best way to deal with t*#t bosses

[atm84]

So just looking for some advice as above.

I work in an office and have a senior engineer above me who feels that it is acceptable to speak to me in an aggressive and degrading manner who puts unnecessary pressure on me to complete tasks as fast as possible and then getting arsy when its not up to standard.

I have been in the industry for over 13 years and can honestly say that I have never been spoken to in this way even when I was on the tools as an apprentice (some would say I was lucky). The point is I am now an adult and expect to be spoken to with respect and NOT be treated like a child.

It is meant to be a professional environment but is far from it.

I took the job a few months ago and was told that I would have a senior engineer above me who would act as a mentor. But it is more like an old headmaster at a bording school who tries to crack the whip.

I have raised it my the Manager who told me that he does not understand why I have so much pressure put on me when I am still training and that he thinks that the senior engineer is just trying to throw his weight around as he has never been a manager before (and still isn't) and is trying to be one.

The Senior Engineer never says please or thank you and demands me to get out of my chair and 'come here'.

I will admit that I have started been more abrupt with him and answering back when he speaks to me like crap which prob infuriates him when the office is full but to be honest it infuriates me when he speaks to me like that in a full office.

I have found a number of errors in his work and pulled him up on it which he doesn't like but other ppl have agreed with him. Others in the office agree that its not acceptable how I am spoken to either.

Is it time to jump ship as I don't think ppl can really change and I need to be able to get on with him in order to learn but I find it very frustrating and its causing me to get stressed. I'm only young with a young family to think about.

I don't want to leave as I generally like it there and have only been there a few months and it wouldn't look good on my cv.

I took a massive pay cut to go work there as i was told that I would be trained up by a mentor and that it would be a good working environment with a good work life balance. I'm finding that not to be the case.

Any advice please

 

[ferg]

Have you asked him what his problem is and why he feels the need to treat you like ****e?

 

[atm84]

No and to be honest he would probably say that he doesn't. After a few weeks he told me to 'sit and shut up' and one of the Managers had a word with him. I also told him that I didn't like the way he speaks to me. But nothing has changed. I think, truthly, he doesn't like it when I question him. He gets muddled up with things, gets mixed with the what we have actually been asked to do, writes very poor emails and I sometimes point things out or question things which he doesn't like. If we are doing something wrong and something that the client hasn't asked for then I will speak up. I'm not one to just sit there and not speak up.

 

[Guest77]

Best way to deal with a ****

Next time he tells you to get out of his chair= No I like it here, can you find another to sit on
Next time he tells you to "come here"= Please speak to me like a human being and not your pet dog
Next time he speaks to you like carp= Walk away without answering back at all and go for a half hour walk, then return and act as if he isn't in the room
Next time he gets aggreassive with you= Ask him if he wants to go outside and settle it like men.

 

[Guest77]

No and to be honest he would probably say that he doesn't. After a few weeks he told me to 'sit and shut up' and one of the Managers had a word with him. I also told him that I didn't like the way he speaks to me. But nothing has changed. I think, truthly, he doesn't like it when I question him. He gets muddled up with things, gets mixed with the what we have actually been asked to do, writes very poor emails and I sometimes point things out or question things which he doesn't like. If we are doing something wrong and something that the client hasn't asked for then I will speak up. I'm not one to just sit there and not speak up.

After seeing this reply I think he sees you as a --- who thinks he knows it all hense his snappy attitude, I think the pair of you need to go and have a coffee and try to break the ice.

 

[Engineer54]

I'd take the bugger to one side myself and tell him straight to his face that you don't appreciate his belittling manner towards you, and from now on you are not going to accept it!! Make sure he knows you're being Serious too!!

Best way to deal with bullies or wannabe bullies is to stand up to them and call their bluff!!

 

[atm84]

I like it. I think if I said 'let's go out side and settle it like men' I would get the sack if I said it in front of other ppl.

Sometimes he will say 'can you come here, please!' But its his manner and tone that infuriates me. Just because he put 'please' on the end doesn't mean that he is being polite.

 

[Guest77]

I like it. I think if I said 'let's go out side and settle it like men' I would get the sack if I said it in front of other ppl.

Sometimes he will say 'can you come here, please!' But its his manner and tone that infuriates me. Just because he put 'please' on the end doesn't mean that he is being polite.

Next time he says this= smile and say my name is ? (your name) and of course how can I be of assistance ? (his name)

 

[shanky887614]

I like it. I think if I said 'let's go out side and settle it like men' I would get the sack if I said it in front of other ppl.

Sometimes he will say 'can you come here, please!' But its his manner and tone that infuriates me. Just because he put 'please' on the end doesn't mean that he is being polite.

send a letter in writing to his boss about the bullying, if it carries on then go through the police, his boss will get in hot water if he allows bullying to go on.

