Jokes on your apprentice

[Guest123]

Found this little ----bit....

What is Green Slime or Goo? And do I need to re-wire circuits with Green Slime coming out of the wires?

Also known as "Green Slime", this phenomenon is characterised by the appearance of a sticky green exudate leaking out of PVC-insulated wiring at locations such as switches, hot points and light fittings. The green goo problem is predominantly associated with older (25+ years) TPS-type cables operating in a warm environment. The exudate comprises a plasticiser that has migrated out of the PVC insulation, coloured due to reaction with the copper conductor.

Due to its stickiness and unsightly colour, the goo has a high nuisance value, however it poses no significant health hazard. It may be cleaned from surfaces by wiping with a rag soaked in a petroleum- or alcohol-based solvent (such as meths).

The long-term consequence of the exudate is that it represents a de-plasticising of the insulation, meaning that as the process continues the PVC will eventually become brittle, and crack.

 

[m4tty]

In my area, the housing stock is very old, it is very common for me to see green goo. Well documented in NIC snags and solutions book. They say it has health and safety issues. I appreciate that there are colleagues out there who have never seen this stuff, If any one wants a piccy will post one.

You aint into hydroponics are you mate. Sounds like a right greenhouse you have there lol

 

[gaffer]

Cheers Lenny,have seen it before,once or twice.Now I know what Jason meant.

 

[ashmaninc]

go for a long weight
fetch a bag of sparks
get some sky hooks
fetch a floating ladder
(earthing a block of wood) - my favorite haha
get some bubbles for the spirit level
left handed screwdriver

 

[mogga]

we once had an apprentice who wore shorts all the time One day we stapled the leg up he was hopping around callin us for everything

another one was tiewrapped to conduit along his arms

 

[Echo]

Had all the usual tricks played on me however two stories stick out in my mind.

Boss decided to hide my snips and give me a duff pair and trying to give me a freight by getting me to snip and rip alotta old cables out (one was live) Anyway eventually cut through the live one and it went with a bang, boss came from another room laughing his head off, then his face just dropped and went purple when he realised I was using his snips because it was taking too long with the duff pair.

Another one was working with a joiner who was abit of a *****, always giving me grief, one day i acidentally knocked over his flask and broke all the element on the inside. He went ballistic. Anyway he turned up a few days later with a brand new flask and was showing it off to everyone. One of the plumbers who had seen him being abit of an idiot with me told me to empty it and fill it with screws, then go up to him and shake it and say sorry mate I knocked your flask off. Anyway in my naiviety I did as I was told, the joiner ripped the flask out of my hand and launched it across the room for it to shatter when it hit the wall on the other side. Everyone on site was crying with laughter and that was the last time he ever give me any trouble.

 

[kevyn]

I've had a dead fish in my lunch box
Cardboard in my sandwiches then taking a bite unknowingly

The best one:

Was a 2nd year app on a rewire with two tradesmen on a friday after dinnertime. off i go to get on making the mistake of leaving my lunchbox unwatched. end of the day comes we all go home as usual I just leave my bag in the porch at home. Sunday night comes and my old dear gets my lunch box out, opens it up and shouts me into the kitchen. I walk in to find her waving an old TAMPON she found in my box. The lads couldn't keep a straight face all of monday.

I agree tho these things a rite of passage and even tho I dont work with these lads anymore we are still in contact with each other

 

[J@mes]

I was forever getting told not to leave my boots in my gaffer's van in case he got called out one night and wasn't in the next day. I kept leaving them in there until I went to put them on one day and my toes squelched in to something - he had hit a pigeon on the way over to pick me up that morning, so he chopped it in half and rammed it head first in to the bottom of my boot. So there I am wondering if my sock is ruffing up, trying to ram my foot in the boot only to pull it out and find pigeon guts all over it!

My mate (plumber) made his apprentice puke when they were refitting toilets and basins to a school. Once all the work was finished, he went back and smeared a mars bar in one of the toilet bowls so it looked like a massive skid mark. App is sent back in to do last inspection and finds the unsightly mark. He reports back to my mate who follows him in to the cubicle, scrubs the mark off with two fingers and then sticks them in his mouth and licks the muck off. Apprentice honked like a goose!

 

[Doomed]

My mate (plumber) made his apprentice puke when they were refitting toilets and basins to a school. Once all the work was finished, he went back and smeared a mars bar in one of the toilet bowls so it looked like a massive skid mark. App is sent back in to do last inspection and finds the unsightly mark. He reports back to my mate who follows him in to the cubicle, scrubs the mark off with two fingers and then sticks them in his mouth and licks the muck off. Apprentice honked like a goose!

2 of my mates are truckers, they hit a deer one night, stopped to inspect the damage, and one of them started scraping the brains and goo of the radiator grill with his finger and eating it.
My other mate puked his guts for about half an hour apparently.

 

[SparkyAndy]

^Both stories hilarious!

 

[silva.foxx]

Well, he's sort of my apprentice, I took my 9 year old lad swimming today and couldn't resist the 'endless shampoo' prank in the shower whilst he was rinsing out the suds, just kept adding a splodge, bubbles everwhere!

It caused a giggle with the other users. He started to panic and whinge...just like a typical 'gopher'!
No doubt he'll snitch to the boss, when she gets home.

 

[Doomed]

My wife now decants shampoo into a small one use bottle when I take the boy swimming now......

 

[finto86]

sent a lad for green and yellow strippie paint to paint the earth

 

[pburley]

Hi in my last job I sent a lad down to our local supplier to ask for a long wait (metric) the supplier got the joke straight away and had him standing there for over an hour. cracking.

 

[MUFC1999]

An apprentice painter on site got sent for tartan paint once, came back calling the shop staff idiots for not stocking it.

I got dunked in one of those big blue buckets plasterers use for their water and then had a bag of plaster thrown at me, that took a while to come out and my mum wasn't best pleased when I walked in.

At school on work experience, one lad went to fords. Boss sends him over to vauxhall one day for some Fallopian tubes.

 

[tenheads]

guys i worked with screwed a boys toolbox to the floor.

he picked it up in a rush and broke his wrist

done this after it was done to me

 

[GStueyXR]

When I was a lad, I got hung naked by the feet from the mech arm of a JCB and driven up to the office of the company secratary and hung outside her window.... Think I got a semi-woody

 

[gawain]

My fav story is a app fresh out of pampers with shiny new tools. We used to nick his tools and hide them playing a 'colder, warmer' game. So he bought a pad lock, knocked out the hinges and replaced them. So he got a expensive box with closed hinges, Problem solved? Not with a small drill bit and some expanding foam!

thats out of order especially for an app who has just started on low wage if that.

 

[JimTheSpark]

Back when I was at school, I must have been about 15 I did my work experience at a printers.

Around an hour into the first day a a few of the fellas ask me to go down the road and get some invisible ink and a long weight. I had alrady been warned about a few of the pranks they might try and play and cottoned on that they were trying to wind me up.

I left them saying yea no problem and went home.

When I turned up the following day they said where did you go, your were gone all day. I said see the long weight you asked for. I look it at home infront of the tele!

I had a very easy going time for the rest of the week

 

[gawain]

remember when i was sent to go and get some elbow grese :s .