S
Sintra
While we are on the subject of names we sent an apprentice to the wholesalers to pick up some gear and told him he had to ask for DREW PEACOCK. (he nearly got thumped when he kept asking for droopy c**k.)
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pennywise
We hid a wireless door bell in one of the lads vans, behind the ply lining then screwed the ply back with sercurity screws the one shot wonder ones
.
My m8 was telling me about another lad on his company a plumber apprentice who got tied up and got his balls painted with the red enamel paint they use for sprinkler systems, It took 2 weeks to come off in this day and age you'd get done for assault.
.My m8 was telling me about another lad on his company a plumber apprentice who got tied up and got his balls painted with the red enamel paint they use for sprinkler systems, It took 2 weeks to come off
in this day and age you'd get done for assault.
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Round Man
we convinced a app that being friday it was poets day, this meant that we all had to make up a poem and if it was good enough the boss would let you go home at 1.
So after breakfast he toddled off to the boss with his poem, i can still hear the shouting now lol learnt a few new words that day too.
So after breakfast he toddled off to the boss with his poem, i can still hear the shouting now lol learnt a few new words that day too.
J
Jason Smith
Ok, some of my apprentices were police oficers in a previous life (what a waste of electrical talent ) You will all of heard of the one wherby a probationer was taken to a morgue to identify a body, of course the body was actualy a coleague and on being slid out, sat bolt upright and said hello to the probationer, reactions ranged from "you ******* " to fainting , screeming etc . However, as ther is nothing new, and training school were starting to advise said probationers on ways they could be caught out by old sweats, they started to get wise to this one.
One such gobby sod, cast a knowing glance when we suggested he had to attend the morgue late one night for a body identification. we suggested he should be the body, and he play the prank, as he was obviously wise to it, suggesting that a fellow probationer needed to be brought down apeg or two. we built him up a bit. In he was slid, and ther he stayed for a couple of minutes, he must of heard the approaching footsteps and was expectingto be slid out and play his part in the prank. What he did not expect, was the body next to him to suddenly say "****** cold in here in it mate "
He sat bolt upright apparently, four stitches in his forehaed later, and he finally stopped gibbering.
The only utcome was he got a -------ing from the sergeant who had lad next to him for blledingon said sergeants shirt.
One such gobby sod, cast a knowing glance when we suggested he had to attend the morgue late one night for a body identification. we suggested he should be the body, and he play the prank, as he was obviously wise to it, suggesting that a fellow probationer needed to be brought down apeg or two. we built him up a bit. In he was slid, and ther he stayed for a couple of minutes, he must of heard the approaching footsteps and was expectingto be slid out and play his part in the prank. What he did not expect, was the body next to him to suddenly say "****** cold in here in it mate "
He sat bolt upright apparently, four stitches in his forehaed later, and he finally stopped gibbering.
The only utcome was he got a -------ing from the sergeant who had lad next to him for blledingon said sergeants shirt.
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rocker
Ha ha that's class!
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Phil
nice one. once worked with a guy that dropped mercury from a thermomitor in another of the app coffee, stood up in the canteen and lost a few bodily fluids. ****** lucky it was not worse or he could have gone down for manslaughter. never saw the other guy drink coffee after that one
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I'm suprised no one tried to stop him, that is one of the worst things I have heard of in a long time, mercury poisoning can affect the brain, kidneys & lungs. Did the idiot who thought this a joke get any disciplinary action or is he still out there thinking that inappropriate behaviour is funny.Please don't get me wrong I have done some silly things & like a joke but stop short of hurting someone.
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Guest123
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rocker
That is one step too far for me.
He could have died!!!!!!!!!
Yea or be sent insane or subnormal. I don't think I would have been able to stop myself decking that fella. Also the morons in an earlier post who doused someone is caustic soda.
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Phil
no one knew until the idiot that put it in his drink started laughing and told the full canteen. yeh he did face a disaplinary, and the police car outside
not sure if it went to court I was not at the company long after that. one of those strange places were no one left anything unattended after that not surprisingly
not sure if it went to court I was not at the company long after that. one of those strange places were no one left anything unattended after that not surprisingly
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Guest123
Sounds like you were best off out of there then mate!!!
