Jokes on your apprentice

[Sintra]

While we are on the subject of names we sent an apprentice to the wholesalers to pick up some gear and told him he had to ask for DREW PEACOCK. (he nearly got thumped when he kept asking for droopy c**k.)

 

[gaffer]

LOL! also liked the way you had to explain it to us!

 

[pennywise]

We hid a wireless door bell in one of the lads vans, behind the ply lining then screwed the ply back with sercurity screws the one shot wonder ones.

My m8 was telling me about another lad on his company a plumber apprentice who got tied up and got his balls painted with the red enamel paint they use for sprinkler systems, It took 2 weeks to come off in this day and age you'd get done for assault.

 

[Round Man]

we convinced a app that being friday it was poets day, this meant that we all had to make up a poem and if it was good enough the boss would let you go home at 1.
So after breakfast he toddled off to the boss with his poem, i can still hear the shouting now lol learnt a few new words that day too.

 

[Jason Smith]

Ok, some of my apprentices were police oficers in a previous life (what a waste of electrical talent ) You will all of heard of the one wherby a probationer was taken to a morgue to identify a body, of course the body was actualy a coleague and on being slid out, sat bolt upright and said hello to the probationer, reactions ranged from "you ******* " to fainting , screeming etc . However, as ther is nothing new, and training school were starting to advise said probationers on ways they could be caught out by old sweats, they started to get wise to this one.
One such gobby sod, cast a knowing glance when we suggested he had to attend the morgue late one night for a body identification. we suggested he should be the body, and he play the prank, as he was obviously wise to it, suggesting that a fellow probationer needed to be brought down apeg or two. we built him up a bit. In he was slid, and ther he stayed for a couple of minutes, he must of heard the approaching footsteps and was expectingto be slid out and play his part in the prank. What he did not expect, was the body next to him to suddenly say "****** cold in here in it mate "
He sat bolt upright apparently, four stitches in his forehaed later, and he finally stopped gibbering.
The only utcome was he got a -------ing from the sergeant who had lad next to him for blledingon said sergeants shirt.

 

[rocker]

Ha ha that's class!

 

[Phil]

nice one. once worked with a guy that dropped mercury from a thermomitor in another of the app coffee, stood up in the canteen and lost a few bodily fluids. ****** lucky it was not worse or he could have gone down for manslaughter. never saw the other guy drink coffee after that one

 

[Notsosmart]

nice one. once worked with a guy that dropped mercury from a thermomitor in another of the app coffee, stood up in the canteen and lost a few bodily fluids. ****** lucky it was not worse or he could have gone down for manslaughter. never saw the other guy drink coffee after that one

I'm suprised no one tried to stop him, that is one of the worst things I have heard of in a long time, mercury poisoning can affect the brain, kidneys & lungs. Did the idiot who thought this a joke get any disciplinary action or is he still out there thinking that inappropriate behaviour is funny.

Please don't get me wrong I have done some silly things & like a joke but stop short of hurting someone.

 

[Guest123]

nice one. once worked with a guy that dropped mercury from a thermomitor in another of the app coffee, stood up in the canteen and lost a few bodily fluids. ****** lucky it was not worse or he could have gone down for manslaughter. never saw the other guy drink coffee after that one

That is one step too far for me.

He could have died!!!!!!!!!

 

[rocker]

That is one step too far for me.

He could have died!!!!!!!!!

Yea or be sent insane or subnormal. I don't think I would have been able to stop myself decking that fella. Also the morons in an earlier post who doused someone is caustic soda.

 

[Phil]

no one knew until the idiot that put it in his drink started laughing and told the full canteen. yeh he did face a disaplinary, and the police car outside

not sure if it went to court I was not at the company long after that. one of those strange places were no one left anything unattended after that not surprisingly

 

[Guest123]

Sounds like you were best off out of there then mate!!!

 

[steve-]

HAHA i never used to take that stuff. i remember pulling similar gags on my boss. Strapping him in a porta-loo and shaking it. screwing a box of cable clips to a peice of wood and then asking him to pass it to ya.
its all fun and games

 

[GT1989]

When I was a joiner apprentice first year working with a couple of joiners in a bungalow and was sent up to the site agent and ask when the stairs were due in ! Was up there for a while !! Only time ive fallen for it but it was a hard 1 to live down !

 

[devlin maguire]

Go to the stores and get a bucket of sparks for the grinding machine
Hand me the metric adjustable spanner
Stupid boy you only use the dutch hoe around the tulips
Mac

 

[Darkwood]

nice one. once worked with a guy that dropped mercury from a thermomitor in another of the app coffee, stood up in the canteen and lost a few bodily fluids. ****** lucky it was not worse or he could have gone down for manslaughter. never saw the other guy drink coffee after that one

If mercury is swallowed it should pass through the body with minimal absorbsion but irrespective of this it can still deal alot of damage, a thermometer contains about 500mg typically and this if passed through the body into the sewers can contaminate 500 million gallons of water with deadly effects, the person dealing this prank shouldnt be even walking the streets anymore as hes not only got away with a near manslaughter charge but also hes most definately damaged the local water ways, this is why the crack down on lamps has been implied when disposing of them, how many of you played darth vader with a tube in the past because the mercury vapour is readily absorbed straight into the body and the effects can be irreversable.
P.S i did as a kid now i think back and worry a tad.

 

[Phil]

we used to play with them as kids too. and chalk with old break pads, and pick pieces off the old asbestos boards in science. time will tell what I have been exposed to over the years with company's that were not lets say too up on the health and safety laws. was in a garage not too long ago where a guy had turned up to install
an oil burner the chimney route was to go through some asbestos sheets. up he goes with his 99p painters mask on he knew what it was he was going to cut through and so did the lads in the garage, "don`t matter about the asbestos its just a bit of dust " ? no i didn`t hang around till he started cutting through it.

 

[rocker]

Used to play with those tubes when I was kid. Remember smashing a hell of a lot of them. Hmmm.

A schoolfriend of mine is certified now - locked up for his own safety. Very likely this was helped along by the mercury he kept swirling round in his hand when we were about 12....

Minimata.

 

[Jason Smith]

In my area, the housing stock is very old, it is very common for me to see green goo. Well documented in NIC snags and solutions book. They say it has health and safety issues. I appreciate that there are colleagues out there who have never seen this stuff, If any one wants a piccy will post one.

 

[gaffer]

In my area, the housing stock is very old, it is very common for me to see green goo. Well documented in NIC snags and solutions book. They say it has health and safety issues. I appreciate that there are colleagues out there who have never seen this stuff, If any one wants a piccy will post one.

Green goo?what from,old copper breaking down in long term dampness?Would love to see a piccy please mate.