Jokes on your apprentice

[Sparky-Tom]

Ever seen a tool box filled with expanding foam.....

I saw that in my last place! Theres something fulfilling about seeing that person who noboday likes; trying to dig his tools out

He also had a metal roller cab tool chest, which we spot welded the drawers together, that was funny! He couldnt grind the welds off because his tools were locked inside of his toolchest...Good times!

 

[terry451]

The other trick was the chap who insisted on an old style white china mug, sort seen in cafes a few years back. A small hole in the bottom filled in with white soap.........hot tea, soft soap..... lasted a few mins...

 

[Notsosmart]

30 years ago (omg) my 1st week consisted of avoiding long weights, refusing to get a box of milli-amps, dodging pellets of putty fired out of conduit only to get told by an increasingly frustrated spark to ask around (a large industrial) site to see if i could get a skook (it was noisy) & don't return until i had some.

So off i trot & after asking several other sparks for skicks, skoks & other variations upon a theme i encounter Dick Hares, [honest (he was known as pubic for short)the biggest, nicest wind-up merchant you will ever meet], he tells me "sky-hooks is what you want boy, go & see the Holiday Hall foreman (notorious miserable ******* i find out later) he will put put you straight"

Holiday Hall foreman shouting " I DON'T KNOW IF THEY ARE TAKING THE **** OUT OF YOU OR ME ,JUST **** OFF (he was in a good mood), turning sharply on my heels, my face as red as a beetroot half of the site is there howling with laughter ~ I didn't live it down for years (I'm still scarred by it)
It back-fired on the spark for a while as he had to get his own Chalk line, (yeh right; a line of black-board chalks!) draw tape (ok give me a pencil; i'll draw you a tape) etc.

 

[jellen]

was talking to my mate about this and forgot about a classic one that happend to him. During our apprenticeship he thought it would be funny to screw the plumbers toolbox to the floor. 2 days later my mates looking for his tools the plumber says to him there outside mate, sorry they were in my way, he goes out to see his tool box on fire with all his tools inside. hes running round trying to find something to put it out with, and the painter gives him turps! ive never laughed so much in my life

 

[Sparky-Tom]

was talking to my mate about this and forgot about a classic one that happend to him. During our apprenticeship he thought it would be funny to screw the plumbers toolbox to the floor. 2 days later my mates looking for his tools the plumber says to him there outside mate, sorry they were in my way, he goes out to see his tool box on fire with all his tools inside. hes running round trying to find something to put it out with, and the painter gives him turps! ive never laughed so much in my life

Thats the funniest thing ive head in ages!

 

[AmberK]

i once remember betting one of the lads a fiver that i could fit into some flexible fan ducting,having got into the ducting and looking like a giant blue catapiller i was promptly gaffa taped up and push over. Much to the amusement of the other trades lol.

 

[Mac]

Back in the old days when i was still doing my apprenticeship.I was working at London Bridge when apprentices were initiated big style.The sparks and older apprentices grabbed hold of a new apprentice,stripped him and put him into a pair of overalls.Stuck a broomstick through the arms of the overalls and crucified him at the top of the scaffolding overlooking the River Thames.Those were the days when health and safety wasn't as strict

 

[leekemp85]

The plaster bag challenge was the best thing i have seen on site

It wasn't recorded but this will give you an idea
YouTube - The Apprentice Challenge!

 

[Mac]

The plaster bag challenge was the best thing i have seen on site

It wasn't recorded but this will give you an idea
YouTube - The Apprentice Challenge!

Great stuff.I'll try that on the wife

 

[scotsparky]

£20 if you you will be sleeping on the sofa for a month!

 

[Mac]

Can you still get skirting ladders and sky hooks at the wholesalers

 

[alland1979]

aye mate, next to the tartan paint. Another favourite was being sent to the store for a "long stand". you would be left for 10 mins then the storeman would ask you "was that long enough?"

 

[scotsparky]

please note


Sky hook is a brand of Hanglider as well as other things including a band (googled


As for long stand and Tartan Paint wellllllllllllllllllllllll thats just a good giggle.

 

[jacobaz]

when i was an apprentice i was told to go an ask for 10 meters of fallopian tubing, i thought it was some sort of tube lighting

 

[Mac]

Hi and welcome to the forum.I could have given you that after my daughter was born

aye mate, next to the tartan paint. Another favourite was being sent to the store for a "long stand". you would be left for 10 mins then the storeman would ask you "was that long enough?"

A long weight in my days

 

[jacobaz]

Hi and welcome to the forum.I could have given you that after my daughter was born


A long weight in my days

and mine, and i'm still waiting!!!!

