The world is doomed.

[GMES]

The title is probably more spectacular than the thread.

So I've just been to McDonald drive through for me and Mrs Ape, I place my order which mine was chicken legend no sauce, the options were mayo-spicy- barbeque
Didn't fancy any so had plain.
Get to the window to pay and I'm greeted by a nervous looking guy in his late 30's, he was obviously new to the role.

Him .. Big Mac meal and chicken mayo legend

Me Big Mac yes but no to mayo legend I ordered chicken legend plain

Him it says on screen chicken mayo no mayo

Me what

Me chicken legend plain

Him that's what I said chicken mayo legend no mayo

Me wtf well doesn't that make it just a chicken legend

Him. What

Me well if it's got no mayo then it's not a mayo legend it's just a chicken legend.

Him, Sorry I don't get you.

Me how can it be a chicken MAYO legend without mayo.

Him it says on the screen chicken mayo without mayo so that's what it is.

Me can I just pay because you're starting making my eyes twitch.

Him yes sir have a nice day

Me I'm sure mine will be better than yours.

Apologies to all the cars behind me.

I cannot believe they can get that amount of stupidity in one pre fab building.

Any of you lads got any similar stories.

 

[westward10]

Years ago one of my mates always asked for a cheeseburger with no cheese, half the time this is what he got. No matter how many times he did it we found it hilarious.

 

[Pete999]

Years ago one of my mates always asked for a cheeseburger with no cheese, half the time this is what he got. No matter how many times he did it we found it hilarious.

Asked for 25 double Cheese burgers in Russia " to eat in or take away" lost for words.

 

[Shoei]

Years ago one of my mates always asked for a cheeseburger with no cheese, half the time this is what he got. No matter how many times he did it we found it hilarious.

Very first MacD I ever bought was from a newly opened place, ordered a cheeseburger and got cheese but no burger. Thought, 'this is a bit rubbish, not going there again', and didn't until months later when I found out they weren't meant to be like that.

 

[Leesparkykent]

It’s like when McDonald’s went through a spell of selling double quarter pounders.....surly that’s a half a pounder. No it’s a double quarter pounder

 

[suffolkspark]

I once had a lovely conversation about jacket potatoes with the girl on the drive through till

 

[Moley]

I remember many years ago going to a Wimpy (yes, that long ago) in Exeter and ordered a burger and chips. I sat down to an empty bread roll and chips. How could they forget to put the burger in??

 

[GMES]

God I used to love wimpy, I only know of one that is still going.
It's only about 10 minutes from my house so anyone old enough to appreciate them wants to send their orders through I will post them out to you for the right price.

 

[Spoon]

When they ask "Do you want that large" I just say "You don't get a figure like this by not going 'large'" ... I usually ask for 'large' anyhow..

Once drove off from the window cause they didn't have any milkshakes.... Went to another maccies..

 

[Squid]

God I used to love wimpy, I only know of one that is still going.
It's only about 10 minutes from my house so anyone old enough to appreciate them wants to send their orders through I will post them out to you for the right price.

There is one in Amersham....... knickerbocker glories I remember.......

 

[westward10]

Used to go to Wimpey as a kid when they still had waitress service and milkshake came in a glass.

 

[Squid]

Was sat on the bonnet of my mates Merc totally wasted as I got him to drive in to McD's to order food at 3 in the morning........

 

[Squid]

Wimpy UK - https://wimpy.uk.com

Wimpy UK - https://wimpy.uk.com/food-stories/land-of-knickerbocker-glory

 

[Silly Sausage]

When they ask "Do you want that large" I just say "You don't get a figure like this by not going 'large'" ...

Ah, I get why you got Tel round to sort your lights out now ...
you couldn't get through your loft hatch

 

[Spoon]

Ah, I get why you got Tel round to sort your lights out now ...
you couldn't get through your loft hatch

It's pure muscle...

