Jokes on your apprentice

[Guest123]

Found this little ----bit....

What is Green Slime or Goo? And do I need to re-wire circuits with Green Slime coming out of the wires?

Also known as "Green Slime", this phenomenon is characterised by the appearance of a sticky green exudate leaking out of PVC-insulated wiring at locations such as switches, hot points and light fittings. The green goo problem is predominantly associated with older (25+ years) TPS-type cables operating in a warm environment. The exudate comprises a plasticiser that has migrated out of the PVC insulation, coloured due to reaction with the copper conductor.

Due to its stickiness and unsightly colour, the goo has a high nuisance value, however it poses no significant health hazard. It may be cleaned from surfaces by wiping with a rag soaked in a petroleum- or alcohol-based solvent (such as meths).

The long-term consequence of the exudate is that it represents a de-plasticising of the insulation, meaning that as the process continues the PVC will eventually become brittle, and crack.

 

[m4tty]

In my area, the housing stock is very old, it is very common for me to see green goo. Well documented in NIC snags and solutions book. They say it has health and safety issues. I appreciate that there are colleagues out there who have never seen this stuff, If any one wants a piccy will post one.

You aint into hydroponics are you mate. Sounds like a right greenhouse you have there lol

 

[gaffer]

Cheers Lenny,have seen it before,once or twice.Now I know what Jason meant.

 

[ashmaninc]

go for a long weight
fetch a bag of sparks
get some sky hooks
fetch a floating ladder
(earthing a block of wood) - my favorite haha
get some bubbles for the spirit level
left handed screwdriver

 

[mogga]

we once had an apprentice who wore shorts all the time One day we stapled the leg up he was hopping around callin us for everything

another one was tiewrapped to conduit along his arms

 

[Echo]

Had all the usual tricks played on me however two stories stick out in my mind.

Boss decided to hide my snips and give me a duff pair and trying to give me a freight by getting me to snip and rip alotta old cables out (one was live) Anyway eventually cut through the live one and it went with a bang, boss came from another room laughing his head off, then his face just dropped and went purple when he realised I was using his snips because it was taking too long with the duff pair.

Another one was working with a joiner who was abit of a *****, always giving me grief, one day i acidentally knocked over his flask and broke all the element on the inside. He went ballistic. Anyway he turned up a few days later with a brand new flask and was showing it off to everyone. One of the plumbers who had seen him being abit of an idiot with me told me to empty it and fill it with screws, then go up to him and shake it and say sorry mate I knocked your flask off. Anyway in my naiviety I did as I was told, the joiner ripped the flask out of my hand and launched it across the room for it to shatter when it hit the wall on the other side. Everyone on site was crying with laughter and that was the last time he ever give me any trouble.

 

[kevyn]

I've had a dead fish in my lunch box
Cardboard in my sandwiches then taking a bite unknowingly

The best one:

Was a 2nd year app on a rewire with two tradesmen on a friday after dinnertime. off i go to get on making the mistake of leaving my lunchbox unwatched. end of the day comes we all go home as usual I just leave my bag in the porch at home. Sunday night comes and my old dear gets my lunch box out, opens it up and shouts me into the kitchen. I walk in to find her waving an old TAMPON she found in my box. The lads couldn't keep a straight face all of monday.

I agree tho these things a rite of passage and even tho I dont work with these lads anymore we are still in contact with each other

 

[J@mes]

I was forever getting told not to leave my boots in my gaffer's van in case he got called out one night and wasn't in the next day. I kept leaving them in there until I went to put them on one day and my toes squelched in to something - he had hit a pigeon on the way over to pick me up that morning, so he chopped it in half and rammed it head first in to the bottom of my boot. So there I am wondering if my sock is ruffing up, trying to ram my foot in the boot only to pull it out and find pigeon guts all over it!

My mate (plumber) made his apprentice puke when they were refitting toilets and basins to a school. Once all the work was finished, he went back and smeared a mars bar in one of the toilet bowls so it looked like a massive skid mark. App is sent back in to do last inspection and finds the unsightly mark. He reports back to my mate who follows him in to the cubicle, scrubs the mark off with two fingers and then sticks them in his mouth and licks the muck off. Apprentice honked like a goose!

 

[Doomed]

My mate (plumber) made his apprentice puke when they were refitting toilets and basins to a school. Once all the work was finished, he went back and smeared a mars bar in one of the toilet bowls so it looked like a massive skid mark. App is sent back in to do last inspection and finds the unsightly mark. He reports back to my mate who follows him in to the cubicle, scrubs the mark off with two fingers and then sticks them in his mouth and licks the muck off. Apprentice honked like a goose!

2 of my mates are truckers, they hit a deer one night, stopped to inspect the damage, and one of them started scraping the brains and goo of the radiator grill with his finger and eating it.
My other mate puked his guts for about half an hour apparently.

 

[SparkyAndy]

^Both stories hilarious!