Great Quotes...............

[rapparee]

@FLICK @Starjack

 

[Squid]

£1500 for two sockets, you havin a giraffe, that's the going rate, okay I accept..........

 

[Kamikaze]

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Donald Trump

 

[plugsandsparks]

Never eat yellow snow

Franz Klammer

 

[Pete999]

Was God an Astronaut?
Erich Von Daniken

 

[pirate]

"Sorry guys, I know you've gone to a lot of trouble, but frankly, I just don't like veal."

The prodigal son.

 

[Baddegg]

This ones for flapjack

“You only get 1 chance to make a first impression” ha ha ha sorry flapjack.....

 

[electric al]

Income tax ???
Ken Dodd

 

[Kamikaze]

And that's what I've done. Maintained it for 20 years. This old brooms had 17 new heads and 14 new handles in its time. There’s the picture. What more proof do you need?

Trigger

 

[Baddegg]

Income tax ???
Ken Dodd

He’s a legend he even avoided it in death ha ha

 

[littlespark]

Life is like a box of chocolates..............

Brown, sticky.... and invariably full of nuts.

I ain't got time to Bleed.

Jesse Ventura
Predator

I thought that said Ace Ventura for a second...

 

[Silly Sausage]

£40 to fixit
£50 if you watch
££70 if you've had a go yourself.

my old man.

For a crate of Old P, whatever you want.

Tel.

 

[Silly Sausage]

"Sorry guys, I know you've gone to a lot of trouble, but frankly, I just don't like veal."

The prodigal son.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn
Clark Gable

 

[dinger809]

Some people think they’re champagne in a crystal flute, when all they are is ---- in a paper cup


My dad

 

[pirate]

Dictatorships breed oppression, dictatorships breed servility, dictatorships breed cruelty; more loathsome still is the fact that they breed idiocy.
Bellboys babbling orders, portraits of caudillos, prearranged cheers or insults, walls covered with names, unanimous ceremonies, mere discipline usurping the place of clear thinking...Fighting these sad monotonies is one of the duties of a writer.


Jorge Luis Borges

 

[pirate]

c**t!

dh lawrence

 

[pirate]

There is nothing I want
There is nothing I need
There is nothing I fear...
Therefore, I am free.

Nikos Kazantzakis, author of Zorba The Greek

 

[pirate]

Never mind the snipers!
They couldn't hit a barn door at this dist....

 

[dinger809]

What the f&@k was that????

Mayor of Hiroshima

 

[pirate]

There isn't a house in New Orleans...

Eric Burdon and the Animals, 2005 re-mix

 

[Rpa07]

‘I NEED A HORSE’
‘I’m sorry, we only have cats and dogs’
‘OK GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE BIG ENOUGH TO RIDE’
Thor, five minutes ago E4

 

[Squid]

I use sign language........

 

[Silly Sausage]

I use sign language........

View attachment 47762

You look remarkably like Steve McQueen.
Cool, dude, Cool!

 

[Deleted member 26818]

He mentioned the fuse box would need to be replaced because it wasn't "regs". He quoted £430 + VAT for this and then the quote for the rest was the other code 1 stuff came to about £370 + VAT.
No RCD Protection CODE 1
Fusebox not Labelled CODE 1
No Danger Stickers or labels CODE 1
Circuit 9 should be rated at 16amps (not 32amp - firehazard) CODE 1
Hob ignition 0.75mm cable connected to a 32amp cooker circuit CODE 1

A quote from some chancer in 2011.

 

[Kamikaze]

Hello Mummy! Hello Daddy! Woozee nine milimeter?

Little Arnold Schwarzenegger

 

[electric al]

I ought to isolate this circuit rea.....
Iam zappered

 

[telectrix]

well the plumber said it was dead.......

electrician at the pearly gates.

 

[Kamikaze]

Electricity will be the death of me!

Jaws

 

[Bait Account]

TN-C and TN-C-S are the same

Essex

 

[Squid]

Do you like travel and do you like sex?

F Off!!!!

 

[Kamikaze]

Always keep on the lights you must. Failing lights will lead to the dark side.

Yoda

 

[electric al]

There are 2 types of people in this world , those with shovels and those with guns . When the man with the shovel meets the man with the gun , the man with the shovel digs .

 

[electric al]

There are 2 types of people in this world , those with shovels and those with guns . When the man with the shovel meets the man with the gun , the man with the shovel digs .

Clint Eastwood

 

[old plodder]

An old farmer friend of mine said "Never tie your bootlaces up in some one else's Turnip field"

 

[EbolaSideRoom]

The version of this I was schooled in -
Never wrestle with a pig, you get covered in sh1te and the pig enjoys it ... I heard it from my Dad, who probably learned it first hand.

“You can put the pig in a suit,
But you can’t stop it grunting”
Marco Pierre White.

 

[EbolaSideRoom]

Ebolasideroom on a different thread!

I’ve been quoted!!!
Baddegg, you’ve made my week.

 

[EbolaSideRoom]

I see no ships only hardships.

Me.

I’ve only ever heard electricians say this.

The first chap I heard it from was also apt, when asked by another trade if they could use the sort of tool they clearly ought’ve had themselves, to come up with fantastically absurd response:
“Alright mate, got a screwdriver I borrow?”
“No, but I’ve got a postcard of Hitler riding a bicycle”.

 

[EbolaSideRoom]

“I often say that when you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meagre and unsatisfactory kind”

Kelvin.

If it can’t be expressed in figures, it is opinion, not fact.

Robert Heinlein.

 

[westward10]

My old mentor long gone now would come up with similar things. When asked do you know such and such he would say does he have a red handled pen knife.

 

[EbolaSideRoom]

Clint Eastwood

There are 2 types of people in this world , those with shovels and those with guns . When the man with the shovel meets the man with the gun , the man with the shovel digs .

I can’t attribute it to anyone, but...

“There are two kinds of people in the world:
Those who can extrapolate a conclusion from incomplete data,
.....”