Urgent. Comedy replies to scammer

[littlespark]

I got an email this morning apparently from the guy that runs our local email pub quiz.
Asking for a favour.

I think he wants a job done, so I reply.

“He” comes back with a story about how he’s forgotten his nieces birthday, and wants to send an amazon card, but can’t get out to the shops.

“well, I’m near a supermarket“.

By this time, I’ve noticed the Reply To address has changed to some random gmail account...

“Could you buy £100 card, scratch it off and photograph the number. I’ll forward it onto her, and pay you back when I see you.“

Absolute BS now.... I can tell by the long words he uses and signing off the email with Xx’s..... We are not that close.


So... what can I say now to this little crook?
I was thinking of replying with something like
“Sorry, they didn’t have a £100, but I can get 20 x £5 ones for tomorrow”

Something quick. They’ve already asked if I’ve got the card. (So some humorous excuse why I email back late) ; )

 

[snowhead]

Part of the reply could include,

I was going to be passing by your house anyway so I've dropped it through the letter box.

I assume the pub quiz person has had their email hacked and the hacker has used the contacts to send this to all of them.

 

[littlespark]

Part of the reply could include,
I was going to be passing by your house anyway so I've dropped it through the letter box.

Yes. Thought of that one, but the email said he was “out of town” but needed to send it ASAP.
I was thinking of using the scammers gmail account to register on some porno site.... but I don’t know any

 

[snowhead]

Just say you're going to drop it in then and they'll reply in a panic giving you chance to continue with the replies.

Not worth messing with their email address, it'll be a one time use then they'll use another address.

 

[telectrix]

email back asking for his bank details.

 

[FatAlan]

As Tel. Ask for his bank details then report it to the bank. Or just pass details of an already used Amazon card.

 

[ferg]

Reply back saying your mate, a Nigerian Prince, is having trouble accessing his funds but for a mere £1K admin fee you can unlock the funds and have them temporarily transferred into your account, for which you will be paid 10%, roughly £1M.
After which you transfer the remaining £9M back to him.
Unfortunately you only have £500 but if he gives you the other £500 you will split the £1M 50/50.

 

[telectrix]

or say that Amazon are only offering trips up a south american jungle river.£5000 deposit.

 

[buzzlightyear]

Part of the reply could include,

I was going to be passing by your house anyway so I've dropped it through the letter box.

I assume the pub quiz person has had their email hacked and the hacker has used the contacts to send this to all of them.

tell them you are on a boat up the orry noko and can not send him the funds
At the moment. Ask him to send his photo
Of him self to see if it fits the interpol.

 

[littlespark]

The Nigerian prince one sounds good.

ive replied with the lack of £100 amazon cards at the local supermarket, and I’ll try somewhere else tomorrow. (Give me time to think of something else)
Also deliberately called him by the wrong name.

 

[buzzlightyear]

ive replied with the lack of £100 amazon cards at the local supermarket, and I’ll try somewhere else tomorrow. (Give me time to think of something else)
Also deliberately called him by the wrong name.

Dear sir have waited on the cornor near
The local bank, you did not show up so
I have given the monie to the local tramp
So you missed the monie.

 

[Phil L]

Tell him you are sorry for the delay but you were in the bookies, you have won big and will send £100 tomorrow plus an extra £100 as you are in a good mood after winning at the bookie, ask him to remind you in the morning as you are out celebrating

 

[Vortigern]

It's ok mate I have sent it on to the neice via my wife, she said a big thank you!

 

[James]

I bought a £100 gift card from argos by mistake, I think its my age dear.
I remembered when i was in sainsburys and realised that I had been a fool and got the wrong one.
So I have bought the Amazon one too.

I don't have a camera phone, at my age, I cant see the screen clearly anyway.
my son/daughter is coming round for dinner tomorrow, they are much better than me at all this new technology and i am sure they will be able to send you a picture of the one you wanted.
problem is i will still have the other £100 card that i have no use for, if you want that too, you can have it for £80 because it will cost me £20 to get a taxi to the shop for a refund.

If you send me your postal address of where you are staying, I will put them both in the post to you tonight.
Also, because of covid-19 they are not allowing visitors to the home at the moment,

so i will enclose my bank details and address in case you haven't got them with you.
you can either post me a cheque for £180 or do a bank transfer when you have received them.

.................................
when you have an address, get a sheet of card, fold it in half to be card shape.
decorate the card however you would like!!!
put in envelope (make sure it is a padded envelope and add some weight to it)
put the lowest value stamp you can get on it, ensuring it is nowhere near enough to cover the postage cost.
ensure that you put a return address on the envelope ( the address of the local police station is a good one)

they will then have to pay for the excess postage and the handling fee before they receive the "gift cards"

play them at there own game.
You get the last laugh.

 

[Moley]

I was thinking of using the scammers gmail account to register on some porno site.... but I don’t know any

Hmmm.....I might, sorry, a friend of mine might be able to help you out there

 

[James]

Hmmm.....I might, sorry, a friend of mine might be able to help you out there

www. gas heaters .com

(without the spaces)
always a good one to catch the unwary!!

 

[Timbo]

Here you go.....

[automerge]1601322235[/automerge]
Guaranteed used ?

 

[littlespark]

Perfect.
I’ve been looking for a used card in the house, but we just chop them up when we’re finished with them


Um.... you know everyone’s going to be checking that IS used?

 

[OnlQQker]

Enter the claim code correctly!

 

[UNG]

Pity Amazon can't report it to the police when the used card is used by the scammers

 

[pirate]

I hate these scam emails...I seldom reply, but if I do it's short and to the point and tells them to do something involving procreation and travel

 

[telectrix]

same with the indian phone calls.i tell them i can'tunderstand their accent, and to put the cowboys on.

 

[UNG]

I get fed up with the number of callers claiming to be from BT my reply is can we go through some security to verify you are BT, my one and only question is what is your E.I.N. some try to give a number and usually fail to give a valid one and others just end the call. On one occasion one caller challenged me on how I knew it was an invalid E.I.N. clearly trying to get information to use in the future, needless to say I didn't give them anything that they could use