N
Nolnoc
[TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD="width: 100%"]
AN ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER SENT:
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1997 and yet the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.
For goodness sake, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had; on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-f*cking-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! I apologise, I'm really p*ssed off this morning. Between you and me, I've had enough of this bullsh*t!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f*cking address!!!! What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal ars*holes workin' there?
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for sh*t sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat,
believe you me, you'd be the last f*cking people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of another £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the f*ckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some ars*hole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic f*ckin' morons). Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile even if we wanted to? Because we're totally p*ssed off!
Signed An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ......... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security
clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world......... However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor.................WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN !
Sincerely, from You Sure The Hell Should Know Who.
F.J. Pritchard
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 100%"][TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD="width: 100%"]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[TR]
[TD="width: 100%"]
AN ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER SENT:
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1997 and yet the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.
For goodness sake, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had; on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-f*cking-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! I apologise, I'm really p*ssed off this morning. Between you and me, I've had enough of this bullsh*t!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f*cking address!!!! What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal ars*holes workin' there?
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for sh*t sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat,
believe you me, you'd be the last f*cking people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of another £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the f*ckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some ars*hole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic f*ckin' morons). Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile even if we wanted to? Because we're totally p*ssed off!
Signed An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ......... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security
clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world......... However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor.................WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN !
Sincerely, from You Sure The Hell Should Know Who.
F.J. Pritchard
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 100%"][TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD="width: 100%"]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
