Great Quotes...............

[Nigel]

Let’s try and lighten the mood a bit. Please add your favourite quotes.

Must add whom orginally said it.

“Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosy does not try it on as a hat”

Billy Connolly.

 

[Andy78]

"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit"

Oscar Wilde

 

[SJD]

“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

Oscar Wilde again.

 

[Baddegg]

“Me fail English! That’s unpossible!”

Ralph wiggum

 

[Bobster]

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein

 

[Ian1981]

Jack Nicholson/The Joker in Batman
Never rub another mans rhubarb
Does that count?

 

[Pete999]

"I will find you and I will kill" you Liam whats his face

 

[ruston]

If you're going through hell, keep going.

Winston Churchill.

 

[Ian1981]

There’s a joke there somewhere Pete

 

[telectrix]

 

[telectrix]

" It was a woman that drove me to drink, but I've not got round to thanking her"

W.C. Fields.

 

[Pete999]

There’s a joke there somewhere Pete

Think I know where you are coming from Ian, he has been a naughty Boy hasn't he, good job Mr T aint about.

 

[telectrix]

again from Churchill:

 

[GBDamo]

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Mark Twain

 

[Baddegg]

The trouble with the world is the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence

Charles bukowski

 

[GBDamo]

"your average american is pretty stupid, just remember 50% are more stupid still"

Bill Ritter, an old Texan friend.

 

[Baddegg]

The more time I spend with people the more I like my dog
Mark Twain

 

[ruston]

And another from Winnie. This is for @Starjack .

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

 

[telectrix]

I serve 3 types of meal..... frozen, microwave, and takeaway.

Mrs . Tel. last night when I asked what was for dinner.

 

[Rpa07]

‘To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.’
Lady Bracknell - The importance of being Ernest.

 

[GBDamo]

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

Mark Twain

 

[telectrix]

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
-Marilyn Monroe

 

[GBDamo]

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”


“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

Mark Twain,

I Like Mark Twain

 

[telectrix]

“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it.”

-Salvador Dali

 

[Silly Sausage]

Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. It'll just knock over all the pieces, ---- on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.

 

[westward10]

Old age is a lonely island surrounded by the waters of death.

Me

 

[Leesparkykent]

The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bulls**t reason as to why you can’t achieve it.

Jordan Belfort....wolf of Wall Street lol

 

[Wilko]

Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. It'll just knock over all the pieces, **** on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.

The version of this I was schooled in -
Never wrestle with a pig, you get covered in sh1te and the pig enjoys it ... I heard it from my Dad, who probably learned it first hand.

 

[littlespark]

“We came, we saw... we kicked it’s ---!”

Peter Venkman

 

[The Ghost]

A wise man knows a hippopotamus can't sting but he would still rather be sat upon by a bee.
Banacek

 

[telectrix]

“The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking.”

-Albert Einstein

 

[Sintra]

Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack.

Frank Sinatra

 

[littlespark]

“Stop that, or you’ll go blind!”

My mum

 

[westward10]

To avoid disappointment have no expectations.

Me, again.

 

[Wilko]

To avoid disappointment have no expectations.

Me, again.

Have you stopped taking those happy pills or something .

 

[Nigel]

If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a wall. It will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.

Albert Einstein.

 

[Midwest]

I have a couple of favourites.

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

Nelson Mandela

 

[Midwest]

Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal.

John F. Kennedy

 

[Midwest]

And on a lighter note;

When I said I was going to become a comedian, they all laughed. Well, they're not laughing now, are they?

Bob Monkhouse.

 

[Gavin John Hyde]

Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return
Leonardo DaVinci