Things an Electrician would never say

I love paying the NIC their pocket money. It gives me a nice warn feeling inside and makes me feel so responsible.
 
Yeah…it was the 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] date and I’ve got a real taste for it now. Should have read the instructions a little more carefully. It did say “Lick and Stick” and I only licked. Let that be a lesson for you boys and girls. Always read the instructions!


Anyways, back to the topic: Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!:wink_smile:
 
Yes lady Voldemort, I know your favourite electrician smashed your back door in at NIC HQ, while you were on the phone sexing up the dangers of electricity for him. It must have felt like a large wardrobe falling on you with a very small key but you have to remember that his bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired and he does enjoy his caped crusader routine. The only way to slow down an ox like him, is to have a couple of 24V maglocks fitted to your passage door. One at the top and one at the bottom! Just remember to stick a “Mind The Step” sign in front of it.
 
I’m not the Messiah, I’m just a very naughty boy.:biggrin:
 
"How inconsiderate of me, it never occurred to me when you asked me to price the rewire of your restaurant, kitchen, takeaway and the five flats above them that you don't ever pay anyone more than the minimum wage and you never pay more than cost price for materials. Yes I see your point it's only a few bits of wire and shouldn't take more than a week and that's with the restaurant and takeaway staying open. No we don't charge extra for working nights and yes I'll be there with my men at 05.30 tomorrow."
 
Yes old "friend" of course I'll do it all for free, because I went to school with you 20 years ago so that means we're "friends". Even though I haven't been out for a beer with you for over 15 years and the only time you ever ring is when you want something.
 
DuaneMHunt1976 said:
and do you have a fetish for welsh tarts
Click to expand...
So many fetishes and so little time!:wink:




This is the renowned Guantanamo Bay water-boarding and cell-bar holiday resort and not Butlins, so in your room the spot lights will be staying on all night. We at the maintenance department pride ourselves on the high standards delivered. Tomorrow we will be familiarizing you with the Modelski Chain Rule. There will be no expense spared for your vacation Squire!
 
tigerpaul said:
Yes old "friend" of course I'll do it all for free, because I went to school with you 20 years ago so that means we're "friends". Even though I haven't been out for a beer with you for over 15 years and the only time you ever ring is when you want something.
Click to expand...

Got some friends / people I know just like that that think your a best mate even though you've only known them a few months,
 
Yes of course I will match the Eastern European quote you have had, I will even discount that too...
 
I love it when the un-skilled immigrant boarder screws my cable, it gives me a chance to waste my valuable time trying to find out where he did it. Just imagine if he could see the cables before he put the board up it MIGHT help.
 
Customer says ; Didn't the kitchen fitters make a nice job of my kitchen ,
You say; Yes those kitchen fitters are good lads they did a real nice job of drilling and screwing through my cables, never mind you will be paying anyway , nice job ....
 
R G said:
Customer says ; Didn't the kitchen fitters make a nice job of my kitchen ,
You say; Yes those kitchen fitters are good lads they did a real nice job of drilling and screwing through my cables, never mind you will be paying anyway , nice job ....
Click to expand...

On the same topic lol:-

"what do you mean by ""The kitchen fitters with tools from the pound shop"" did the electrics but only 4 out of the 8 sockets work???"

"They said the junction boxes are under the floor!! You get your overdraft extended luv whilst I get my hammer out and smash your nice new real slate flooring."

(this actually happened! Customer still pursuing costs from the kitchen fitters, feel sorry for her) Sockets now work great, floor looks bloody awful!!!!!
 
I asked that babe Emma if she could teach me how to bend pipe. She said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
 
"Sorry Mrs Customer, I was not expecting you home sssooo soon!! Sorry that you caught me singing and dancing to the 'Best of Justin Bieber' album whilst in my leopard print underwear :confused5:

forum fun # 14.jpg
 
I always worry about the safety of some apprentice, especially the one that is back-chatting me right now.:jester:
 
Madam, you’re not bright enough to change the light bulb, that’s why I have to do it.
 
Lady customer asks if you manage to move the bedroom furniture etc on your own ,
Reply;
Couldn't help but notice the blow up doll under your bed , keeps hubby happy I suppose...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
R G said:
Couldn't help but notice the blow up doll under your bed , keeps hubby happy I suppose...
Click to expand...
You never know, it might be hers.:wink:
　


So… apprentice No 1 and apprentice No 2, do either of you have any experience being a horse’s @rse?
 
So Emma, regardless of whether it’s kinky, naughty or just plain wrong. I still want it!:winkiss:
 
Ahhh…so you don’t want to pay the invoice. Well, I hope we can still be friends after I tasered you.
 
I have no idea how to do your job but my clipboard says you’re doing it wrong.
 
When she asked me to come over and tear up her carpet. Installing a socket on the landing is not what I thought she meant.
 
The cable is definitely stuck up there. We may have to use the ferret.
 
The experts in my head are fighting, my imaginary friend is running around with my cutters, and one of my personalities has whipped out a neon screw driver. Who the **** is playing jumanji in my head?:D
 
Alright fellow forumers! I've been a member round here for nigh on 5 years and this forum rocks! Today I got reminded about why that is. Paul.M and Phil said we couldn't make 'The Kamikaze Story' but yet here we are :jester:. I would hazard a guess that my vernacular has become rather discombobulated, whilst making this homage to the lexicon of colloquial nerdisms :biggrin:. So cheer's to ya'll for making time over the years to help make this thread. And fluffy handcuffs and Miss “I can’t count to 72” Clancy hardly got a mention….lol

Anyways….coming soon - Electrician, the cowboy years!:joker:
 

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Things an Electrician would never say
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