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steve-
HAHA i never used to take that stuff. i remember pulling similar gags on my boss. Strapping him in a porta-loo and shaking it. screwing a box of cable clips to a peice of wood and then asking him to pass it to ya.
its all fun and games
its all fun and games
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GT1989
When I was a joiner apprentice first year working with a couple of joiners in a bungalow and was sent up to the site agent and ask when the stairs were due in ! Was up there for a while !! Only time ive fallen for it but it was a hard 1 to live down !
D
devlin maguire
Go to the stores and get a bucket of sparks for the grinding machine
Hand me the metric adjustable spanner
Stupid boy you only use the dutch hoe around the tulips
Mac
Hand me the metric adjustable spanner
Stupid boy you only use the dutch hoe around the tulips
Mac
D
Darkwood
If mercury is swallowed it should pass through the body with minimal absorbsion but irrespective of this it can still deal alot of damage, a thermometer contains about 500mg typically and this if passed through the body into the sewers can contaminate 500 million gallons of water with deadly effects, the person dealing this prank shouldnt be even walking the streets anymore as hes not only got away with a near manslaughter charge but also hes most definately damaged the local water ways, this is why the crack down on lamps has been implied when disposing of them, how many of you played darth vader with a tube in the past because the mercury vapour is readily absorbed straight into the body and the effects can be irreversable.
P.S i did as a kid now i think back and worry a tad.
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Phil
we used to play with them as kids too. and chalk with old break pads, and pick pieces off the old asbestos boards in science. time will tell what I have been exposed to over the years with company's that were not lets say too up on the health and safety laws. was in a garage not too long ago where a guy had turned up to install
an oil burner the chimney route was to go through some asbestos sheets. up he goes with his 99p painters mask on he knew what it was he was going to cut through and so did the lads in the garage, "don`t matter about the asbestos its just a bit of dust " ? no i didn`t hang around till he started cutting through it.
an oil burner the chimney route was to go through some asbestos sheets. up he goes with his 99p painters mask on he knew what it was he was going to cut through and so did the lads in the garage, "don`t matter about the asbestos its just a bit of dust " ? no i didn`t hang around till he started cutting through it.
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rocker
Used to play with those tubes when I was kid. Remember smashing a hell of a lot of them. Hmmm.
A schoolfriend of mine is certified now - locked up for his own safety. Very likely this was helped along by the mercury he kept swirling round in his hand when we were about 12....
Minimata.
A schoolfriend of mine is certified now - locked up for his own safety. Very likely this was helped along by the mercury he kept swirling round in his hand when we were about 12....
Minimata.
J
Jason Smith
In my area, the housing stock is very old, it is very common for me to see green goo. Well documented in NIC snags and solutions book. They say it has health and safety issues. I appreciate that there are colleagues out there who have never seen this stuff, If any one wants a piccy will post one.
gaffer
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Green goo?
what from,old copper breaking down in long term dampness?Would love to see a piccy please mate.
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Guest123
Found this little ----bit....
What is Green Slime or Goo? And do I need to re-wire circuits with Green Slime coming out of the wires?
Also known as "Green Slime", this phenomenon is characterised by the appearance of a sticky green exudate leaking out of PVC-insulated wiring at locations such as switches, hot points and light fittings. The green goo problem is predominantly associated with older (25+ years) TPS-type cables operating in a warm environment. The exudate comprises a plasticiser that has migrated out of the PVC insulation, coloured due to reaction with the copper conductor.
Due to its stickiness and unsightly colour, the goo has a high nuisance value, however it poses no significant health hazard. It may be cleaned from surfaces by wiping with a rag soaked in a petroleum- or alcohol-based solvent (such as meths).
The long-term consequence of the exudate is that it represents a de-plasticising of the insulation, meaning that as the process continues the PVC will eventually become brittle, and crack.
What is Green Slime or Goo? And do I need to re-wire circuits with Green Slime coming out of the wires?
Also known as "Green Slime", this phenomenon is characterised by the appearance of a sticky green exudate leaking out of PVC-insulated wiring at locations such as switches, hot points and light fittings. The green goo problem is predominantly associated with older (25+ years) TPS-type cables operating in a warm environment. The exudate comprises a plasticiser that has migrated out of the PVC insulation, coloured due to reaction with the copper conductor.
