Coronavirus - Keeping it light :-)

[pc1966]

Forward to the past?

Or the glimpse in "a million ways to die in the west"?

 

[Mike Johnson]

Kermit was hampered on the quick draw by his webbed appendages.

 

[telectrix]

Kermit was hampered on the quick draw by his webbed appendages.

he should have purchased autocad.

 

[OnlQQker]

 

[Mike Johnson]

 

[OnlQQker]

Volume 1 of 10...

 

[OnlQQker]

 

[Spoon]

Teens are using lemon juice and TikTok hacks to fake positive Covid tests to miss school​

Teens are using lemon juice and TikTok hacks to fake positive Covid tests to miss school

Teenagers have been using TikTok to share hacks for faking positive Covid-19 tests in an effort to force their ‘bubbles’ to miss time at school.

www.lep.co.uk

This made me laugh.. Looks like they are learning science stuff after all.

 

[Dartlec]

Teens are using lemon juice and TikTok hacks to fake positive Covid tests to miss school​

Teens are using lemon juice and TikTok hacks to fake positive Covid tests to miss school

Teenagers have been using TikTok to share hacks for faking positive Covid-19 tests in an effort to force their ‘bubbles’ to miss time at school.

www.lep.co.uk

This made me laugh.. Looks like they are learning science stuff after all.

Orange juice also seems to work - though probably anything acidic may work as I think it just removes the layer on top of the marker.

Sounds like applied science to me!

Only works with lateral flow tests though, so only works for a short time until they have to take a PCR test.

 

[littlespark]

I was told pineapple juice from my neighbour…. Who works for Astra Zeneca.

ketchup, also I believe.

One thing that will inevitably give you a positive test is to spend Saturday night in a crowded pub, jumping up and down, hugging your mates, shouting “it’s coming home!”



ps. Good luck to England…. Not all Scotsmen are anti-English.

I mean, I speak to you lot on a daily basis.

 

[OnlQQker]

 

[OnlQQker]

Meanwhile...

 

[pc1966]

Meanwhile...

Ah yes, we should rely on the personal responsibility of the people, says the leader who has abandoned two wives and countless children...

 

[littlespark]

Ah yes, we should rely on the personal responsibility of the people, says the leader who has abandoned two wives and countless children...

They tried that at the beginning of the pandemic.... urging the public to follow the guidelines... It was the failure of that caused the lockdowns

Oh look.... Extra time! (sorry... watching the telly at the same time)

 

[OnlQQker]

I can't believe it, fifty five years I've waited and it's finally happened. They did it, they actually did it, I still can't believe it.







The council have filled the pothole in outside my house.

 

[brianmoooore]

It'll have washed out by the end of next week.

 

[littlespark]

It'll have washed out by the end of next week.

Same as the England team, then......

Is it an unpopular opinion to say that the rebounded penalty that won them the match shouldn't have been given as the goalie was distracted by a laser pen? Score would have been 1-1, and match decided on sudden death penalties.

 

[littlespark]

Photoshopped or real?

I lived in Dundee for a time…. It could be real…

Reminds me of when we lived there, and we saw a chippy named “tak a wa”
We thought it was a rough area, a couple of letters have dropped off

our mate said no…. That’s just how it’s pronounced

 

[Mike Johnson]

 

[Rockingit]

Photoshopped or real?

I lived in Dundee for a time…. It could be real…

View attachment 87801

Reminds me of when we lived there, and we saw a chippy named “tak a wa”
We thought it was a rough area, a couple of letters have dropped off

our mate said no…. That’s just how it’s pronounced

Several years ago - this made it to my Facebook status!

 

[OnlQQker]

 

[littlespark]

Arty daughter, the middle one asked if she could use fabric paints and draw on her old canvas trainers….

What she created could only be described as a masterpiece….

unfortunately not hers.

copied off some guy named van gogh

 

[telectrix]

I don't recall van gogh painting sprouts.

 

[littlespark]

Don’t you know the song, tel?

“Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and green
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul…..”

Darkness in my soul….. of course it’s about sprouts!


Actually, first time I ever heard that song was by Freddie Starr

 

[OnlQQker]

 

[littlespark]

Saw this and thought of you….

 

[telectrix]

 

[littlespark]

“Who you gonna call?”


oops. Wrong number!?

 

[OnlQQker]

 

[OnlQQker]

 

[littlespark]

I tried to join a Star Trek forum, but I couldn’t get past the Captcha….

 

[OnlQQker]

Meanwhile...

 

[pirate]

Just walking up the road, saw this lying open kids running about...

 

[pirate]

I have no idea...

 

[UNG]

It seems to be quite common that roadside cabinets are being broken open and in some cases ransacked in the last year or two

 

[pirate]

I saw the flexicon and thought Nick Bundy...but it's in Spain! Probably a control box for an ice cream maker...

 

[pirate]

and it certainly wasn't vandalised, just left open like that

 

[pirate]

that Lino Richie tho...
~
if he put silicone round the edges and tapped into place with his feet, he'd be dancing on the sealing...

 

[pirate]

 

[static zap]

@pirate "No wonder I never found it"
, If you curve that arrow into a beckoning finger,
it will lead you in the correct direction.

 

[OnlQQker]

 

[brianmoooore]

View attachment 88447

My childhood bedroom door wasn't far different from this!

 

[telectrix]

View attachment 88447

close door before pressing "Down" on the stairlift.

 

[littlespark]

For the person that stole my Windows Office software licence…..

I will look for you, and I will find you….. you have my Word!

 

[littlespark]

If "666" is the number of the beast, and is evil......

Does that make 25.807 the root of all evil?

 

[littlespark]

Wish me luck on my new business venture.
I bought 51% of a vampire hunting company.

That makes me the main stake holder

 

[DPG]

Wish me luck on my new business venture.
I bought 51% of a vampire hunting company.

That makes me the main stake holder

Must be a departure from the British Standard comedy regulations that.

 

[littlespark]

Copyright dadjokes.com

 

[telectrix]

my lady's granson's G/F has just received her A level results. 2 A'a and a A+. so good we recommended her for the advancing courses. ........ washing, cooking, cleaning, ironing.

 

[Phil L]