Serving suggestions and other daft notices

[pirate]

Hi all!
It's sad, I know...but do any of you think the "serving suggestions" are just plain stupid?

Or the adverts on petrol pumps that offer you a mobile phone charger for £3.99, with a glossy pic...and the small print says that the iPhone isn't included...

Or advertising signs that simply don't make sense...or are just plain funny...

I'll kick off with this this one...bet none of you ever thought of serving tomato ketchup like this:

Crikey! Let's reconstitute the sauce, make it back into tomatoes...and put 3 of them in a group...

 

[pirate]

and van slogans! don't you just love 'em?

 

[littlespark]

All the label on the bottle is "suggesting" is that there "may" be 3 tomatoes in the bottle... Or "tomate's" which i'm sure are like tomatoes in some way.

This is going to be a great thread if it picks up

 

[PEG]

All the label on the bottle is "suggesting" is that there "may" be 3 tomatoes in the bottle... Or "tomate's" which i'm sure are like tomatoes in some way.

This is going to be a great thread if it picks up

It's got some ketching up to do,first...

 

[pirate]

OK, this one's very inventive:

 

[pirate]

The whole idea behind a "serving suggestion" is to make sure you don't expect to get what's in the picture...apart from the ingredients...so here we have a cup of tea, and some shrubbery...perfect!

 

[Midwest]

Thats green tea, you stupid pirate.

 

[pirate]

I know what green tea is, Midwest...the stupidity is in not recognising that it should never be served in a glass cup..doh!
BTW, "stupid Pirate" is a contradiction in terms, if you know your history, unlike "stupid footballer" which is clearly tautology

 

[Squid]

It's basically a disclaimer on food packaging and is used as a legal fine print, I think it's banned in Ireland.

 

[static zap]

...so here we have a cup of tea, and some shrubbery...perfect!

...Perfect shrubbery , so insecticides were liberally applied ...!!
( A representation of the tea -before processing however you like it)
-(don't ask = 3 options ..1 a bit like soy sauce)-
Carrying on from perfect vegetation .. Not a bug ever wanted a nibble
( no need to put Glyphoshates on ingredients list ).. as healthy as DDT.

... Don't analyse your food to closely , or will find allowable rat hair count in spices , or latest sewage leak at local chippy ..
--TOO much info--!! I'll use my nose on a need to know basis.
What does Blue Roquefort go with ? Probably mildew.

 

[Midwest]

BTW, "stupid Pirate" is a contradiction in terms, if you know your history

Its an on-line game?

 

[Squid]

 

[pirate]

I very seldom travel by train, but believe it is quite normal to have sockets available for charging your phone/laptop.

Clearly, if they are not working, it must be due to a fault. Why have they screwed steel plates over all of the sockets? The notice looks pretty permanent...is this commonplace?

 

[pirate]

Maybe this explains it?

 

[pirate]

Think you'd need to go some to do this:

 

[pirate]

Still, when push comes to shove...

 

[pirate]

Any musicians out there who can hum this hit tune from the menu cover at Amadeus Cafe?
Not sure it was one of his best...

 

[telectrix]

Amadeus my arse. that's the theme tune from Bullseye.

 

[pirate]

Really?
Are you sure?

 

[telectrix]

soory.it's not bulseye. it's millionaire. and that's my final ansewr.