what funny things have happened to you at work

[vjsmarwick]

Just want to hear of some of your funny stories.
I will start
I was an apprentice and working with a right fine old spark we were doing a rewire in a house so everything was getting moved around.
The woman had gone out shopping and her daughter with her the Daughter was a stunner about 19 just a bit older than me.
We started stripping off all the old fittings and in the daughters bedroom there was a socket behind the Chet of drawers so I shouted on junior the spark to give me a lift as it was heavy.
As we were moving it out the front corner at my side hooked on the carpet and the top drawer shot clean out.
Well I went beetroot red it was full of all her knickers. Junior turned walked away and said you better get those pit away before they get home and as he went through the house I heard the front door open and Junior talk.
I shouted through to him I am not that stupid you need to try harder to worry me and hurried to put the knickers away neatly.
I saw a shadow move and I looked up to see the girl standing there looking at me. Well I couldn't even talk I sat where I was and tried to talk but nothing would come out then Junior came in and burst out laughing. He had to explain what had happened I still could not talk I was still sitting there as red as the knickers I was still holding. The girl now with a red face too snatched them from me and said she would put them away and I got up and left the room but it was a standing joke for a long time and still get asked about it.

 

[trev]

Late in my apprenticeship I somehow got the blame for an accident in the workshop so was invited to an --- kicking party, the senior guy who sent the invitation was a very big bloke with a reputation for being bad tempered. The party started and he was shouting and bawling at me and would not let me get a word in edgeways, after a while he told me to get out of his sight. At this point I tried to put my version of events but was once again told to leave the room in no uncertain terms, something concerning intercourse and travel.
I walked out of his office seething at the injustice and stormed into the admin bit where the female staff did their thing and had a kettle. One of the girls who was about my age asked me what was wrong so I stood in front of her desk and unloaded, using words like ignorant and baboon and idiot, phrases like I should go back in there and knock him on his backside. About half way through my tirade she started kicking me under her desk, didn't stop me though, on and on I went until I'd unloaded fully.
I then noticed that the entire room had gone very quiet, at that point I said "He's right behind me isn't he"
I was later completely exonerated when the real culprit owned up and the guy apologised to me publicly. Alls well that ended well.

 

[Guest111]

I had a similar situation to Trev but involving a phone,I was totally hacked off with something that had gone on at work and tried to ring the boss to have it out with him but he wasn,t answering his phone,anyway when I got to site some of the lads had heard what had happened and asked me about it.So I,m stood there effing and blinding about what had happened and what I was going to do to the boss when I saw him,when one of the other lads phones rang he didn,t say anything and just passed it to me.On the other end was the boss and he just said "check your phone I think it rang me" sure enough I must have hit redial as I got out of my van and he had answered so I just said "did you hear everything" and he said "yes word for word" so I just said "good now sort it out" and hung up,he never rang me all day but when i went back to the office the problem was sorted,and I got a pay rise result.

 

[Kamikaze]

Whilst still an apprentice, we were working in a newly constructed pub. On this particular day, I was up in the roof space connection up all the ventilation equipment. Usually my gaffer would give me a shout when it was break time because I never bothered with a watch. As time went on, I got more and more hungry until I decided it must surely be break time by now. Climbed through the loft hatch only to find everyone, and I mean everyone without exception, completely out of their tree. As it happened, on this day the barrels of beer turned up and they had to run the stuff through the pipes to remove any chemical residue. The landlord then just poured the stuff down the sink. Apparently it was the foulest beer they had ever tasted but the thought of it all going to waste was too much for the lads and they were drinking it. By the time I got down from the roof space all the action was over and I was left with a lot of very unwell and drunk work colleague. What got me, the landlord was drinking it as well and he knew how bad it was going to be. That week they started a “Wolly book” in the pub to immortalize all the stupid things the clientele would get up to in pursuit of happiness and that was the first entry.

 

[trev]

On a council rewire programme a few years back and we bowled up at this middle aged guys flat to start work, he did the usual stuff of getting the kettle on and we got chatting while we had our cuppas. He told us that he had had to try really hard to get his job brought forward as he was going into hospital the following week to have both legs amputated at the knee.
We all made the expected sympathetic noises as would be expected, all except for one guy who was an absolute scream to work with. He waited till it all went quiet looked the guy square in the face and said "I'll buy your shoes off you"
Luckily the guy saw the funny side.

