure mental unit. I was on the outside up a scaffolding gingerly working away when a couple of the men with white coats dragged one of the patience into the padded cell. He was proper going for it. Head butting the reinforced glass window for what seemed like a lifetime. There was blood everywhere but he didn't appear to be in pain. Out of curiosity, when he finally settled down I asked him through the ducting; “Doesn’t it hurt when you do that?” To which he replied; “ Yes, but it’s a wonderful feeling once you stop.”


Another one….lol. Same ward! Got sent there to change a double socket in the corridor. The men in white coats escorted me to the offending item and watched my back while I replaced it. Got back to the works department and the gaffer said; “I though you were changing that socket at the secure unit?”
I said; “ Yeah, done that. Just got back from there.”
He said;” Well, here’s another one cause they just kicked the s**t out of it. This time make sure they don’t see you do it.”

 

[2na]

They once Cable tied me to a metal fence, one lead of the megger on my ear, then told me to sing, "I should be so lucky..." Whilst dabbing the fence with the other lead when it wasn't loud enough. Got my revenge though, undid all the bolts in their chairs in the lunchroom and sat there watching them sit down to eat their lunch and go flying. I cleaned the site toilets for a month after that!

 

[7029 dave]

I worked with a guy he was in his 60's in late 70's so post war,anyway he never used electric drills etc, it was all raw plug tool and hand drill& brazen bit for drilling through joist's, it was a night mare,had me sweeping and sheeting the loft before he would even get up there!!.BUT he knew his stuff. ps plus he always wore shirt and tie and silver bands on his arms (like bicycle clips) then overalls.

 

[Pete999]

Had a new lad on site, nice kid but the chippies really took the urine out of him, water bombing him when ever they had the chance, he came to me moaning about it I told him to get his own back, so one day the chief urine taker was taking a tom ---, so we filled a kettle with cold water put him quietly on some steps just as matey was doing the deed with the tissue the lad chucke the kettle full over him, didn't take the pee any more

 

[PEG]

Never received or handed out the antics of apprentice bashing,even years ago,always thought most of it was a tad close to bullying which i do not tolerate,BUT,did have a small part in an incident which ended with an ambulance....Young lad at a place i worked was getting brutalised by his peers,mainly one dude who always seemed to be winding up someone. I said to the lad,don't get mad,get even,so dinner time his protagonist is astride a swivel chair enjoying his beef and horseradish barmcake when he starts pulling and stretching at his lunch. I assumed the beef was a bit fatty and he continued pulling it to and fro from his clenched teeth until "SNAP",a rubbery item slapped him proper,right in the face. He proceeded to remove the rest of it from his lunch,which revealed the other half of a horseradish smeared condom. It looked REALLY bad. He then took 3 or 4 minutes to administer what now would be classed as a serious assault. That was 25 years ago and just the smell of horseradish always makes me wonder,was it all horseradish?

 

[bawall]

As an apprentice (served for the MOD in a proof and experimental site) one day whilst in the instrumentation lab / work shop I was gaffer tape'd to the chair and then it was put round my head and bare legs that hurt and it takes ages for eyebrows to grow back and another time I was grabbed and a length of 25mm conduit was threaded through my sleeves and I spent the best part of the afternoon hung between the shelves of two work benches

multiple megger attacks with the old wind up meggers. used to get a plastic tube that they supply IC chips in and run a length of T&E up the middle and strip it back and run the exposed cores spiralled round the tube strap on a megger and connect and chase whoever winding the handle

But the best one was to a clerical assistant who was working in her office when we all rushed in wearing full haz-mat suits sounding an alarm and firing a co2 extinguisher in her general direction I have never heard screams like it before or since

but now days you cant even ask the boy to get a right handed screwdriver or to give someone hand re-leaf with out getting in trouble

 

[jay sean]

I was ment to work on a saturday, the electrician and the foreman came to pick me up at 6am to work in London somewhere, I did not know what time it was (or even what day).
On the monday he said to me I was outside your house beeping the horn, everyone on your street woke up, where were you?


I said my bedroom was at the back of the house.

You only wake up late once, now it does not matter what time I need to be at work, I always get there early