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Archy Styrigg

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What have you done to get revenge on your boss?


I worked for a total TWUNT once, treated us like something he'd trod on...
So, one day, out in the Rascal van (joke in itself), parked up, hand brake hard on, maximum revs engine screaming for mercy, in gear and slipping the clutch.
Smoke billowing up from underneath, couldn't see a thing.
After 5 mins or so, try and get back to the workshop, ring the boss up, can't get back, clutch is slipping.
Comes out and tows me back.
Got away with it, got blamed on some poor idiot who was there at the time, he got banned from driving company vehicles.
 
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1shortcircuit

When I was young I used to work in the motor trade (for my sins)

My boss was great, absolute legend but such a prankster. Always getting me with something.

Anyway, every morning he used to buy his favorite cakes from the snack wagon and he would leave them next to the till in the office. Every day I used to put my finger into his cake mashing it up (I do not condone playing with other peoples food by the way, this was always protected by the wrapper that it came in... Used to drive him nuts though lol

Another occasion, same chap. He was laying under the back end of a car carrying out some work. I picked up the flammable spray and ignited it with my lighter setting the genital region of his work trousers on fire lmao.

It was always tit for tat and he always got me better than I could get him but as they say Karma is a b**ch and one day he was cutting an old exhaust from a vehicle with the oxyacetylene. Some molten metal dripped from the exhaust passing straight through his shirt, down his front and perched on his belt which was fine until he moved about in agony which is when it made it's journey through his underpants and finally came to rest on his ****end. I have never laughed so much in all of my life. Very sore for quite a while after that apparently lol
 
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Plonker 3

Walked out on 2 jobs, both times I had worked for the company for over 4 years but the gaffer thought he could talk down too me. Not turning up the following day and telling them where to stick there job and collect the van within half an hour or the keys will be in the ignition engine running and a full tank of fuel makes them move very quickly :)
 

trev

Regular EF Member
Not on a boss but this probably counts. There was a mate at one company years ago who used to like playing stupid pranks, it would have been ok if they were funny but these were just stupid, so on the lads xmas party we made sure we got him well and truly hammered. He then did The Dance Of The Flaming Buttholes.
 

trev

Regular EF Member
A guy I was working for went bust owing me 2 weeks wages, i had his van though. He rang me to ask for his van back and for the life of me I could not remember the name of the street I had parked it on but by a strange coincidence I had taken a photo of it on my phone so I emailed it to him telling him if he could find it he could have it. A couple of days and many irate phone calls later the tax disc ran out so of course I did the decent thing, I rang my mate who is a traffic cop and mysteriously the van disappeared.
 
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Archy Styrigg

Archy Styrigg

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The Dance Of The Flaming Buttholes.

Should've put this in The Arms.

You'll have to explain that one to me :innocent:
 

oldtimer

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I was interviewed by a guy who was hell bent on screwing me down on wages and conditions half way through his speel I said thank for seeing me the guy he was with clicked straight away and was apologetic but because no one had ever did this to him he got into a state and was giving it you will regret this as I was going out the door. 6 months later I got a job managing a high street store where the contractors were running the show well after sorting out the rif raf I was told not to mess with the main contractor as they were coming (to sort me out) next week well there he was standing at the customer service desk when the girl said here there is the in store technician well he turned around with his clip board in his hand took one look at me coming towards him and he mouthed O Fudge he said well I said glad to see you have plenty pens in your pocket then ran him around the building pointing out his cock ups saying I want them all fixed free of charge,

2 years later I was to be TUPED over to a company he had just joined after 22 years with his previous mob who had got chucked out of our store. So he called to say he was coming to see me in 6 weeks time as he would be my new manager. I said O thats a pity I am 1 week into my months notice so he slammed the phone down
 

Marvo

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The Dance Of The Flaming Buttholes.

Should've put this in The Arms.

You'll have to explain that one to me :innocent:
I'm guessing it involves a burning rolled up newspaper or similar. If so it was known as the 'ring of fire' in my Uni days.

