A recent one from Stoke (actually that may explain it!).
I was carrying out an EICR for a management company on communal areas of blocks of apartments.
It's a reasonably well todo block gated with nice lake views, so on arrival the gates were closed with a number to call for access I called.the number. A bloke appears opens the gates gives me the code and disappears back into his flat mentioning he's going in to carry on cooking his breakfast. Ok I start to walk the site looking for obvious issues and trying to find the consumer unit.
I discover the consumer unit in an under croft that I drive through to get in, it located below a window. I open the door to the cupboard housing the unit an glance though the window.
The same bloke is stood there stark b0//0+£ naked cooking sasauges, but he took the spoon he was cooking with from the pan and put it on his nuts!
I jumped back and wandered off to carry on the same bloke appears later on to have a chat about how it's going etc and I couldn't look him in the eye and he stank of sasauges....