 

[Flanders]

When through adrive through years ago i a transet van 3 of us in the front 3 in the back (Yes I know you cant carry peope in the back of transets but this was before any one cared about health and safety)Because we were taking a long time to get our order sorted , the guy behind pressed his horn , O dear the back door opens the side door of our van opens lads every where . The chap,in the car just sank behind his stearing wheal

 

[Squid]

It's pure wobbly lard...

I corrected your spelling for you ;o))))

 

[Squid]

When through adrive through years ago i a transet van 3 of us in the front 3 in the back (Yes I know you cant carry peope in the back of transets but this was before any one cared about health and safety)Because we were taking a long time to get our order sorted , the guy behind pressed his horn , O dear the back door opens the side door of our van opens lads every where . The chap,in the car just sank behind his stearing wheal

Buzz has a long lost brother it seems........ ;o))))

 

[Spoon]

Went through a drive through years ago in a transet van 3 of us in the front 3 in the back (Yes I know you cant carry peope in the back of transets but this was before any one cared about health and safety)Because we were taking a long time to get our order sorted , the guy behind pressed his horn , O dear the back door opens the side door of our van . lads every where . The chap,in the car just sank behind his stearing wheel

Did this happen twice and that's why you posted it twice??
(post #16 & #19)

 

[westward10]

The old Wimpey on the Uxbridge Road in Hayes still had waitress service up into the early 90s same person who did it when I was a kid, probably long gone now.

 

[Flanders]

Did this happen twice and that's why you posted it twice??
(post #16 & #19)

No i just tried to edit my post due to my bad spelling ,do not know how I managed that

 

[freddo]

Any of you lads got any similar stories.

Sadly I work with someone like that.

I only know of one that is still going.

I was working on the same street as that last month.

 

[JAWS]

McDonald's are so much better on the USAF bases

 

[Silly Sausage]

I'm desperate for a Wimpy now with special sauce.
Cheeseburger or International Grill? Agh, decisions, decisions.
My nearest is 25 miles away

 

[rolyberkin]

We used to enjoy ordering half a light and bitter, some younger members won't understand that though!;-)

 

[GMES]

Get it delivered by Uber, that seems to be the latest craze with the youngsters.

Bloody uber for McDonald's., there is an app for it.

 

[Toneyz]

Get it delivered by Uber, that seems to be the latest craze with the youngsters.

Bloody uber for McDonald's., there is an app for it.

They have started doing home deliveries at the on the other side of Northampton to me. Used to have a Wimpy in Northampton up to about 10 years ago.

 

[Dave OCD]

I can remember going to birthday parties for our kids in the local Wimpy years ago, 'Mr Wimpy' would bring out a cake with candles etc and some of the youngsters would be terrified.

 

[Andy78]

I once had a nearly identical sandwich buy in a sarny shop.

Me I'll have a bacon salad please.
Her A what ?
Me A bacon salad please
Her We don't do a bacon salad, you mean a BLT.
Me No I mean a bacon salad. You do salad and you do bacon, I just want both in a sandwich please
Her No no no, you mean a BLT (her face says "I'm the sandwich expert round here than you very much")
Me So what does a BLT have in it then ?
Her Bacon, lettuce, tomato
Me Ok, so get me a BLT with cucumber, onion, boiled egg and mayo please

She gives me a look like I'm Neo breaking the f**king matrix or something and at the same time her head is imploding trying to comprehend what just happened.

You're right, we are doomed.

 

[PEG]

Right,i've got a drive-thru story,for you....
Long time ago,myself and six pals,finish a day of cutting up scrap,and go to the Mcdougal in Chorlton,for a sit in job....staff got RC,as we looked like mumpers,and to be fair,were quite hyperactive....so off we trot...

Months later,we have to collect half a dozen dead sheep,from a hunt kennels. Now these are fallen stock,and are usually sectioned and fed to the dogs,but these had been languishing in the sun for a couple of weeks,and each one was three times bigger than original... the smell was legendary...and on the back of the transit tipper,they went...

Guess which establishment,got us as a drive-thru?

Da da da der da...i'm lovin it

 

[MFS Electrical]

I once had a nearly identical sandwich buy in a sarny shop.

