How to Make a Fool of Yourself!!!

Paul.M · Mar 15, 2015

specs said:
spoilsport

Ok I'll get one of the lads to send me a picture so I can post it up lol.

Kamikaze · Mar 15, 2015

No great story has ever started without alcohol. :biggrin:

On this particular day at work, there was loads of mickey taking. The yank was on the receiving end of most of it because he claimed that his Alsatian was the hardest dog in the world, and took a bullet at point blank range, survived and never even flinched. So on the way back to the digs, we popped into the Lady Godiva for a swift half and some light entertainment. There were about sixteen of us round this large table. There were Scandinavians, Germans, Brits, Italians etc. It was great! We explained the jokes to the Germans. The French chose the wine. The Italians ordered the food. The Swiss chatted up the waitress for us, and the Dutchman spent his evening stopping the Swede from committing suicide. We had a really good laugh! A shining example of European co-operation and harmony. It was spoilt only by this pain in the ar$e Yank who constantly moaned about people smoking at the table (you could still do that in those days) and he couldn’t grasp the notion that we might want another drink or two. Anyway, he didn’t like the stick we gave one of the black Brits for being off-white even though the lad was giving as good as he got. Accused us of being racist. Now you can knock our fellow Europeans as much as you like but they all can smell a windup when it’s on the cards. After a lengthy discussion about peoples colour, it became widely accepted across the table with the exception of the Yank, that
1: All of south Africa is black, no exception!
2: All of Europe and north Africa is white, no exception!
3: All of America is black, no exception!
4: All of Russia is red, no exception!
5: All of Asia is yellow, no exception!
6: And the rest of the world are differed shades of grey, no exception!
Well, the white Yank which was a descendent from black south African slaves because all Americans are :biggrin:, wasn’t having none of it and the black lad completely killed me off when he said to the Yank; “The trouble with you blacks is, you always play the race card when things are not going your way.” I swear all my internal organs were hurting from all that laughing. Anyway, in all the excitement, I let my guard down and asked the Swiss if he would help me chat-up the waitress. I wanted to know the French for “I think you have very beautiful eyes”, so you can imagine my surprise when I got slapped across the face after uttering the words “Puis-je deviner la couleur de vos culottes en par léchant eux” in my best French.
To be fair, I would have done the same thing if the boot had been on the other foot…lol.

shanky887614 · Mar 15, 2015

Kamikaze said:
No great story has ever started without alcohol. [emoji3]

On this particular day at work, there was loads of mickey taking. The yank was on the receiving end of most of it because he claimed that his Alsatian was the hardest dog in the world, and took a bullet at point blank range, survived and never even flinched. So on the way back to the digs, we popped into the Lady Godiva for a swift half and some light entertainment. There were about sixteen of us round this large table. There were Scandinavians, Germans, Brits, Italians etc. It was great! We explained the jokes to the Germans. The French chose the wine. The Italians ordered the food. The Swiss chatted up the waitress for us, and the Dutchman spent his evening stopping the Swede from committing suicide. We had a really good laugh! A shining example of European co-operation and harmony. It was spoilt only by this pain in the ar$e Yank who constantly moaned about people smoking at the table (you could still do that in those days) and he couldn’t grasp the notion that we might want another drink or two. Anyway, he didn’t like the stick we gave one of the black Brits for being off-white even though the lad was giving as good as he got. Accused us of being racist. Now you can knock our fellow Europeans as much as you like but they all can smell a windup when it’s on the cards. After a lengthy discussion about peoples colour, it became widely accepted across the table with the exception of the Yank, that
1: All of south Africa is black, no exception!
2: All of Europe and north Africa is white, no exception!
3: All of America is black, no exception!
4: All of Russia is red, no exception!
5: All of Asia is yellow, no exception!
6: And the rest of the world are differed shades of grey, no exception!
Well, the white Yank which was a descendent from black south African slaves because all Americans are [emoji3], wasn’t having none of it and the black lad completely killed me off when he said to the Yank; “The trouble with you blacks is, you always play the race card when things are not going your way.” I swear all my internal organs were hurting from all that laughing. Anyway, in all the excitement, I let my guard down and asked the Swiss if he would help me chat-up the waitress. I wanted to know the French for “I think you have very beautiful eyes”, so you can imagine my surprise when I got slapped across the face after uttering the words “Puis-je deviner la couleur de vos culottes en par léchant eux” in my best French.
To be fair, I would have done the same thing if the boot had been on the other foot…lol.

lol i would have done similar when giving advice in a different language XD

fuzakeru na lol

aho is a popular one

Kamikaze · Mar 16, 2015

shanky887614 said:
lol i would have done similar when giving advice in a different language XD

fuzakeru na lol

aho is a popular one

Yeah, I know what you mean. I once caught out one of the lads with “Ich bin ein Berliner”. What he didn’t know was that Berliner is also a doughnut…lol.