kes. you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth. having read most of the posts on this thread, i can see you have had some very good advice, albeit, some of it seeming negative. whilst we all admire your determination to progress, we also have regard for your own personal safety, and that is why some of the posts seem a bit harsh. the best thing, IMO, is if you could arrange to get some work , even part time, with an experienced spark, as it's far, far better to be shown how to do things than instructed eitehr in college or by this or any other forum. keep at it, observe safety issues, and always come here for advice. we've all taken knock backs. it's part of the learnig curve.