P
Paul.M
Strange title I know but that's why your reading this thread.
Me and "my beloved" got home from a hard days work (well I did) at just before 7pm. She goes to put the kettle on and I hear "Paul, get in here and get this out!" I thought it would be a spider but Ho No, its a bloody pigeon that the cat has dragged in! Kitchen covered in fathers and bird poo, cat looking very pleased with itself. Pigeon in the corner shaking like Fred West at a patio convention.
I picked it up and put it in the back garden but realised that both its eyes are very badly infected and have been for a while so my honour of my cat has slipped a bit. This bird is goosed for the want of a better word.
My wife (here we go) wanted to take it to the pdsa that's close to us. My reply was "Its a pigeon, I've got a lump hammer." Ssshhheee is not impressed! "Oh no" she says looking at me as if she wants to use the lump hammer on me, "Im calling the rspca."
Almost an hour later and we are still waiting for this chap to turn up, I'm in the dog house for at least the night. I didn't help myself by saying such things like:-
"Another two of them we could have a pie."
"If you showed me this much attention, we could have a loving relationship."
Just before I went to the shop for a four pack and cigs I asked "Do we need cat food?"
"Yes"
"Do Whiskers sell pigeon flavour, obviously the cat likes it."
I've got a four pack and a fresh pack of cigs, cats been fed, wifes in a bloody awful mood with me for some reason?
It's a bloody pigeon for crying out loud. I've checked its legs and its not a prized racer, its not a cat or dog, fox, badger, red kite or any other animal that needs a helping hand if it was injured.
Btw I've called him/her muffin because I've put it in a McVities muffin box.
Don't think he will last much longer with the pdsa guy than with my hammer but it makes her feel better and may be able to get my leg over by the weekend?
Bloody pigeon.
Me and "my beloved" got home from a hard days work (well I did) at just before 7pm. She goes to put the kettle on and I hear "Paul, get in here and get this out!" I thought it would be a spider but Ho No, its a bloody pigeon that the cat has dragged in! Kitchen covered in fathers and bird poo, cat looking very pleased with itself. Pigeon in the corner shaking like Fred West at a patio convention.
I picked it up and put it in the back garden but realised that both its eyes are very badly infected and have been for a while so my honour of my cat has slipped a bit. This bird is goosed for the want of a better word.
My wife (here we go) wanted to take it to the pdsa that's close to us. My reply was "Its a pigeon, I've got a lump hammer." Ssshhheee is not impressed! "Oh no" she says looking at me as if she wants to use the lump hammer on me, "Im calling the rspca."
Almost an hour later and we are still waiting for this chap to turn up, I'm in the dog house for at least the night. I didn't help myself by saying such things like:-
"Another two of them we could have a pie."
"If you showed me this much attention, we could have a loving relationship."
Just before I went to the shop for a four pack and cigs I asked "Do we need cat food?"
"Yes"
"Do Whiskers sell pigeon flavour, obviously the cat likes it."
I've got a four pack and a fresh pack of cigs, cats been fed, wifes in a bloody awful mood with me for some reason?
It's a bloody pigeon for crying out loud. I've checked its legs and its not a prized racer, its not a cat or dog, fox, badger, red kite or any other animal that needs a helping hand if it was injured.
Btw I've called him/her muffin because I've put it in a McVities muffin box.
Don't think he will last much longer with the pdsa guy than with my hammer but it makes her feel better and may be able to get my leg over by the weekend?
Bloody pigeon.
mg_smile:
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