Me I'll have a bacon salad please.
Her A what ?
Me A bacon salad please
Her We don't do a bacon salad, you mean a BLT.
Me No I mean a bacon salad. You do salad and you do bacon, I just want both in a sandwich please
Her No no no, you mean a BLT (her face says "I'm the sandwich expert round here than you very much")
Me So what does a BLT have in it then ?
Her Bacon, lettuce, tomato
Me Ok, so get me a BLT with cucumber, onion, boiled egg and mayo please

She gives me a look like I'm Neo breaking the f**king matrix or something and at the same time her head is imploding trying to comprehend what just happened.

You're right, we are doomed.

Wasn’t subway by any chance was it?

 

[Andy78]

Wasn’t subway by any chance was it?

No just a small independent sandwich shop. In subway I'd have been happy just being grunted at to recognise my presence.

 

[MFS Electrical]

I once had a nearly identical sandwich buy in a sarny shop.

Me I'll have a bacon salad please.
Her A what ?
Me A bacon salad please
Her We don't do a bacon salad, you mean a BLT.
Me No I mean a bacon salad. You do salad and you do bacon, I just want both in a sandwich please
Her No no no, you mean a BLT (her face says "I'm the sandwich expert round here than you very much")
Me So what does a BLT have in it then ?
Her Bacon, lettuce, tomato
Me Ok, so get me a BLT with cucumber, onion, boiled egg and mayo please

She gives me a look like I'm Neo breaking the f**king matrix or something and at the same time her head is imploding trying to comprehend what just happened.

You're right, we are doomed.

Wasn’t subway by any chance was it?

No just a small independent sandwich shop. In subway I'd have been happy just being grunted at to recognise my presence.

one of the subways round here is a total dive they never have anything, it’s always just ran out, they always put the wrong thing on your sandwich even after asking twice and the cookies are always stale

 

[Squid]

Did this happen twice and that's why you posted it twice??
(post #16 & #19)

 

[Squid]

I once had a nearly identical sandwich buy in a sarny shop.

Me I'll have a bacon salad please.
Her A what ?
Me A bacon salad please
Her We don't do a bacon salad, you mean a BLT.
Me No I mean a bacon salad. You do salad and you do bacon, I just want both in a sandwich please
Her No no no, you mean a BLT (her face says "I'm the sandwich expert round here than you very much")
Me So what does a BLT have in it then ?
Her Bacon, lettuce, tomato
Me Ok, so get me a BLT with cucumber, onion, boiled egg and mayo please

She gives me a look like I'm Neo breaking the f**king matrix or something and at the same time her head is imploding trying to comprehend what just happened.

You're right, we are doomed.

A boiled egg in a sandwich FFS......

 

[Midwest]

Me & a mate frequented a particular Chinese takeaway in Windsor, 'cos they did a good special; sweet & sour chicken balls & beef & black bean, with a little bit of chilli & fried rice. It was sold as MB. Recommended to us it was.

First time we went into the takeaway, Chinese lady serving.

I said 'Can I have an MB please'.

You want MB 1 (i.e. for one)

My mate, 'Can I have MB 1'

You want MB too.

No I want MB1.

I gave you MB.

My mate, 'but I want MB1'

I gave you MB, sweet & chicken, beef black bean. Why u no Nissan!

 

[Pete999]

Have to visit Hospital in Oxford every year and on the way home I stop at the services junction 9 M40 and end up in Burger King, got a thing for the Whopper with Cheese.
My Mrs was with me last time and I ordered Whopper with Cheese, large Fries and a Coke Mrs went for the Chicken Royal, after taking out a bank loan to pay, by card, with me so far? paid up grub on a tray Oh got any chili sauce please ? yes that will be 20 pence and when you think of all the Ketchup sachets left on the tables, makes you wonder why they would charge 20p for a chili sauce, I had no cash, and the woman behind let rip at the post Graduate behind the counter, made me blush I can tell you.

