I really have heard it all now

[GMES]

I was chatting to a mate today who is also an electrician who as a customer who basicallyuses different contractors, basically who ever he can get to site the quickest to get his tyre shredder working when it breaks down.
Now apparently there is a local electrical contractor out his way who has been trying to pinch my mate's work, so anyway machine breaks down and they call him in to take a look, after sticking his head in the panel for 10 minutes he emerges to tell the customer that the problem is....get ready for it, The earth cable is to big and needs reducing by half.

Now i have been in the trade for a fair few years and this is by far the best diagnosis i have ever heard, can anyone beat that one.:tounge_smile:

 

[dazza1981]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...... thats tickled me Glenn

 

[trev]

Got called to a N E fault once and the customer told me the guy who'd been there before me said the solution to the problem was to disconnect the earth as the circuit (CH boiler) didn't need one.

 

[GMES]

Dazza it tickled me as well mate, how the hell ddid these people ever pass an exam, they shouldn't be allowed to vote let alone play with electricity.

 

[dazza1981]

Dazza it tickled me as well mate, how the hell ddid these people ever pass an exam, they shouldn't be allowed to vote let alone play with electricity.

The mind boggles..... it is comical but at he same time it really gets my back up aswell.

 

[GMES]

Got called to a N E fault once and the customer told me the guy who'd been there before me said the solution to the problem was to disconnect the earth as the circuit (CH boiler) didn't need one.

Trev if these clowns weren't so funny i would cry.

 

[trev]

Luckily for the customer she realised the clown didn't have a clue so chased him.

 

[jackhammerJIM]

Thats a cracker !

went to look at a fault on a lighting circuit in my brothers bosses house . circuit in question had

tripped circuit breaker as energised landing light .

previous sparks told him there was a fault on 3 core and wall would have to be chopped out cable replaced .

got tester out and all clear . lamp had gone !

 

[GMES]

The mind boggles..... it is comical but at he same time it really gets my back up aswell.

I know what you mean because to be fair the customer is clueless, now there is nothing he doesn't know about tyre's because that's his trade, but knows nothing about our trade, luckily though he knew enough to ring my mate and question this clown. :24:

 

[Pete999]

Now you will definitely find this hard to believe, you're aware I'm seriously old, left school in 1961 one of the first jobs I worked on was with a sparks wiring some old people's flats, that had never had electricity, we had to put a light and socket in the rooms, now this particular old dear called us back after about a day to say her lights weren't working,we had a look, lamps all black and burnt, she had only tried to light them with a match, bless

 

[GMES]

Nearly as daft as one of my exe's who seriously thought there was a man in a room somewhere in the country who turned the cats eyes on for the roads at night. And that is gospel.

 

[trev]

A mate of mine was living with a model who was incredibly pretty but also incredibly thick. He went away to work and rang me wanting his speakers (back in the days of hi-fi) in the corners of the living room.
Off I went, connected them up and made a comment that I was glad I got the polarity right. She asked what would happen if it was wrong so I told her the music would come out of the speakers backwards.
She took it in and told my mate about it in a crowded pub when he got home. He nearly choked on his beer

 

[Pete999]

Got asked by an Apprentice I had working with me, why was I so particular about keeping a piece of twin and earth so straight and flat, told him it was to make sure the electricity came out the right way, he believed me for a bit until I put him right.:devil2:

 

[GMES]

A mate of mine was living with a model who was incredibly pretty but also incredibly thick. He went away to work and rang me wanting his speakers (back in the days of hi-fi) in the corners of the living room.
Off I went, connected them up and made a comment that I was glad I got the polarity right. She asked what would happen if it was wrong so I told her the music would come out of the speakers backwards.
She took it in and told my mate about it in a crowded pub when he got home. He nearly choked on his beer

Ha Ha I like that one Trev, the best one i remember was my sister who was and still is a massive animal lover, she even used to volounteer for Toad patrol, the one where they stop the traffic to allow a load of toads to cross the road safely. well i somehow managed to convince her that i used to bury Moles alive! , she didn't speak to me for day's until my dad explained it to her, I still don't know how she ever became a Nurse.

 

[Geoffsd]

Why don't you turn your back lights on when you slow down? :rofl:

 

[7029 dave]

Now you will definitely find this hard to believe, you're aware I'm seriously old, left school in 1961 one of the first jobs I worked on was with a sparks wiring some old people's flats, that had never had electricity, we had to put a light and socket in the rooms, now this particular old dear called us back after about a day to say her lights weren't working,we had a look, lamps all black and burnt, she had only tried to light them with a match, bless

Only the few had electricity in the early 1900's . lol

 

[Geordie Spark]

A mate of mine was living with a model who was incredibly pretty but also incredibly thick. He went away to work and rang me wanting his speakers (back in the days of hi-fi) in the corners of the living room.
Off I went, connected them up and made a comment that I was glad I got the polarity right. She asked what would happen if it was wrong so I told her the music would come out of the speakers backwards.
She took it in and told my mate about it in a crowded pub when he got home. He nearly choked on his beer

There was a club in Wallsend - not sure of the name now, but maybe The Rising Sun - that I played.

The house PA was a pair of column speakers screwed to the wall - one either side of the stage and one was wired out of phase to the other. This rig was only used for playing background music and the star of the show - the Bingo Caller

I twigged the phasing issue when I walked from one side of the room to the other and had a momentary stagger as I passed the midway point where the sound from the in phase speaker crosses with the sound from the out of phase speaker and creates a "dead spot" that confuses the inner ear. I then amused myself for the rest of the night watching the number of folks doing that same stagger while crossing the room and wondering what they had tripped over.

 

[GLENNSPARK]

Dazza it tickled me as well mate, how the hell ddid these people ever pass an exam, they shouldn't be allowed to vote let alone play with electricity.

they didn`t...

 

[efficiencyman]

In 1961 I arrived on site to 1st fix the wiring, to a smell of burning, found a plumber on site using his blow lamp to heat a poker red hot, he was using it to burn holes through joists for his pipes. I said would he like to use my Augers. He said no thanks never use them, they are hard work.
Well it was before the days of drills with speed bits

 

[Dizzy_Maskell]

My mates told me a cracker out with his mrs and they went past a wind farm, as they where not moving at the time she said must be turned off today