 

[gaffer]

Not really a trick on an apprentice,but al the same funny for me!
A mate and I were working for a data company weekends in a bank.There was also two sparkies from another company working along side us.These two lads thought it very funny every time our back was turned to hide our drills,hand tools and snag our cables.
After along day of this we decided to leave a bit early,anyway we went down to the underground car park where our vans were parked,and joy of joys they had left their van unlocked.
We switched their heater onto full and filled all the heater vents with chalk dust from our chalk lines,then turned the stereo up full and left.
Twenty minutes later I had a phone call from them which I cant put here,I laughted so much I had to pull off the road!!!!
Needless to say I double check my van is locked when I see those two lads!

 

[jellen]

thats classic

 

[BangFlash]

Explained the basics of fault finding to a app on the way to a job. Pulled up "go and knock on and see if hes in just say..."

KNOCK KNOCK

"Alright mate electrician, here to split you're ring"

 

[Mark.W]

Explained the basics of fault finding to a app on the way to a job. Pulled up "go and knock on and see if hes in just say..."

KNOCK KNOCK

"Alright mate electrician, here to split you're ring"

HaHa brilliant.....

 

[Modernelectric]

lol me and my mate used to love telling the old dears we would have to split there ring! rofl. classic

 

[BangFlash]

My fav story is a app fresh out of pampers with shiny new tools. We used to nick his tools and hide them playing a 'colder, warmer' game. So he bought a pad lock, knocked out the hinges and replaced them. So he got a expensive box with closed hinges, Problem solved? Not with a small drill bit and some expanding foam!

 

[Jono Pashley]

My fav story is a app fresh out of pampers with shiny new tools. We used to nick his tools and hide them playing a 'colder, warmer' game. So he bought a pad lock, knocked out the hinges and replaced them. So he got a expensive box with closed hinges, Problem solved? Not with a small drill bit and some expanding foam!

I hope he runs your gear over with the van if your doing stupid **** like covering his tools in expanding foam.

 

[scotsparky]

i am all for a bit of fun but damaging the guys tools is out of order thats how he will be making a living remember

 

[Spudnik]

Keep it civil please fellas.

 

[Bromd123]

In a previous retail job i was sent for some rubber nails and a left handed screwdriver!

Ive also been asked for sky hooks and rocking horse **** in my younger days lol

 

[the1jock]

Bit of a long one this but still makes me chuckle,
workingin a factory in Kent a young kid came in for work experiance, one week he was so full of it and we were all told on threat of lossing our jobs that we couldnt touch the work experiance kids. this one kids the loud one actually came back for a job and was given one as an apprentice fitter. the factory was in sections the kid got stuck in our section with the top fitter supposidly to get him off on the right foot. well on day one the fitter got out his old spirit level Oh dear the bubble has burst, son got to the stores and get another, off he went,
storeman i need a new bubble for pauls level.
storeman, has it got square ends or round.
app, ill go and find out, Paul has it got square ends or round,
Paul, its got round
app storemen its got round ends
storeman, sorry son none left, but i have square ended ones, go see if that will do
app, paul he only has square ended ones, paul OK get one and i will teach you to file off the square end of a bubble to make it fit.
app, storeman a square neded bubble will do paul will teach me to file the ends, storeman goeas away and returns to say he dropped the last one there are none left.
app, Paul the storemen dropped the last one there are none left. coincidently along walks the production chasser all suited and booted.
Paul, app go see that man and tell him there are no bubbles left and what we need to be ordered. you will soon learn the system.
app, excuse me but i have to ask you to order some more bubbles some with round ends we need now and the storemen tells me there is also none with square ends
prodution chasser, who do you think i am i dont order things go and see that man up there, end of factory has large office with glasss wall.
app of he goes up to the man and askes to order the bubbles.
the Man is the Factory General Manager. the app is in tears has to go home to recover
everone ealse is denying it to this day.

 

[Jonesy83]

when i 1st started work my 1st day i was on site on top of a cherry picker wiring up a roller shutter door on an old aircrat hanger the door was only about 2 metres high but was a good 15 metres up so it can be opened to get the planes tail in

anyway i was wearing an harness and it wasnt tied to anything anyway the git who i was working with decided to hook my harness on the girder at the top of the building without me realising it then lowered the lift leaving me with a high pitch voice for the day

got him back next day he left his phone in the van while i was sitting in the van while he was paying for the diesel on a friday afternoon i set his alarm on his phone to 4 am so he got a rude awakening at 4 in the morning on his day off

that one is still famous 5 years later funnily enough no one at the firm lets me use their phone anymore

 

[ChristianG]

Before the days of becoming an electrician, I used to do roofing as a youngster.
Well one of the new boys got told to ask the scaffolders for a red saw ring piece for our red bowsaw we used to cut the battens. The whole site was in stiches.

Another one was on a really hot summers day we would set up another ladder to the top of the scaffolding and then 2 of us would get a big black bin about 1/4 full of freezing cold water and take it to the top of the scaffold.

We would then wait till one of the new labourers started coming up the ladder to fetch more tiles down and empty the water over them. So funny seeing them go into mild shock.

