Your getting confused here the 25mm is the minimum by regulation not the size they are suggesting, you are at a stage now where you really need to get a competent Electrician on board with experience in commercial and industrial circuit design, ensure that this is there field and you don't get a souped up domestic electrician out of his comfort zone, there are too many questions to ask and info you need to provide us, a simple missed bit of info can be vital to a correct install.
Comments regarding discrimination earlier between consumer and DNO are usually not an issue as long as your fuses are less than or equal to theirs... normally we fit type II fuses where the DNO will fit type III or IV.
As the incoming N on the DNO will be possibly combined with Earth you will need an Electrician to establish that any consumer cabling upgrade is correctly done regarding the Earthing system
The original question seems to have been answered by yourself through enquiry but TBH this was the only way it could have been done with liaising with DNO as you will have been allotted a set KVA for which you will have a standing charge, if your supply was upgraded yrs ago without the alloted KVA set it could be the case they could turn around and say the supply upgrade isn't available and a very high cost of a new sub-station may have been on the cards, if you were marked up for your alloted KVA when supply was upgraded then you have been paying over the odds for your standing charge but safe guarding your KVA reserve within the local network.. this seems to be the case or you have been lucky that your requirements were still available in the local network.
We could ask you question after question and still miss crucial info as we would need to see the physical set up. I can appreciate you questioning for groundwork but this will all be normally done by your contracted electrician so don't get too involved or misunderstood info or incorrect spec's you provide may be costly and we aint talking a few quid here... we could be talking the whole cost of the install down the drain... ive seen this happen before.