Due to its stickiness and unsightly colour, the goo has a high nuisance value, however it poses no significant health hazard. It may be cleaned from surfaces by wiping with a rag soaked in a petroleum- or alcohol-based solvent (such as meths).
The long-term consequence of the exudate is that it represents a de-plasticising of the insulation, meaning that as the process continues the PVC will eventually become brittle, and crack.
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m4tty
You aint into hydroponics are you mate. Sounds like a right greenhouse you have there lol
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ashmaninc
go for a long weight
fetch a bag of sparks
get some sky hooks
fetch a floating ladder
(earthing a block of wood) - my favorite haha
get some bubbles for the spirit level
left handed screwdriver
fetch a bag of sparks
get some sky hooks
fetch a floating ladder
(earthing a block of wood) - my favorite haha
get some bubbles for the spirit level
left handed screwdriver
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mogga
we once had an apprentice who wore shorts all the time One day we stapled the leg up he was hopping around callin us for everything
another one was tiewrapped to conduit along his arms
another one was tiewrapped to conduit along his arms
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Echo
Had all the usual tricks played on me however two stories stick out in my mind.
Boss decided to hide my snips and give me a duff pair and trying to give me a freight by getting me to snip and rip alotta old cables out (one was live) Anyway eventually cut through the live one and it went with a bang, boss came from another room laughing his head off, then his face just dropped and went purple when he realised I was using his snips because it was taking too long with the duff pair.
Another one was working with a joiner who was abit of a *****, always giving me grief, one day i acidentally knocked over his flask and broke all the element on the inside. He went ballistic. Anyway he turned up a few days later with a brand new flask and was showing it off to everyone. One of the plumbers who had seen him being abit of an idiot with me told me to empty it and fill it with screws, then go up to him and shake it and say sorry mate I knocked your flask off. Anyway in my naiviety I did as I was told, the joiner ripped the flask out of my hand and launched it across the room for it to shatter when it hit the wall on the other side. Everyone on site was crying with laughter and that was the last time he ever give me any trouble.
Boss decided to hide my snips and give me a duff pair and trying to give me a freight by getting me to snip and rip alotta old cables out (one was live) Anyway eventually cut through the live one and it went with a bang, boss came from another room laughing his head off, then his face just dropped and went purple when he realised I was using his snips because it was taking too long with the duff pair.
Another one was working with a joiner who was abit of a *****, always giving me grief, one day i acidentally knocked over his flask and broke all the element on the inside. He went ballistic. Anyway he turned up a few days later with a brand new flask and was showing it off to everyone. One of the plumbers who had seen him being abit of an idiot with me told me to empty it and fill it with screws, then go up to him and shake it and say sorry mate I knocked your flask off. Anyway in my naiviety I did as I was told, the joiner ripped the flask out of my hand and launched it across the room for it to shatter when it hit the wall on the other side. Everyone on site was crying with laughter and that was the last time he ever give me any trouble.
kevyn
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I've had a dead fish in my lunch box
Cardboard in my sandwiches then taking a bite unknowingly
The best one:
Was a 2nd year app on a rewire with two tradesmen on a friday after dinnertime. off i go to get on making the mistake of leaving my lunchbox unwatched. end of the day comes we all go home as usual I just leave my bag in the porch at home. Sunday night comes and my old dear gets my lunch box out, opens it up and shouts me into the kitchen. I walk in to find her waving an old TAMPON she found in my box. The lads couldn't keep a straight face all of monday.
I agree tho these things a rite of passage and even tho I dont work with these lads anymore we are still in contact with each other
Cardboard in my sandwiches then taking a bite unknowingly
The best one:
Was a 2nd year app on a rewire with two tradesmen on a friday after dinnertime. off i go to get on making the mistake of leaving my lunchbox unwatched. end of the day comes we all go home as usual I just leave my bag in the porch at home. Sunday night comes and my old dear gets my lunch box out, opens it up and shouts me into the kitchen. I walk in to find her waving an old TAMPON she found in my box. The lads couldn't keep a straight face all of monday.