 

[Toneyz]

Have to visit Hospital in Oxford every year and on the way home I stop at the services junction 9 M40 and end up in Burger King, got a thing for the Whopper with Cheese.
My Mrs was with me last time and I ordered Whopper with Cheese, large Fries and a Coke Mrs went for the Chicken Royal, after taking out a bank loan to pay, by card, with me so far? paid up grub on a tray Oh got any chili sauce please ? yes that will be 20 pence and when you think of all the Ketchup sachets left on the tables, makes you wonder why they would charge 20p for a chili sauce, I had no cash, and the woman behind let rip at the post Graduate behind the counter, made me blush I can tell you.

I take it because of the postgraduate let you off the 20p I bet they collect the unused ketchup sachets all up again and resell them. I think I've stopped at that Burger King at that services your right it is expensive there.

 

[Pete999]

I take it because of the postgraduate let you off the 20p I bet they collect the unused ketchup sachets all up again and resell them. I think I've stopped at that Burger King at that services your right it is expensive there.

No he didn't thought about telling to shove his sauce where the Sun don't shine, so I walked away.

 

[GMES]

All service station food places are expensive.
We recently stopped at the one where the m18 meets the m180 and also had burger king.
Me our lass and granddaughter.
3 burger meals a couple of sides and it came to £32.00
It must be more expensive to warm food up on a motorway

 

[Toneyz]

All service station food places are expensive.
We recently stopped at the one where the m18 meets the m180 and also had burger king.
Me our lass and granddaughter.
3 burger meals a couple of sides and it came to £32.00
It must be more expensive to warm food up on a motorway

I think it's because they have to stay open 24hrs.

 

[GMES]

I think it's because they have to stay open 24hrs.

I thought all fast food joints stayed open 24 hrs regardless of where they are.
The ones round me are.

 

[Edtwozeronine]

Having worked in a Domines the way the on screen version of an item is titled often didn't match the customer facing menu, this is probably where confusion reigned. The system often said such things as Texas BBQ minus X plus X, X normally being a code letter for a specific topping or lack of topping.

 

[Toneyz]

I thought all fast food joints stayed open 24 hrs regardless of where they are.
The ones round me are.

The word there is have to whereas the ones around you do it through commercial merits. If not the service station has to provide facilities 24hrs and the costs have to cover the peak and troughs.

 

[GMES]

The word there is have to whereas the ones around you do it through commercial merits. If not the service station has to provide facilities 24hrs and the costs have to cover the peak and troughs.

Can I have the first part in English please mate

 

[Silly Sausage]

Can I have the first part in English please mate

There's a severe shortage of commas going on there
UK motorway services are over-priced garbage, with one exception, Tebay.

 

[Moley]

Ah, Tebay. I always call in there if I'm heading to Scotland. They sell some lovely pies. No Wimpy though

 

[Santa]

My favourite, and this was before most of you were born, was going with my father, who was running a pub at the time, to buy a gross of bread rolls for the turkey sandwiches we were doing at Christmas.

The rolls were 1d (one old penny) each and the girl counted out twelve sets of twelve rolls into a tray. Then she had to work out how much...

Now, since there were 12d in a shilling and we had 12 x 12 rolls, this should have been easy, but she had a new-fangled till that added up for her. We stood patiently, with a growing queue behind us, as she rang them all up one by one; losing count at least twice.

When she finally looked up and told us how much, she looked surprised to see that father had a ten-bob-note and a florin in his hand already.

Stupidity is not a modern phenomenon.

 

[pirate]

" a ten-bob note and a florin"...brilliant!
maybe 4 half-crowns and 4 tanners, or 12 bob...

Personally, I think inflation started when the 10 bob note was discontinued, but I'm sure it was a retrograde step, whatever...

 

[Silly Sausage]

" a ten-bob note and a florin"...brilliant!
maybe 4 half-crowns and 4 tanners, or 12 bob...

Personally, I think inflation started when the 10 bob note was discontinued, but I'm sure it was a retrograde step, whatever...

The last 10 bob note I used was a Saturday dinner time, me Mam sent me out for fish & chips 4 times and bring the change home. You'd need a fifty now to get any change.