Things an Electrician would never say

[Phil]

btw will someone hold it up while i change the consumer unit

 

[Burnt Fingers]

I know - its a long, hard to spell name, and i appreciate he didn't have any certificates with him. Of course I will sign one for you.




methinks Fingers had a bad experience today? lol

 

[Wiredspark]

Eenie meenie minenie mo
in which live terminal does this go
if in doubt, get the long noses out,
jam it in and watch it blow.

 

[Kamikaze]

Oh dear, bang goes that theory! Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

 

[Kamikaze]

Did you know madam, banging your head against a head board uses 150 calories an hour.

 

[telectrix]

I can't get a good fixing on the drywall for your shower, Madam, but never mind, the 10mm cable and the 15mm water pipe will hold it.

 

[Kamikaze]

Oh look, the 'Intel Inside' sticker is starting to peel off your switch.

 

[gutterball]

i just love working in students accommodation the rooms are so clean and tidy

 

[telectrix]

i just love working in students accommodation the rooms are so clean and tidy

you need to hire a JCB and a skip to tidy your work area. and that's before you start. anyway, students should not have the benefit of electricity. they're dangerous enough with fire extinguishers

 

[nickblake]

i just love working in students accommodation the rooms are so clean and tidy

At least you dont have to move the stinking smelly rubbish as it will move its self

 

[nickblake]

Mmmmmm what i nice fragrented room now whats that called

 

[Damon]

Yeah yeah of course im fully qualified electrician....I done a 3 day course up in the north east this week!!

 

[Kamikaze]

What was that madam? You want me to come upstairs and make love to you? It will have to be one or the other.

 

[nickblake]

Yeah yeah of course im fully qualified electrician....I done a 3 day course up in the north east this week!!

Gee says the doctor think i need to send you to see a cardiologist .................sounds like a golf

 

[Kamikaze]

If the 17th edition is the solution to all our problems, can we please have the problem back?

 

[accordfire]

That's not how you bypass the meter......THIS is how you do it......

 

[Kamikaze]

You gave the job to someone else in my absence, they installed the work in my absence, so they can sort out their own mess in my absence.

 

[telectrix]

it's all OK now Madam. That naughty little trip thingy won't trip any more as I've linked it out. You're totally safe, however, coz. of that nice shiny rod with the nice coloured green wire is better than the nusiance trip thingy.

 

[accordfire]

No, no tea or coffee for me. It'll only get in the way of all this work I need to do. Oh, really, I never eat cakes either.

 

[1shortcircuit]

Tools? you help yourself. Just make sure that it's the insulated ones you use for hammering into concrete walls won't you and don't worry about putting them back because I don't need them

 

[bugsy]

sorry luv you'd better go and put some clothes on , when I said you need a longer rod I think you got the wtong impression

 

[Kamikaze]

Don't panic, just think of it as landing more vertically than normal

 

[Wiredspark]

Of course I can make it to your house in the Countryside today madam. We electricians not only drive super vans which are unaffected by snow and ice but the elves come round to our houses on snowy nights and dig us all out.

 

[Kamikaze]

Well, I hope you enjoyed the tour of the four "Sparky the electrocutioner" murders, and I hope you like the site that I've chosen for the fifth.

 

[Kamikaze]

If space & time are the same as Einstein said, can I be five miles late please?

 

[Kamikaze]

Of course it was I that invented the electric light bulb madam. Now turn it off and pay your bill please!

 

[timo1]

"Its a bit chilly in this loft"

 

[Paul.M]

Really glad I part exchanged my 4x4 for a berlingo front wheel drive van that can't drive up hills in this snow.

 

[accordfire]

Of course snow is no problem for us - we saw it coming and spent our last 85 grand on a snow plough love, just for your £65 call out to replace blown lamps....were you christened Dick, or did that name just come after?

 

[jase]

yeah you can have sockets wherever you want, the walls??? no no need to ruin your wallpaper if you buy them wireless ones