I agree tho these things a rite of passage and even tho I dont work with these lads anymore we are still in contact with each other
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J@mes
I was forever getting told not to leave my boots in my gaffer's van in case he got called out one night and wasn't in the next day. I kept leaving them in there until I went to put them on one day and my toes squelched in to something - he had hit a pigeon on the way over to pick me up that morning, so he chopped it in half and rammed it head first in to the bottom of my boot. So there I am wondering if my sock is ruffing up, trying to ram my foot in the boot only to pull it out and find pigeon guts all over it!
My mate (plumber) made his apprentice puke when they were refitting toilets and basins to a school. Once all the work was finished, he went back and smeared a mars bar in one of the toilet bowls so it looked like a massive skid mark. App is sent back in to do last inspection and finds the unsightly mark. He reports back to my mate who follows him in to the cubicle, scrubs the mark off with two fingers and then sticks them in his mouth and licks the muck off. Apprentice honked like a goose!
My mate (plumber) made his apprentice puke when they were refitting toilets and basins to a school. Once all the work was finished, he went back and smeared a mars bar in one of the toilet bowls so it looked like a massive skid mark. App is sent back in to do last inspection and finds the unsightly mark. He reports back to my mate who follows him in to the cubicle, scrubs the mark off with two fingers and then sticks them in his mouth and licks the muck off. Apprentice honked like a goose!
2 of my mates are truckers, they hit a deer one night, stopped to inspect the damage, and one of them started scraping the brains and goo of the radiator grill with his finger and eating it.
My other mate puked his guts for about half an hour apparently.
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SparkyAndy
^Both stories hilarious!
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silva.foxx
Well, he's sort of my apprentice, I took my 9 year old lad swimming today and couldn't resist the 'endless shampoo' prank in the shower whilst he was rinsing out the suds, just kept adding a splodge, bubbles everwhere!
It caused a giggle with the other users. He started to panic and whinge...just like a typical 'gopher'!
No doubt he'll snitch to the boss, when she gets home.
It caused a giggle with the other users. He started to panic and whinge...just like a typical 'gopher'!
No doubt he'll snitch to the boss, when she gets home.
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finto86
sent a lad for green and yellow strippie paint to paint the earth
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pburley
Hi in my last job I sent a lad down to our local supplier to ask for a long wait (metric) the supplier got the joke straight away and had him standing there for over an hour. cracking.
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MUFC1999
An apprentice painter on site got sent for tartan paint once, came back calling the shop staff idiots for not stocking it.
I got dunked in one of those big blue buckets plasterers use for their water and then had a bag of plaster thrown at me, that took a while to come out and my mum wasn't best pleased when I walked in.
At school on work experience, one lad went to fords. Boss sends him over to vauxhall one day for some Fallopian tubes.
I got dunked in one of those big blue buckets plasterers use for their water and then had a bag of plaster thrown at me, that took a while to come out and my mum wasn't best pleased when I walked in.
At school on work experience, one lad went to fords. Boss sends him over to vauxhall one day for some Fallopian tubes.
done this after it was done to meguys i worked with screwed a boys toolbox to the floor.
he picked it up in a rush and broke his wrist
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GStueyXR
When I was a lad, I got hung naked by the feet from the mech arm of a JCB and driven up to the office of the company secratary and hung outside her window.... Think I got a semi-woody
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gawain
thats out of order especially for an app who has just started on low wage if that.
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JimTheSpark
Back when I was at school, I must have been about 15 I did my work experience at a printers.
Around an hour into the first day a a few of the fellas ask me to go down the road and get some invisible ink and a long weight. I had alrady been warned about a few of the pranks they might try and play and cottoned on that they were trying to wind me up.
I left them saying yea no problem and went home.
When I turned up the following day they said where did you go, your were gone all day. I said see the long weight you asked for. I look it at home infront of the tele!
I had a very easy going time for the rest of the week
Around an hour into the first day a a few of the fellas ask me to go down the road and get some invisible ink and a long weight. I had alrady been warned about a few of the pranks they might try and play and cottoned on that they were trying to wind me up.
I left them saying yea no problem and went home.
When I turned up the following day they said where did you go, your were gone all day. I said see the long weight you asked for. I look it at home infront of the tele!
I had a very easy going time for the rest of the week
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gawain
remember when i was sent to go and get some elbow grese :s .
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