Discuss CK Tools Giveaway - Tell us what your most essential tool is to enter in the Electrical Forum area at ElectriciansForums.net

Electrical2go

Official Sponsor
Messages
129
Location
UK


We are giving away a set of
CK Tools - Triton XLS Screwdrivers

worth £20.00

For your chance to win, simply comment on this thread with Your favourite Sparky joke. (Keep it clean-ish)

The professional quality Triton XLS Screwdriver is designed with tip type marking for easy identification, a large soft grip tri-lobe handle for exceptional comfort and high torque turns. The handle is injection moulded directly to blade giving the ultimate bond for increased reliability and durability. Anti roll flats to prevent the screwdriver rolling off sloping surfaces. The blade is manufactured from a toughened alloy steel for excellent durability and precision machined tips to reduce the risk of tip breakage.

The winner will be announced on 10th May.
(Please note: this competition is also running on both facebook and Twitter too,
so add more than one joke for extra chances to win).
(UK entries Only)
After we announce the result, if the winner does not respond within 5 days, another winner shall be chosen.
 

Barnaby Stedman

Regular EF Member
Messages
183
Location
England
A chemist, a biologist and an electrician were on death row waiting to go in the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first. “Do you have anything you want to say?” asked the executioner, strapping him in ”No,” replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and nothing happened. Under State law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released. Then the biologist was brought forward. “Do you have anything you want to say?” “No, just get on with it.” The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released. Then the electrician was brought forward. “Do you have anything you want to say?” asked the executioner. “Yes,” replied the engineer. “If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work.”
 

NDG Elecs

Electrician's Arms
Messages
1,899
Location
Tyne and Wear
Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm....he couldn't resistor...!
 

telectrix

Scouser and Proud.
Respected Member
Messages
60,336
Location
cheshire/staffordshire
bus full of elderly ladies on a trip breaks down.....
driver opens the bonnet to see if he can fix it.....
one old dear gets off the bus and asks him.....
" do you want a screw driver".....

"wait till i've fixed the bus" he replies.
 

Rpa07

4000 posts - only 54195 behind Telectrix!
Electrician's Arms
Messages
4,204
Location
Bristol
Still the old favourite that @telectrix tells every 3 days
“It’s Red to Red, Black to Black and Blew to bits”
BOOM BOOM!
 

Dustydazzler

Regular EF Member
Messages
1,035
Location
Surrey
I can't get these 2 things out of my head now trying to think of something funny...

the chuckle bros 'to me to you' and the scene from only fools and horses when the drop the chandelier
 

Rpa07

4000 posts - only 54195 behind Telectrix!
Electrician's Arms
Messages
4,204
Location
Bristol
The chandelier scene always gets a link on a thread when anyone ever mentions a luminaire bigger than a 9” pendant. Still hilarious though!
 

Rpa07

4000 posts - only 54195 behind Telectrix!
Electrician's Arms
Messages
4,204
Location
Bristol
How many electricians does it take to change a bulb?
None! That’s a gardeners job!
Bulbs grow in the effin ground!!
If it didn’t sound so angry Charlie, I think that would be the winner!
 

Charlie_

Electrician's Arms
Messages
2,098
Location
Doncaster & Isle of Man
If it didn’t sound so angry Charlie, I think that would be the winner!
I just made that joke up all by myself.

Haha I was trying to replicate the feelings that most sparkies show when replying to the dreaded bulb scenario..
My first idea was the sketch from life of Brian when the question is asked about the people’s front of Judea but that would have been even more angry :)
 

SWD

Gender neutral
Electrician's Arms
Messages
5,829
Location
London
Just send them to Pete999 addressed to his wife the biggest laugh will be him trying to explain that he didn't buy any tools, stick in a fake invoice for £99 as well.
 

NDG Elecs

Electrician's Arms
Messages
1,899
Location
Tyne and Wear
Electricians Jokes; I know two that pretty much always make me laugh....

1. Builders

2. Plasterers
 

PEG

Respected Member
Messages
4,873
Location
Manchester
A plumber,a plasterer and a spark,go for the same fancy job...
At the interview,they are each given two ball-bearing balls,and told to come back,the day after,with something useful and innovative,they have designed and made,themselves.