Few dead bird carcasses in people sandwhich's now and then too. Nailing backs of boots onto joists.

Now at the age of 32 I am getting the odd IR test sent through me.

 

[Darkwood]

Old days one again, was on the top of some shoddy scaffolding banging caddie clips on as i hit the first caddy on i got a shock up my arm, thinking i just knocked my funny bone i tried again and again i got a shock, scratching my head i got my mate to throw my testers up which showed no voltage present, after several minutes i gave in to the laughter of my mate at the bottom with a megger atached to the scaffolding and girder and timing it just right not to cause suspician, gotta admit he got me good but dont think the health and safety would like someone meggering a workmate 25ft up while leaning over a scaffold nowadays, bloody red tape cant have o fun anymore.

 

[piperm]

i once had my works 24v drill robbed off my and handed to the sites canteen cook .. then the sparks made me go and beg her to give it me back.. eventhough they gave it her in the first place..

ive seen them get a fellow apprentice to go to the wholesalers to fetch some skyhooks and a replacement bubble for their spirit level

i've had a kid come out to me and ask me to give them the silencer for a 110v drill .. and i've had it on my van.. ( we wound him up a treat)

and i've had left and right wrote on my steelies in my time for a joke

trying to think of more

 

[Chunky]

Great reading these tales of apprenticeship wind ups.One of my faves is sending the apprentice at any new jobs into the offices to ask for a Mr Hugh Jardon.Some of the looks on the secretaries faces are a picture.
When I was a boy I was once nailed to the floor through my clothing,doused in water(I was told it was petrol)and all through break I had matches being flicked at me.Not funny at the time but looking back it was really a right of passage.Could probably sue for something like that now.
Definetley agree that it brought everybody closer together and you looked forward to the day when you were actually allowed to wind the new boys up and you would feel then you have arrived.Happy days.

 

[Graeme Harrold]

In the Army, higher cost or "nice to have" tools require officail "write off" paperwork signing off by a senior person. Classic is sending a new lad to the office holding a big axe or 12lb sledge hammer with one of these pieces of paper. Only thing written on it is a message along the lines of "give me the rest of the day off or I smash your f*@king desk up!!!!!

 

[f1ngerz]

we tied a gobby apprentice up on the roof put a cloth bag on his head and said we were gonna pee on him! out comes the cold tea ! screamed like a little girl ! lol.
I used to get a 2by4 ala timmy mallet on top of my hard hat if I wasnt paying attention!

 

[pmac10]

i was sent for a bucket of blue sparks (apparently the welder had an urgent need for them)
witnessed a gobby apprentice in raf germany, duct taped hand/foot/mouth, thrown on a flat bed ldv, and dispatched under a hanger drainage pipe during a torrential rainstorm of a rival sqadron.
members of that squadron could undoubtedly continue this thread.

 

[Jason Smith]

Vacuum flask sent miles across a field having been taped to a coat hanger and slid off down the wire . Plumbers favorite screwdriver missing, spent ages trying to find it, eventually found by the sparky team under some bin liners and taped to center of the shower screen he was fitting, although at face level he failed to spot it and was getting very funny towards the end of the day, it was pointed out to him before he went home in a strop !!

 

[Brian Boyd]

I was working on a school refurb and we happened to be in the biology labs. Of course we found yellow rats in the old fridges and just couldn`t resist putting rat sandwiches into apprentices lunch box. He was so shocked he just said "Thats weird lunch my mum made me today" lol. I near wet myself at his response thinkin his mum gave it to him.

Other one was we were sitting in front of van at break with apprentice in the middle. He hands his cup of tea to the spark and asks him to throw that out the window so of course cup and all is fired out the window. Think he just wanted his cup emptied lol.

When i was leaving the 1st firm i worked for they tried to get me few times and in the end there were 6 of them came and tied me up and covered my manly regions in cutting compound then metal filings and then good squirt of yellow77 as well. Its a nightmare to get out even head and shoulders didn`t work. Had to use scissors in the end.

 

[Round Man]

we told one app who was scared of heights that it was his job to put the xmas tree on top of the crane.
then run an armoured cable up for the lights lol
He had 2 days off to avoid doing it.

Filled anothers up with plaster dust while was not looking then told him that H+S were coming everyone put your hats on quick.

Also seen an app told to fill in the firebreak where the trunking had passed thru, when he returned 6 hours later he had fully encased the whole 6" 150m run of trunking all cut and taped neatly.
nearly cried when he found out.

 

[scotsparky]

Roundman i know its off thread but reead your email addy.

it reads Round Stool Distribution. I have never seen a square or trianguilar stoo and would be straight to the doc of i did! As for disributing them sure there are some people wanting them but not me!

sorry about it being off tread just noticed it.

 

[Round Man]

its meant to be noticed like that its a way of getting people to remember you!!
same as the "big or small we got the right tool!" tag line lol