I am in the middle of writing my staff review up and have just gone into my eleventh page...
I don't know if anyone else has pointed this out, but 11th page?
stop, go back, work out what the key points you want to make are, then fit this succinctly into 3-4 sides, 5 sides max (minimum 11pt text, with paragraph breaks) - bullet points are your friend.
no manager is going to appreciate being made to spend ages reading 11 pages of stuff for a staff review, and you'll b onto a loser from the moment they pick it up and see how much you've written, and how much time they've got to waste reading it.
Suggest maximum 3 key changes that could be made and why, suggest additional training that would benefit the company if you went on it and why (eg if they have to keep hiring someone in when you could get trained up to do that... and then ask for a rise because you're now better skilled), pick out a max of 3 issues you have etc.
nobody's ever going to implement more than 3 changes you think of anyway, not in one go anyway, drip feed them from one review to the next.
IMO