 

[Guest77]

send a letter in writing to his boss about the bullying, if it carries on then go through the police, his boss will get in hot water if he allows bullying to go on.

That is pointless buddy, agree with the letter, he should send an e-mail to his boss and cc it to HR if there is one as well, the police will fall about laughing mate, honest they will do nothing as it isn't worthy of sending a copper out to.

 

[shanky887614]

That is pointless buddy, agree with the letter, he should send an e-mail to his boss and cc it to HR if there is one as well, the police will fall about laughing mate, honest they will do nothing as it isn't worthy of sending a copper out to.

i mean to a actually ring the police,

What employees should do if they’re bullied or harassed
Employees should see if they can sort out the problem informally first. If they can’t, they should talk to their:

manager
human resources (HR) department
trade union representative
If this doesn’t work, they can make a formal complaint using their employer’s grievance procedure. If this doesn’t work and they’re still being harassed, they can take legal action at an employment tribunal.

https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment


if you mention the steps above in a second letter if first doesnt work then your companies hr department/boss will do something as it will make a lot more work for them otherwise

 

[Guest77]

i mean to a actually ring the police,

What employees should do if they’re bullied or harassed
Employees should see if they can sort out the problem informally first. If they can’t, they should talk to their:

manager
human resources (HR) department
trade union representative
If this doesn’t work, they can make a formal complaint using their employer’s grievance procedure. If this doesn’t work and they’re still being harassed, they can take legal action at an employment tribunal.

https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment

As a last gasp situation yes okay I agree, he has a long way to go first though, and I agree with all your other points previous to the police part.

 

[atm84]

I agree the police isn't the right way. I asked my Manager for a review and I mentioned that I feel micromanaged and am not given chance to breath but I didn't mention the agro that I get but he is aware of it vaguely.

 

[Guest77]

I agree the police isn't the right way. I asked my Manager for a review and I mentioned that I feel micromanaged and am not given chance to breath but I didn't mention the agro that I get but he is aware of it vaguely.

Out of interest atm84, how old are you? and how old is he?

 

[atm84]

After being with the company for 15 weeks I had a form to fill out from HR to ask how i was settling in and I did quite clearly write that I did not like the way that I was spoken to by the Senior Engineer. But nothing has changed.

 

[atm84]

I am 30 years old, he is in his early 50's.

 

[atm84]

No and to be honest he would probably say that he doesn't. After a few weeks he told me to 'sit and shut up' and one of the Managers had a word with him. I also told him that I didn't like the way he speaks to me. But nothing has changed. I think, truthly, he doesn't like it when I question him. He gets muddled up with things, gets mixed with the what we have actually been asked to do, writes very poor emails and I sometimes point things out or question things which he doesn't like. If we are doing something wrong and something that the client hasn't asked for then I will speak up. I'm not one to just sit there and not speak up.

After seeing this reply I think he sees you as a --- who thinks he knows it all hense his snappy attitude, I think the pair of you need to go and have a coffee and try to break the ice.

That maybe so but if something is quite clearly wrong and could end up with the company getting in **** (which did happen on a job) then I think it needs to be highlighted. I'm not going to sit there and accept it. Where this has happened I have raised with ppl higher up who have told me to make the necessary changes then I get told by the senior engineer to leave it as he has not been officially told. Then he gets grumpy with me because I went over his head.

 

[trev]

I like it. I think if I said 'let's go out side and settle it like men' I would get the sack if I said it in front of other ppl.

So you don't say it in front of other people!
Wait till he goes off to make a cuppa and follow him into the kitchen, make sure you stand between him and the door and ask for a few minutes to have a talk, making sure that you're the one doing the talking of course. You must maintain eye contact at all times (how you hold yourself in this situation is vital for this to succeed) you want to look like you're prepared to give him a kicking but relaxed about the prospect.
You then tell him how since you've started he's treat you like something he's trodden in and how it makes you bloody annoyed (don't say anything that gives him an advantage, it annoys you. That's it)
Then tell him the options
A sort it out like men after work one night
B sort it out like adults now because you don't think he's a bad person and you'd much prefer to just clear the air and find a way forward in your working relationship.
He'll take option B guaranteed

 

[Slowhand]

Remember that because this person is senior to you at work he is not your superior.
Whatever happens don't allow him to make you lose your dignity.
Make him a coffee and put a few drops of optrex in it.
He'll spend all day on the toilet and unless he's actually got you wiping his backside he'll be too busy to bother you.

 

[shanky887614]

Remember that because this person is senior to you at work he is not your superior.
Whatever happens don't allow him to make you lose your dignity.
Make him a coffee and put a few drops of optrex in it.
He'll spend all day on the toilet and unless he's actually got you wiping his backside he'll be too busy to bother you.

exlax is another brand