The next day,they all turn up.....the plumber presents his offering ..."i have soldered them to the end of these rods,and can use them as a hole punch,on gaskets..."

The plasterer,shows his offering..."i have glued wires to them,and made a swinging ball, desk ornament,called Newton's cradle..."

Impressed,the interviewer turns to the spark,and asks "and what have you done with yours?"


...spark grins,and says "i lost one,and broke the other......"
 

Charlie_

Electrician's Arms
Messages
2,098
Location
Doncaster & Isle of Man
A plumber, a plasterer and an electrician walk into a pub together..

Oh yeah, as if!

Or

A plumber, a plasterer and a diyer walk into a pub..
The electrician walks out..
 

Sintra

The Innkeeper
Staff member
Admin
Messages
11,968
Location
Belfast/London
What is an electrician’s favourite ice cream flavour?

Shock-o-lot

What is another name for an electrical apprentice?

Shock absorber
 
OP
Electrical2go

Electrical2go

Official Sponsor
Messages
129
Location
UK
What is the question ?
Hi there, either tell us your most essential electrician's tool you can't live without or tell us your favourite Sparky joke - Good luck
 

telectrix

Scouser and Proud.
Respected Member
Messages
60,336
Location
cheshire/staffordshire
an electrician, a plumber, and a lawyer are shipwrecked and in a sinking dinghy.sharks are circling, when the electrician falls off.he is immediately eaten by the sharks,

next day, due to a severe leak in the dinghy that the plumber could not fix, as he'd left his push-fits on the ship, he sinks under the waves and is eaten by the sharks.

couple of days later, the lawyer, feeling all alone with noboddy to talk to/interrogate/ twist replies, dives overboard in a suicidal attempt.

the sharks all circle round and somehow leave him alone.

next day he's picked up by a passing cargo ship bound for Somalia with some young white slaves.

the "captain" of this sold barge wants to know why the sharks have not eaten the lawyer.

"professional courtesy" , says the lawyer.
 

westward10

In echoed steps I walk across an empty dream.
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
11,549
Location
Northamptonshire
Sparky, plumber and chippy stranded on a desert island with days to live when a genie pops up and grants them one wish.
Chippy wishes he was safe and back home and off he goes.
Sparky says the same thing and off he goes.
The plumber says he is now lonely and wants his two colleagues back with him.
 

Dustydazzler

Regular EF Member
Messages
1,035
Location
Surrey
Hi there, either tell us your most essential electrician's tool you can't live without or tell us your favourite Sparky joke - Good luck
Hi there, either tell us your most essential electrician's tool you can't live without or tell us your favourite Sparky joke - Good luck

Most essential tool is probably the new set of ck screwdrivers I hope to win :D
 

Dustydazzler

Regular EF Member
Messages
1,035
Location
Surrey
Hi there, either tell us your most essential electrician's tool you can't live without or tell us your favourite Sparky joke - Good luck
Hi there, either tell us your most essential electrician's tool you can't live without or tell us your favourite Sparky joke - Good luck

Most essential tool is probably the new set of ck screwdrivers I hope to win :D
 

SWD

Gender neutral
Electrician's Arms
Messages
5,829
Location
London
an electrician, a plumber, and a lawyer are shipwrecked and in a sinking dinghy.sharks are circling, when the electrician falls off.he is immediately eaten by the sharks,

next day, due to a severe leak in the dinghy that the plumber could not fix, as he'd left his push-fits on the ship, he sinks under the waves and is eaten by the sharks.

couple of days later, the lawyer, feeling all alone with noboddy to talk to/interrogate/ twist replies, dives overboard in a suicidal attempt.

the sharks all circle round and somehow leave him alone.

next day he's picked up by a passing cargo ship bound for Somalia with some young white slaves.

the "captain" of this sold barge wants to know why the sharks have not eaten the lawyer.

"professional courtesy" , says the lawyer.
I hope you are a better thief than a comedian Tel........
 

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