Saw this poster today at work ;)

[alarm man]

maybe she needs some encouragement...you know...to feel helpful like...
here this will inspire:

take away the bottle and i think she has it spot on...:coolgleamA:

 

[Robinwood]

View attachment 13591

Am i the only one who understood this image in the wrong way at first ?

 

[Geordie Spark]

sparks had wives like these once,be prepared for abuse if you show it to your lass....that i can vouch for..:shocked:

The Good Wife's Guide

I have no need to show that to Wor Lass cos she's just like that anyway ..... absolute perfection she is.


(I have to say that cos she reads my posts on here)

 

[Geordie Spark]

all these gadgets and mines still a lazy ****....that was typed while im doing the dinner and the dishes..somethings gone wrong somewhere...:chef:

Ye just need a bigger stick !!! :30:

 

[Paul.M]

~Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

~Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

~Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Just printed these few rules off and stuck them on the fridge for when she gets home from work. My next thread maybe "Has any one got a spare room for the night?"

 

[trev]

My next thread maybe "Has any one got a spare room for the night?"

More like can anyone give me a lift to the hospital mate.

 

[trev]

I said to my wife last week "I am the master of this house and you will do exactly as I wish, you should ensure a regular supply of tea and biscuits without me having to request them. You will prepare me a sumptuous 3 course meal this evening, when it is finished and you have washed up we will go to bed and have the kind of sex that I want, your needs are secondary. Now tell me who you think will be brushing my hair tomorrow?"
She looked me straight in the eye and said "Well my first guess is the undertaker"

 

[WILLRUK]

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY AN ENGLISH GIRL

Three friends married women from different parts of the world…

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from England . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

 

[alarm man]

Ye just need a bigger stick !!! :30:

i was thinking more cattle prod...:bucktooth:

 

[Paul.M]

Thanks Willruk that made me laugh :rofl:


Funny but so true.

 

[Paul.M]

More like can anyone give me a lift to the hospital mate.

I'm ok Trev, she has seen it and instead of calling an ambulance I'm calling a take away because she's not cooking tonight for me! I know what side of bread is buttered (or what side of her legs are buttered )

 

[tidyboiler]

I have no need to show that to Wor Lass cos she's just like that anyway ..... absolute perfection she is.


(I have to say that cos she reads my posts on here)

Plus I am frighteningly accurate with an air rifle.:95:

 

[Geordie Spark]

Plus I am frighteningly accurate with an air rifle.:95:

:iagree: she is an' she's canny wi' a shotgun an' all.

But she's not ower clivvor wi' a pistol are ye pet ...

 

[tidyboiler]

:iagree: she is an' she's canny wi' a shotgun an' all.

But she's not ower clivvor wi' a pistol are ye pet ...

Bent barrel pet......................:59:

 

[trev]

How man Tidyboila wu divvent wanna knaa aboot Geordie's problems wirrees pistol hinny

 

[Geordie Spark]

Bent barrel pet......................:59:

Yes pet ..... if you say so pet. :rofl: :love:

Anyway, this is a sparky forum pet so ye'll need t' keep on topic.

Have ye had a Periodic Inspection lately??

 

[Geordie Spark]

How man Tidyboila wu divvent wanna knaa aboot Geordie's problems wirrees pistol hinny

It wez hor problem wi' my pistol marra ... she missed the target & shot a hole through th' waalll inte the chalet next door !!!!! :46: <<< ------ that's the gadgeee whey wez next door at th' time !!!!

 

[trev]

EICRs these days marra

 

[trev]

It wez hor problem wi' my pistol marra ... she missed the target & shot a hole through th' waalll inte the chalet next door !!!!! :46: <<< ------ that's the gadgeee whey wez next door at th' time !!!!

Yees dossin doon the beach in them shallies like?

 

[Geordie Spark]

EICRs these days marra

Oh aye ....... aah forgot marra.