*Edit* If you'd like this topic moving to the arms for legal or other reasons just let me know Archy :)
 

Strima

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I like the simple things in life such as supergluing everything in the office to a desk... :lol:
 

applemac

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I've [email protected]@sed in a guys shoes that he left on top of a locker! horrible massive brown brogues! full to the brim! covered him as he pulled them down at end of day ha ha, he phoned the police!!! ha ha ha..

rubbed my balls on there mug.

cut through a push bike with a hack saw. different boss. very funny this one..

hilti gunned toolbox upside down to concrete ceiling padlocked it with some hammers inside, oh and gunned the chippys boots up there too, they slug my up by my feet in a bard conversion and hoisted me up 20 foot for ten minutes for that..

phoned a 0845 **** line and left it running.

i could go on all night, i love a laugh.
 
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DurhamSparky

reversed the van in to a dry stone wall then jumped out to check if the wall was ok as i was not paying for that to be fixed...

usual ball sack around cup...

when i was working in a "special place" in london on my final posting with the royal navy i tried on a very nice italian suit handmade with nice handmade shoes as well... after trying this all on i "tommy tanked" in to the pocket and pushed it together....! on teh way out i picked up a tin of Lynx gravity deodarant and locked the door....!!! i will mention no names of who the suit belonged to but lets just say he was high up...! PM me if you want the name!
 

tidyboiler

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I used to work as a receptionist/secretary for several Car Salesman, one who was particularly sexist. One day he started showing off in front of his fellow car traders and put his arm around my shoulders, saying "Ah, here she is, my beautiful woman who is going to make coffee for us all.....".... well I just saw red so proceeded to make said coffee as instructed; they all thanked me and said what a gem I was. I always wondered if they could taste the soapy water freshly squeezed from the mop bucket! :26:
 

Geordie Spark

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Lost in the ozone - again !!
I used to work as a receptionist/secretary for several Car Salesman, one who was particularly sexist. One day he started showing off in front of his fellow car traders and put his arm around my shoulders, saying "Ah, here she is, my beautiful woman who is going to make coffee for us all.....".... well I just saw red so proceeded to make said coffee as instructed; they all thanked me and said what a gem I was. I always wondered if they could taste the soapy water freshly squeezed from the mop bucket! :26:
I've often wondered what ye put in my coffee pet. :sick: :puke:


:love:
 

trev

Regular EF Member
The pipe monkey who incidentally is a great lad, a pleasure to work with as he's always having a laugh. Now the gaffer, who everyone hated, was a horrible fat slug who didn't have a clue about anything but somehow got a boatload of graft and kept us all busy, and somehow or other had a very fit wife. Pipe monkey was sent to do a job there and had "refreshments" with her, I know this to be true because he took pictures to show us all
 
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1shortcircuit

The pipe monkey who incidentally is a great lad, a pleasure to work with as he's always having a laugh. Now the gaffer, who everyone hated, was a horrible fat slug who didn't have a clue about anything but somehow got a boatload of graft and kept us all busy, and somehow or other had a very fit wife. Pipe monkey was sent to do a job there and had "refreshments" with her, I know this to be true because he took pictures to show us all
Did he slip her is length.... Of pipe;)
 

Kamikaze

I do what the voices in my head tell me.
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Once upon a time worked for a boss that was completely off his head. Temper tantrums, causing senseless trouble, that sort of thing. But at least you would always know where you stood with him because he was consistent and messed everyone about. One of the apprentices was convinced he was out to get him. He couldn’t afford to change his job because he had a girlfriend with a new born and lived in a bed-sit. Well at the Christmas party in a nearby local pub, I fired a serious amount of beer down him and endlessly wound him up about how much the boss hated him and how he should just get over there and put him out of his misery. I never expecting him to do anything about it. Suddenly the apprentice got up, calmly walked over to the boss and without any warning knocked him clean out. One punch and his lights were out. Then calmly walked back to our table and said; “Oh well, new job in the new year it is then”. Well, as it happened the only people to see him do it was the lads on our table and the secretary. At the time the boss was standing by the bar boring the pants of the secretary with how amazing and how wealth he was and she had already lost the will to live, so wasn’t really sure what she saw. She just held his body while she lowered him down to the ground. Then called some of the managers claiming that the boss has just passed out. They called an ambulance and the boss spend several days in a private hospital having loads of tests while they tried to figure out why he suddenly passed out. Happy days!!!
 

Kamikaze

I do what the voices in my head tell me.
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Back then there was camaraderie amongst the lads and he never did find out….lol
 
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DurhamSparky

i can see me getting a ********** off my boss next week... just sent a ****o gram via email about his lack of compliance with the Data protection act and personal info... told them they would have to sack me before they got security forms back for a 3rd time...!!
 
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