Special comments

Andy78 · Oct 11, 2013

My brother just text me with the following:

Walked in on the wife with a bayonet bulb in her hand looking at the lamp. "I was going to put this in the bedside lamp but can you just check if it's the right one?" Was about to tell her that yes those lamps take a bayonet fitting when....."'cos I dont know if these are the hangy ones or standy-uppy ones, are they safe ?"

Led me to thinking about particularly "mouth before brain engaged" comments I have heard.

I once popped round to meet a mate on a job. He was making a bit extra fitting a laminate floor and skirting for a good customer of his. He was cutting with his mitre saw out in the back yard to avoid making a mess, but kept leaving his tape measure inside.
" I really need 2 tape measures the amount of times I have left it inside" he half joked.
The customer piped up "I've got one you can have, but I'm not sure it measures the same as your professional one." She scurried off to find it.
"Should do" said my mate. "Usually most of them measure in inches and centimetres."
"This ones no good then" she said looking at the label on her tape measure in dismay. "Mine is in yards and metres."

Anyone got any stories of ****witted customers or workmates ?

Guest111 · Oct 11, 2013

My uncle is a very well educated man,he was the senior engineer in charge of R&D for a well known major supplier of gas cookers,he can give you the answer to any equation while you're still looking at it,as I said he's a very clever man.Anyway one day he decides to decorate his house,and to make it easier removes a socket off the wall,he turns up at our house later on wanting to know how come his wife had got a shock off the wires sticking out of the wall.Did you turn the power off before removing the socket I asked do you think I'm thick came the reply,at which point he pulled the offending socket from his coat pocket,look the switch is clearly in the off position!As I said a very clever man in his own field,he just lacks common sense.

thomas-1981 · Oct 11, 2013

Called out to a house as the kitchen light wasn't working. I asked over the phone "any other lights not working?" No was the answer, "did you try replacing the lamp?" Yes was the answer. So went out, as I pulled a lamp out of my jacket pocket the gentleman of the house said to me "do you think I'm stupid, I tried the lamp" proceeded to change the lamp and surprise surprise the light worked. He quickly scuttled off.

edrobbo8 · Oct 13, 2013

Was in Electricfix car park flicking through the catalogue getting the part numbers (as our branch is full of kno8heads and non tradesmen looking for advice), when an old boy comes up to the van and says can I ask your advice? Yep I say, what's the problem?

He said, I need to extend a socket and I've got a friend who is a sparky (oh yeah) coming to do it but I have to get the materials. Problem is, I just bought some cable from here, took it home, and the stuff at home has red, urrrrr, black, and urrrrrr green.

The new stuff they flogged me is brown, urrrrr blue and green, but is the same size. Why have they sold me different colour cable? Is it safe for a socket? I don't know how to connect it he said.

I said sorry chap you've just given the game away there, closed my van and walked into the tradesmen bit!!!

Adam W · Oct 13, 2013

Andy78 said:
My brother just text me with the following:

Walked in on the wife with a bayonet bulb in her hand looking at the lamp. "I was going to put this in the bedside lamp but can you just check if it's the right one?" Was about to tell her that yes those lamps take a bayonet fitting when....."'cos I dont know if these are the hangy ones or standy-uppy ones, are they safe ?"

GLS bulbs are meant to be 'hung', candle bulbs are the "standy-uppy ones". It's to do with the way heat circulates around the bulb. Also when the element breaks in a GLS bulb it's better for it to fall inside the bulb rather than falling back on itself and shorting out the contact wires.
Golf ball bulbs can go either way.