Funniest TV or film quotes......

[Darkwood]

Thought id start a thread just for those lines or quotes you found hilarious ...
Il pick a few from my fav' over this thread which are ...

Life on Mars (Gene Hunt) and Pheonix Nights
-------------------------------------------------------
Gene Hunt.... " he's more nervous than a very small nun on a penguin shoot "
__________
Gene Hunt... " you've got your fingers in more pies than a leper on a cookery course "
__________


Not after classic quotes unless they are funny! and can you supply the source of the quote so we can all relate to what film/TV it came from.

 

[monkeyelectric]

Blackadder to baldrick, blackadder the third: "forgive me if i'm jumping the gun baldrick or are the words i have a cunning plan marching with ill deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation"

 

[telectrix]

FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

 

[Des 56]

Before I get to thinking on the subject,this thread has got to include the Dads army classic,so lets get it out of the way

"Don't tell him Pike"

 

[Darkwood]

See my profile pic ....and add when i get home im gonna punch your mamma in the mouth!

 

[Darkwood]

Pheonix Nights - Quiz night

On the dumb table....
DJ says "and the answer to question 2 was the 'shroud of Turin' "

Lad on dumb table ..."what did we get"

His mate says " Lisa Stansfield"


We never heard the question but this really cracks me up everytime lol.

 

[monkeyelectric]

See my profile pic ....and add when i get home im gonna punch your mamma in the mouth!

What we're dealin with here is a complete lack of respect for the law! Love those films!

 

[Adam W]

Another Blackadder one:
"We're about as similar as two completely dissimilar things in a pod".

 

[monkeyelectric]

Forgive me but another blackadder from blackadders christmas carol " slam the door in their faces or i'll slam your face in the door" i do love blackadder!

 

[Adam W]

"Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain..."
(Fawlty Towers)

 

[monkeyelectric]

Rodney" it ain't there no more Del theres just a marina" Del " well can't he kip in the back of that" fools & horses

 

[Adam W]

German: Will you stop talking about the war!
Basil: Me? You started it!
German: We did not start it.
Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland...

 

[Kamikaze]

In “Only Fools and Horses” when Triggers sister was having a baby.

Mike: What name have they decided on?
Trigger: If it’s a girl they are calling it Sigourney after the actress, and if it’s a boy they are calling him Rodney after Dave.

 

[Des 56]

I may not have this one exact,but the sentiment is there

Groucho Marx
Any club that would have me as a member,I wouldn't want to join

 

[monkeyelectric]

Blackadder, Percy " oh blackadder could it be true! A nugget of purest greeeen!"

 

[Des 56]

Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me

Mae West (film unknown)

 

[bigbaddave]

Densil - Its closed
Trigger - Yes
Densil & Delboy - But i thought you said it was 24 hours
Trigger - Yeah but not at night

 

[Dean Williams]

black adder again...
we're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

 

[Darkwood]

Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me

Mae West (film unknown)

Also quoted into See no evil, Hear no evil... where he take the gun out and the big questionable bulge remains but she did look good in that towel..

 

[High Tower]

Useless move trivia, East Bound and down, the theme song from the movie was written and sung by the late Jerry Reed, who played the snowman. turns out he was a big country artist and acomplised guitarist.