Best practical jokes

[bigbaddave]

Come on guys we've all done it. What the best practical joke you have played on someone?

Ill start, Had a apprentice plumber on site, Smoked like a chimney and was a really cheeky fella.. First one was when he was on lunch we dismantled his smokes and put party popper bangs in his tabs.. Well as you can imagine puff puff.... :56:

Any oldish guy was always really really pedantic about his tools, I mean like everything came on site in its original packet even down to his tape and returned back after use.. Complained daily about what ever radio station we had on and didn't matter what conversation we had it was inappropriate.... One day one of the lads was talking about an argument he had with the missus. The guy says that's just childish in my opinion.. So we decided to show him childish. Next day with the biggest roll of bubble wrap and loads of rolls covered every tool he had in bubble wrap.. Used what we had left on his van.. Well BOOOOM... He wernt happy at all.. But it the last time he moaned on the job.. Never seen him again.. Thank Fork!!

 

[markc123]

Trust me on this, and although i don't eat here often anymore...its an absolute howler...

Mcdonalds
-Whoever you're with, when they go to the toilet take the lid off their coke/fanta w.e and rip a tight corner of the ketchup sachet off - put the straw tight and deep into the sachet, and then put the lid back on the coke/fanta...suck the straw untill the ketchup comes just underneath the lid, because it takes a few seconds to suck the ketchup it needs to be nearer the top so whoever you're with doesn't smell a rat. When they come to take a sip of coke/fanta they'll get a gob full of ketchup.

If that makes any sense, hard to explain!

Ohh i love being immature at times, ha.

 

[MDJ]

We used to glue 50 pences to the floor in a busy shopping centre whilst sitting on scaffolds watching folk trying to pick them up, everytime they tried there was a huge jeer, around 100 different trades men all laughing their self silly, oh happy days.

 

[i=p/u]

Or screw lid off the salt was an old boy favourite

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Or screw lid off the salt was an old boy favourite

 

[telectrix]

company i worked for in the 90's had several female middle management b*tch*s. we went into the ladies bogs 15 minutes before break time and fitted cling film across the tops of all 4 bogs. you should have heard the screams.

 

[markc123]

company i worked for in the 90's had several female middle management b*tch*s. we went into the ladies bogs 15 minutes before break time and fitted cling film across the tops of all 4 bogs. you should have heard the screams.

bet that wasn't all you fitted was it tel

 

[Guest111]

we had a girl at work once who used to sit on her chair,slip her boots off put her shoes on then move along on her chair(office chair with wheels) to her workstation,end of day she'd wheel herself back slip into her boots stand up and walk out,now I'm not naming names but one day while she had nipped out of the office still wearing her shoes somebody put contact adhesive on the soles of her boots,boy was that funny at 5 pm.Another good one get someone to ring this number and ask to speak to MR LYON 01244 380280 ring between 9 and 4.30 tell them he rang and wants them to ring him back. Boy it's fummy lol.

 

[i=p/u]

Or send pizzas to neighbours and watch out the window and taxis

 

[bigbaddave]

we had a girl at work once who used to sit on her chair,slip her boots off put her shoes on then move along on her chair(office chair with wheels) to her workstation,end of day she'd wheel herself back slip into her boots stand up and walk out,now I'm not naming names but one day while she had nipped out of the office still wearing her shoes somebody put contact adhesive on the soles of her boots,boy was that funny at 5 pm.Another good one get someone to ring this number and ask to speak to MR LYON 01244 380280 ring between 9 and 4.30 tell them he rang and wants them to ring him back. Boy it's fummy lol.

Ha Ha Chester Zoo..

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Or send pizzas to neighbours and watch out the window and taxis

I did that when i was younger.. Made the mistake of not withholding my number.. anyway it backfired..

 

[bigbaddave]

bet that wasn't all you fitted was it tel

It certainly wasn't a camcorder. In the 90's they were the same size as a bus

 

[telectrix]

Ha Ha Chester Zoo..

i thought that straight away when iread the chester std code.

 

[bigbaddave]

Ha Ha Chester Zoo..

i thought that straight away when iread the chester std code.

I didnt get it, Had to google.. Made sense after that..

 

[Guest111]

Ha Ha Chester Zoo..

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I did that when i was younger.. Made the mistake of not withholding my number.. anyway it backfired..

please tel me you didn't ring it lol.

 

[bigbaddave]

please tel me you didn't ring it lol.

Im sorry but the Zoo is currently closed. Ha Ha.. No I put it in google

 

[Plonker 3]

Im sorry but the Zoo is currently closed. Ha Ha.. No I put it in google

If you didn't ring them how do yoh know they are closed?