 

[Paul.M]

When I was 17 and an electricians labourer I got invited to the works fancy dress xmas do. The batman suit was already taken by one of the main men so I got landed with the Robin suit, Green tights, mask and lovely pvc gloves lol, the full works.

After a few hours at the free bar I decided to to show off my break dancing skills to these old gits. What a mistake that was, I was doing ok at first then I really banged my head on the floor 'busting a move'. Almost knocked myself out! After a bit of a sit down and the lads giving me more free drinks (brandy btw) I went to the toilet for a number 2. I proceeded to pass out on the bog with my lovely green tights around my ankles, not a pretty sight btw. After half an hour or so they realised that I was missing and went looking for me. There I was on the bog dressed up like a fool sleeping like a baby. Could not wake me up so they dressed me, called a taxi and got me up to A&E.

I cant remember any of this after I hit my head but I do remember waking up the next day in an hospital bed wearing a nighty kind of thing and then when they said I can go home now, OH the embarrassment of walking through town and getting on the number 57 bus at 10 O'clock on a Saturday morning a week before xmas dressed up as a semi conscious, half drunk Robin and all I could think of is getting a kebab. Thank God this was before mobile phones had cameras on them or I would have taken more stick than what I got. Almost got fired for this as well, being too drunk on a works do and under age but we all blamed it on the knock on the head.

 

[drew35]

I have loads of stories but I’d be here for a week writing them all down, how about this for a start because it comes with a picture.

I used to have a mate work alongside me, people called us Dastardly and Muttley because my mate laughed at everything and sounds like Muttley, and I’m a complete and utter Dastard! And together we used to mess around way to much in a very unprofessional manner. At one job I remember well, we were working for a woman whose middle aged son still lived at home, and we were working in his bedroom. There was a computer desk in the corner that needed moving, as it had drawers in it I went to remove them to lighten the load, and look what was in the top draw…

We laughed for a long time before putting gloves on to touch the desk. But the best thing is what does the guy do in his spare time? Scout leader… At least they were women on the films….!

 

[drew35]

If my last post hasn’t been removed this kind of carries on the same way.

Again we’re working in a couple’s house, both around fifty years old, and again we’re in the bedroom. And all of a sudden my mate’s nearly choking he’s laughing so much, so I go over to see what he’s got into now and he hands me a photo. Well let’s just say it was the lady of the house in nothing but suspenders doing shall we say an impression of a cucumber holder!

When I asked him where he found it he pointed to the chest of drawers, and just sitting on top was what looked like the shallow plastic crates that bread is delivered to supermarkets in, full of photos all on their end. Apparently this one picture was sticking up and he noticed a stocking clad leg and pulled it out to look. And when we looked at a few more, we had to didn’t we? She did a good impression of a wine bottle holder too! There were hundreds, maybe thousands. My mate couldn’t control himself; I had to sent him out because he couldn’t stop sniggering. They must have left them there for us to find.

 

[vjsmarwick]

I was at work one day with a labourer that really thought he was the spark and was getting on my wick. We were rewiring an old stone built house where the walls were 3 foot thick he was at one side of the wall and I was at the other and we were going to pass an extension through a tight hole in the wall I was to pass it to him so I sat back and waited I could see him struggle to get his hand through a tight space in the wall and I kept asking if he had it yet and always the answer no.
Well he was terrified of rats so I got some of the old fluffy insulation off one of the old pipes and then handed him the cable and immediately ran the insulation over his hand too.
Well you could hear the screams in the next house and he was so determined not to let go of the cable he pulled and pulled and really struggled to get his hand out again.
When he eventually came down with his hand wrapped in his shirt I felt so bad I could not tell him for about 3 weeks what I had done and for some unknown reason he still could not see the funny side lol the rest of the firm thought it was hilarious and most carried fluffy lagging with them for months after.

 

[Silly Sausage]

drew, can I be your apprentice?
It sounds much more exciting in the Valleys than here in Manc!

 

[trev]

Went into a young womans flat on the same council job and she had (deliberately I reckon) left some erm "entertainment devices" on her bedside cabinet.

 

[Kamikaze]

What, like disco lights? :biggrin:

 

[NEZ2490]

Did a job recently the guy had to send my boss some videos of a leaking bath when my boss gets the videos its one of the client getting rogered big time in the bathroom where the leak had occurred hilarious next day the video link had been removed so the guy now knows he had sent it. worst thing is i had to go back to job about a week later awkward to say the least. lol

 

[trev]

What, like disco lights? :biggrin:

No mate feminine physical entertainment devices