to those of you who number 2 in portaloo

[elsparko]

STOP IT.

 

[Rpa07]

I used a local B+Q today after I’d finished at a job. Satisfying AND they sold me £7 of items so Win Win!
@elsparko - recline in the couch and tell us about your childhood!

 

[Strima]

What else is a turdis for?

 

[elsparko]

number 1s only, who wants to empty their bowels on a plastic throne anyway? heathens!

 

[Rpa07]

What brought this on? Did you fall in one and hope for just septic fluid but got a ‘cuban’ for your trouble?

 

[Squid]

number 1s only, who wants to empty their bowels on a plastic throne anyway? heathens!

You've never experienced Glastonbury have you.........

 

[Squid]

lol

 

[elsparko]

it reeks, and the ---- just piles up on the flap till someone jetwashes it off

 

[Rpa07]

And why are you just mentioning this now - we all knew it years ago! Have you been living in a cave albeit with modern plumbing!?

 

[elsparko]

And why are you just mentioning this now - we all knew it years ago! Have you been living in a cave albeit with modern plumbing!?

because of the state of the portaloo i visited today, heres a fun fact, when you smell a fart you actually have particles of poop in your airway

 

[Squid]

because of the state of the portaloo i visited today, heres a fun fact, when you smell a fart you actually have particles of poop in your airway

You need a good rodding from a plumber, they'll be queueing up....

 

[KEV 1 N]

When you gotta go....you gotta go!

On a site years ago, one of the lads refused to go in the portaloo and drove home to have a carp! A 20 minute journey (must have been touching cloth when got home)

On another site I used to go to the hospital toilets in disguise! (removed hard hat and high viz first)

 

[Squid]

Okay I have to admit to something here 1986 Friday lunch time pay day on a building site on London Wall we spent two hours in the pub *cough I was slightly inebriated and did eat my cheese salad torpedo with onions and mayo sat in the site loo trying to sober up before I went back to work, luckily they where clean, also first job after doing my time lol

 

[Leesparkykent]

I hate thunder boxes

 

[7029 dave]

Listen, when you have to go,you have to go.!! All part of being human.!

 

[Risteard]

You've never experienced Glastonbury have you.........

Or Witnness/Oxegen festival (the Irish version)...

 

[ruston]

Or worked on a pipeline.

 

[elsparko]

no, from now on if you need to dump, u use a porcelain throne.

if you need to dump because of illness, do it in your own personal bucket and keep it in your van out of sight

 

[telectrix]

Oh ye of such little imagination. if you need a poo, do it in the plumber's sandwich box. added benefit is he''ll break for lunch but still think he's working.

 

[KEV 1 N]

no, from now on if you need to dump, u use a porcelain throne.

if you need to dump because of illness, do it in your own personal bucket and keep it in your van out of sight

Yes....it’s always best to have TWO hard hats!

 

[static zap]

Nothing nicer than an outdoor no 2 ....
( less people looking for something that's died indoors )
( Egg fried rice and cheap chicken ... don't agree with me )

 

[Des 56]

duplicate

 

[elsparko]

bag it in sandwich bags and take it home if you must take a numero deux whilst at work

those "sinks" in the portajohns are also laughable.

 

[PEG]

Oh yeah,when i have 200 miles to drive home,from a show,event or similar,and i have already consumed my copious supplies,and added much expensive hipster craft fast-food to that input,then,find myself hatching the devil's foul load...I'm gonna NOT use a portaloo?...because a forum member asked nicely?

(I predict more flap-ornamentation)

 

[static zap]

Sounds like another product opportunity,
forget V I P Poo , Flap lube .. so no prodding is required .
( wet tissue seems to help - If your a bit OCD )

 

[Chris86]

I was helping my old man board and skim some barn conversions a few years back. The porta loo on site was fixed down to a fairly hefty pallet.

If the ground workers spotted anyone using it for a number 2, a bungee strap was fixed around the door and the loo was lifted by forklift and dumped in the middle of the adjoining field. The size of the recently transported bloke inside decided how fast the ground workers ran off when the strap was released. Childish I know but it kept us entertained for weeks!

 

[Squid]

Listen, when you have to go,you have to go.!! All part of being human.!

Tell that to my neighbour Rob you has the house on the corner as he nearly caught the QPR fan doing a dump in his front garden behind the hedge and no it wasn't in the shape of a Super Hoop but a Super Poop.

 

[Tes369]

Sometimes it just sits on that shelf and no matter how much pumping won't shift it nice surprise for the next guy.

 

[David M]

when you smell a fart you actually have particles of poop in your airway

Now this will get me started! My pet hate is when somebody farts and you are there breathing it in. Its just foul, disgusting and very inconsiderate! I don't want to ingest somebody elses bowel contents!

If you need to let off, do it in private!!!!!

 

[billyblade]

My first experience of a festival portaloo was at the Reading festival some years ago. I wondered why everyone was laughing at me as I walked to the loo following my usual morning ablution routine - newspaper under one arm, loo roll under the other.
I quickly realised the newspaper was redundant as you don't want to spend any more time in there than you absolutely have to. One of them I opened the door up had a pile that was a good foot above the seat. I mean, how do you do that? They must have squatted with one foot either side of the saddle!

 

[Squid]

Now this will get me started! My pet hate is when somebody farts and you are there breathing it in. Its just foul, disgusting and very inconsiderate! I don't want to ingest somebody elses bowel contents!

If you need to let off, do it in private!!!!!

You've never worked on a "proper" building site have you, those bacon and egg rolls really get you "primed" up.

 

[Tes369]

It's the beans that get you primed up....

 

[elsparko]

and the "use than by 7 or fewer persons per 40 hour work week", usually about 20 folk kicking about and its not cleaned out till every 2 weeks, or whenever someone can be bothered

i save my number 2s for my own throne, or at the very least a porcelain one

 

[ruston]

You lot are lucky . You have never seen any thing till you have seen the old 'Elsan pail' toilets . They were so bad even the flies boycotted them.

 

[KEV 1 N]

In days of old, when knights were bold,
And toilets weren’t invented,
They dug a pit and had a sh*t,
And went away contented.

 

[KEV 1 N]

Can’t believe we’re now on 3 pages of talking shyte!

 

[ruston]

I'm on the turd page too now.

 

[Des 56]

Old style building sites, porta bog with wooden seat

You may have smiled with satisfaction because it has one
That is until the crabs that you catch wipe the smile off your face

 

[ruston]

With the holes drilled in the door and feet sticking out the gap in the bottom , and newspaper bog paper on a fencing wire hook. Real class.

 

[PEG]

You lot are lucky . You have never seen any thing till you have seen the old 'Elsan pail' toilets . They were so bad even the flies boycotted them.

Some of those old navvy operators,if the weather was bad,used to crap in the back of the superstructure,aiming roughly for the slew gear...

A great and welcome treat,for any fitter attending to slew bearings,in the depth of winter