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Always nice to read roughly what I was thinking,It sounds like your supply cable has a combined neutral/earth connection that has become disconnected upstream within the DNO's equipment, possibly in the service head but also possibly in the road. The load current, of which the car charging is the heaviest, is flowing from its own circuit neutral to the point at which neutral and earth combine in the DNO's service terminal equipment, then back down fortuitous earth paths in various other circuits that are not intended to carry such large currents.
If this is actually the case, there is a likelihood of serious damage, fire and shock, and it probably isn't the fault of your installation. The DNO will attend as an emergency as there is a risk to life from all earthed equipment suddenly becoming live, if the fortuitous earths give out. Unfortunately, this particular scenario doesn't normally cause RCDs to trip as they cannot 'see' the problem which is upstream of them.
Don't use heavy loads, get it sorted immediately. I too am surprised by the response of the electrician. I would expect to be able to diagnose this conclusively within about 30 seconds. Unless there is some other completely bizarre explanation like trolls under your floor using arc welders.
The meter and head absolutely should not be boxed in like that, and the DNO would insist that the obstruction be removed in order to inspect. The problem might be right there behind the 'wall.'
but laid out in a form that can be understood by anyone. You have a fantastic way of explaining things.