 

[tidyboiler]

My best friend was married to a bloke she despised. She made him a curry with a tin of Chappie, and the finale was she sent a funeral director to measure him up for a mahogany inlaid box. :icon6:

 

[Gazmm]

i once got a text asking me to ring a number and ask for liz, she would relay the message i had called up to the rooftop plant room. it was the number for buckingham palace. they must get it a lot as the recorded message told me to hang up if id received the text message.

 

[ian.settle1]

When I was away at sea when we where in port we telephoned the pursers desk knowing a certain dim witted female purser was on duty, we asked if she could put a tannoy out asking for Mike Hunt to go to the gangway, to which she did we fell about laughing when she did, 5 minutes later we phoned again saying could she repeat the tannoy as he had not come like a dim bird she was she did just as we asked.

 

[Geordielad]

Evening all. Some of these pranks are just ace, going to have to try a few of them. The spark I worked with used to wait till I was driving down the motorway in the van at 70(ish as we do) to get the fluorescent tube tester out an then proceed to zap me until I had patches of hairs missing/singed on my arms. I had no escape and couldn't fight back because of driving! The good ol days of being an apprentice.
Mind you I wouldn't change any of it because I enjoyed the banter and learnt a lot off the lad.

 

[trev]

BOC came to a factory I did maintenance at to install some whizz bang bit of kit they made so I got the pretty but thick receptionist to tannoy Mr Hugh Jarse.

The same pretty but thick receptionist, I was in a meeting with some of the senior guys, we were having a coffee break and taking bets on how thick she was. Phone on loudspeaker....
Me, Can you settle an argument please Rachel
Rachel, I'll try to help if I can
Me, What did they call the ship in Mutiny On The Bounty?
Rachel, (a few seconds silence then) How the hell do you expect me to know

Installing some extra sockets in my mate's flat, I was crawling around under the floor pulling cables when I screamed and shouted "BRI ! RING THE POLICE" and shot out of the hole in the boards. He Asked me what was wrong and I told him there was a body in the crawl space. Of course he didn't believe me so I grabbed his landline and dialed 000 and made on as if it was 999. A couple of minutes later there was the sound of a siren getting closer and my mate started to lose his colour and composure. I let him believe it for about 10 minutes.

 

[markc123]

Was just browsing youtube and coincidently found this - it's even got my age-old mcdonalds ketchup joke on it (ref:#2) ...i'm more common that i realised haha, and the old chap explained it much better. Only a couple of minutes long, harmless fun.

[video=youtube_share;psvkyf3PzjE]http://youtu.be/psvkyf3PzjE[/video]

 

[trev]

I sent an apprentice for a Fracturing Undercutting Centrifugal Kit once. I told him he could ask for it by it's (obvious) acronym and the dozy bugger went to the wholesalers just around the corner and asked for it.

Installing outside lighst with another dozy apprentice who was as much use as a man off when a woodbutcher asked me if I'd seen his cordless extention, idiot. As if I'd fall for that. Sadly the apprentice did and spent about an hour bouncing round the site from side to side with everyone phoning the next guy he got sent to to warn him. Eventually the site foreman had to show him a corded drill and a cordless one before he realised we were taking the mick. I don't think he finished his time poor kid.

 

[bigbaddave]

Was just browsing youtube and coincidently found this - it's even got my age-old mcdonalds ketchup joke on it (ref:#2) ...i'm more common that i realised haha, and the old chap explained it much better. Only a couple of minutes long, harmless fun.

[video=youtube_share;psvkyf3PzjE]http://youtu.be/psvkyf3PzjE[/video]

Now I get it.. I was thinking you just put ketchup in the straw.. However that is ingenious..

 

[trev]

It would work even better with a mcdonalds milkshake because you expect them to be hard work to get up the straw.

 

[bigbaddave]

It would work even better with a mcdonalds milkshake because you expect them to be hard work to get up the straw.

Ha ha. You not always get the feeling that the straw is going to end up down your throat with them things..

 

[barneybhoy]

Simple but funny, whenever I get a newish apprentice I send them to get 13a rawplugs, they always fall for it

 

[trev]

A girl over the road from us started her nursing training and on day one got sent to the stores for 3 metres of falopian tube. I could understand some of the thick buggers I've had as apprentices falling for it but a young woman?

 

[bigbaddave]

I sent a lad to sainsburys once for my dinner.. I insisted on him visiting the cheese counter and wanted "Bell end Cheese"

Apparently he came back and said they didn't have any and laughed. He still to this day doesnt know we were talking the mick

 

[Phil]

asda had a load of cheap kippers reduced one night before closing time. 10 pence a fish and a load of them. i bought hte lot and stuck them all over my mates van. on the end of the ariel on the roof basically anywhere where he could not see them when he was driving. he must have thought it was a hitchcock movie when he was driving to work they were all over it and it was red hot lmao

 

[markc123]

asda had a load of cheap kippers reduced one night before closing time. 10 pence a fish and a load of them. i bought hte lot and stuck them all over my mates van. on the end of the ariel on the roof basically anywhere where he could not see them when he was driving. he must have thought it was a hitchcock movie when he was driving to work they were all over it and it was red hot lmao

I did the exact same thing, however it was only 1 kipper...we wrapped it in a plastic bag and popped it under the passenger seat of his car, after about a day it started to absolutley stink - he was opening the bonnet and everything didn't have a clue what was going on - took him 5 full days to finally find out what and where it was, and about a further week for the smell to eventually go. Bringing back memories here haha.

 

[Phil]

I did the exact same thing, however it was only 1 kipper...we wrapped it in a plastic bag and popped it under the passenger seat of his car, after about a day it started to absolutley stink - he was opening the bonnet and everything didn't have a clue what was going on - took him 5 full days to finally find out what and where it was, and about a further week for the smell to eventually go. Bringing back memories here haha.

I know mechanics who used to empty a 4 pinter of milk under the back seats of customers that annoyed them stinks like puke when it goes off

 

[bigbaddave]

I know mechanics who used to empty a 4 pinter of milk under the back seats of customers that annoyed them stinks like puke when it goes off

I can relate to that.. I spilt milk in the wifes car... Pewwww!! It stunk for ages

 

[Phil]

I can relate to that.. I spilt milk in the wifes car... Pewwww!! It stunk for ages

better to spill it i the wifes car than your own

 

[bigbaddave]

better to spill it i the wifes car than your own

Ha Ha.. You didnt put car.. Right??

 

[Phil]

Ha Ha.. You didnt put car.. Right??

lmao your right its a good job im used to proof reading isn`t it or i would have gotten a thousand likes and a load smut to clean up afterwards

 

[bigbaddave]

lmao your right its a good job im used to proof reading isn`t it or i would have gotten a thousand likes and a load smut to clean up afterwards

Ha Ha, Phil what's the chances you can work you magic and get me a key for the arms? Sent Dan and Jason requests with my company info a few times but no joy..

 

[Phil]

Ha Ha, Phil what's the chances you can work you magic and get me a key for the arms? Sent Dan and Jason requests with my company info a few times but no joy..

I think Sintra has dropped your request into the mod section mate but will check. Dan and Jason have been fairly busy over christmas but should be back catching up through this week.

 

[bigbaddave]

I think Sintra has dropped your request into the mod section mate but will check. Dan and Jason have been fairly busy over christmas but should be back catching up through this week.

Thats perfect cheers mate.. And yeah agree.. Crimbo tends to mean that..

 

[markc123]

*cough* don't forget me needing a key cut *cough*

:biggrin5:

Speaking of other practical jokes though, how many of us hide in the dark and make the missus literally :censored: themselfes

 

[trev]

Yep, I do that. I'll sometimes hide outside the bathroom door and scream when one of the kids opens it, never fails

 

[bigbaddave]

*cough* don't forget me needing a key cut *cough*

:biggrin5:

Speaking of other practical jokes though, how many of us hide in the dark and make the missus literally :censored: themselfes

Sorry PAL.. Forgot about you..

 

[Phil]

Yep, I do that. I'll sometimes hide outside the bathroom door and scream when one of the kids opens it, never fails

lol you wait till the old tickers getting a little more fragile and they start doing it to you then you will be in trouble

 

[bigbaddave]

And i did that once with the wife when she was carrying her tea upstairs..... Needless to say it didnt go down to good..

I NEVER DID IT AGAIN...

 

[markc123]

I literally do it all the time aswell, trev i know what you mean it never gets old...

...i literally get "IF I END UP HAVING A HEART-ATTACK YOU'LL BE SORRY" or "STOP BLOODY DOING THAT, OR ILL BE GONE" ...all the time :laugh:

 

[Des 56]

Some real funny capers,I liked the thread
Must thank trev for the story about the Woodbutcher and the corless extension

"A cordless extension" ( superb) :yes:

It must surely take its place among the classics like sky hooks and skirting board ladders

 

[trev]

My son and his girlfriend were watching some horror film in his room and I could hear the gasps as the scary bits came. So I put some raggy old overalls on and got a knife and my other son's halloween mask and burst into his room. I can still hear the screams echoing

 

[markc123]

haha bet the girlfriend love'd you trev...

...guaranteed once you'd gone out the room you were cursed something rotten :biggrin:

 

[trev]

What makes you think they waited till I left the room before they called me what I deserved to be called mate?

 

[tidyboiler]

burst into his room. I can still hear the screams echoing

Jeez Trev, that brought back memories!! I can remember "Want some tea?" a la Mrs Overall popping into the bedroom......

 

[bigbaddave]

What makes you think they waited till I left the room before they called me what I deserved to be called mate?

Is that said girlfreind an Ex?? Poor lass